the glad game

It's what my momma taught me ~ too....

2012-01-21T12:00:00.000-07:00

. . .this book ~ [In Defense of Food] reinforces all the things I have been taught for my whole life. Government Studies are often NOT what they claim to be ~ better informed than our common sense... Fad diets are really not healthy... A balanced plan of fruits and vegetables in season, meats [and that goes for all meats] in moderation, whole grains, instead of refined starches. That fats are NOT the monster we have been lectured they are, and while we only need them in moderation, we do need them. Butter is WAY better than margarine ever thought of being ~ that olive oil is so much better than "vegetable" oil pretends to be as well ~ and stay away from processed sugars and prepackaged foods! White sugar truly is not good for us. Our ancestors ate very little sugar, and they cooked from scratch.

I KNOW these things and I am trying to eat this way. In the last couple months I have done really well, actually. I didn't even gain any weight on vacation... BUT, as this book points out ~ historically, eating food was also a social and cultural event ~ but we have turned it into something negative and guilt ridden. But in reading about the cultural positives of foods, I am now noticing that I do way better about not overeating when I don't eat alone... I notice I am statistically better able to combat binge eating when I write down what I consume each day... both the good and the bad ~ and I know that if I want something that isn't as healthy I can have it, as long as I don't make a habit out of it. Finally, I am reminded that consistancy is it's own reward.

I am VERY happy I decided to read this book. It's been on my list for over a year. My doctor mentioned it so long ago I can't remember when it was... But, in my quest for answers and help in my renewed effort at strengthening my body I finally got around to borrowing it from my library, in kindle format. Because I have my tablet with me everywhere, I read on the go sometimes ~ and I've been sharing with hubby. It's become a valuable asset in my efforts and desires to get stronger! It's given me encouragement to stay on track, and reminded me that one day of backtracking isn't the end of the world...

Food is important, we need to eat ~ but like my momma taught me eating food that is not over processed is even MORE important. I find myself very angry that nutritionism is still so rampant in this country, though more people each year I know are taking back "control" of their own food lives. "We" [in this house] are enjoying food more than ever, lately ~ since we started to eat more whole grains and raw/lightly cooked veggies. We are more satisfied too... still we are eating all foods we like, [even Mexican food]. In some cases we have rethought how to make our favorite dishes more healthy by trading some of the meat, most of the highly processed ingredients for whole grains, and adding a higher percentages of veggies.

Finally I would like to mention, our grocery bill has actually gone down since we started eating this way... ;-)

. . .on to an energized Clanhouse in 2012

2012-01-02T12:00:00.020-07:00

It's a new year and some new goals [and challenges] to face!

I am adding "The 52 Weeks to an Organized Home" ~ weekly challenge to my 2012 yearly plan. This coming year is all about personal improvement in my mind. I have some personal goals that I've been doing pretty well at, but I am stepping up my game to include getting stronger physically and more organized generally.

I use a "mesh" of several cleaning and organizing ideas. Sidetracked Home Executives, Don Aslett, The Fly Lady, and a few other cleaning gurus have helped me created a personal cleaning plan that works for me... this year I'll also have a housekeeper, our daughter [PrincessBride] is going to work for me ~ she is a really great worker, and I have really missed her get it done abilities since she left home. She's already made such a big difference to the house's cleanliness... The other plus to this arrangement [which also will help her be a SAHM] is that I get to play/be with our little grandPrincess once a week while PB cleans.

The Food Nanny, My Recipes, and Meals Matter ~ while utilizing Google Cal/Docs are all sites that have helped me get a better handle on meal planning and recipe management. This saved so much time and money ~ I love living with some organization in my life.

Now I want to tackle some of the stuff that falls through the cracks [like strength building through good health habits and organizing all those small spaces that are hidden from view...] I am hoping this organizing plan will be one of the answers to getting the small stuff dealt with around here. I've been doing pretty well when it comes to this "first week's" challenge, espeically since we moved to our new home. Still I like a LOT of the ideas here, so I thought I would share... and keep track of how my progress goes.

We did a big declutter/purge as part of the move ~ so it's easier to keep going now. Anyway ~ let the organizing BEGIN in earnest!

Week 1 ~ Kitchen Organization

December wrap-up ~ big goals for 2012

2011-12-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

I accomplished quite a LOT in 2011. When I look at the list it's pretty amazing, at least for me...

. . .one of my biggest goals for this coming year is to get stronger physically so that I can enjoy my family and "travel" more [especially with hubby]. I have big plans over the next few years to see some places and do some things ~ a few are things that I wouldn't normally do ~ but I need a stronger body in order to truly enjoy those activities. [DC was a BIG eye opener of how much I need to pace myself though, and it's all a delicate balance, with my disease...] ~ Anyway, to help me accomplish my goals I will reinstate a previously successful plan, approved by numerous docs in the past... Elliptical, healthy eating, fluids, rest ~ easy you say? Yeah, it SHOULD be ~ right? ;-)

To help with this goal hubby bought me a "bodymedia" armband sensor yesterday. It'll track my steps and activity through the day, and make suggestions to encourage me to be active, which I will do at a proper level for me [I even learned how to use my Wii Fit sometimes from a chair], and showing me some of the progress I'm making. Here's hoping.!!

Thanks, Giving

2011-11-23T07:00:00.002-07:00

I am thankful for so much in my life ~ family, home, safety, health for those I love... I am truly blessed.

It seems less than enough to simply count my blessings ~ but the act of doing so is a act that reminds me of all I hold so dear. So as the song says: "Because I have been given much, I too must give..." [LDS Hymns #219]

A GRAND Princess

2011-10-25T06:00:00.003-07:00

Our new little granddaughter was born earlier this month ~ she is perfect!

Plus she has RED HAIR. I always wanted a red head when I was having kids ~ how sweet of God to send me a grandchild with beautiful red hair.

magical moments...

2011-08-28T09:00:00.005-07:00

...yesterday was our Princess Bride's baby shower [does that mean she'll morph into a queen bee, now? ;-) ] It's hard to believe that 3+ years have flown by since her wedding day...

I think everyone that was there had a lot of fun, but me ~ I especially enjoyed watching my lovely daughter coo over the new blankets, clothes, and other cute and personal items her baby will use in the first few months of her life. Our granddaughter is due in just a few weeks and we anxiously await her arrival [certainly my attitude can't be called "patience", ha ha]. We can't wait to meet her... I am looking forward to watching our daughter grow into her roll as mother, and of course cuddling a new little angel, straight from God's arms.

I remember my own mother telling me there was nothing better than seeing your children succeed in life. She was NEVER more right.

Son2 is fully on his own as well ~ exploring the world, and making his own way. He's got a girlfriend and of course a rent payment to manage... Like everyone else he also juggles car repairs and grocery shopping... Welcome to the real world, right? Are we ALL in a hurry to get to adulthood and then find out being young wasn't all THAT bad...? ha ha Son2 seems to enjoy his freedom though, so that is good. A bit harder for mom to see him fly, being the last one.

Son1 and Sweetee [his beautiful Redhead] are doing great ~ and full throttle in the middle of his Navy training. The Nuclear field is TOUGH though! Lots of competition and so much studying I am sure MY head would spin off and go crashing to the ground... if I had to do what he accomplishes each week. Sweetee is the consummate Navy wife, keeping the home fires lit and burning for her sailor... [They will soon celebrate 4 years of wedded bliss ~ really??? How do these years fly by so fast?]

All my kiddos are independent and unique. And they all are SO different and wonderful in their own ways... It's a joy as a parent to love them in this new capacity ~ as adults ~ and to witness magical moments in their lives...

wise words for today~

2011-07-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

. . .an old Cherokee told his grandson, "My son, there is a battle between 2 wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies & ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy & truth." The boy thought about it, then asked, "Grandfather, which wolf wins?" The old man quietly replied, "The one you feed."

[very wise ~ so I appropriated this from a cousin, to share]

just call me grammi...

2011-07-20T07:00:00.045-07:00

For those that don't know, our first grandchild is due in early OCT, [the first which will be born to one of our children, and not "love-adopted" into our family].

We are very excited of course for our princess and sir knight ~ they will be fabulous parents, and we will try very hard to be carefully doting grandparents, NOT prone to "over" spoil.! Still this is the first grandchild on both sides of this new little one's family, so we will need to watch ourselves, because grand babies are just so spoil-able... ;-)

We know "she" will be beautiful ~ but will she have her paternal aunt's auburn hair? Will she have her grandpa's eye color or mommy's sense of style? [Believe me when I say we won't know for sure on that one for MANY years, when our princess was very young her sense of style included stripes and flowers in the same outfit.!] Will she love crazy rock music like daddy? It's sure she will win all our hearts the minute we meet her ~ and we can barely wait!

It's so fun that we now live close to our daughter and her little family at this exiting time! So far we love living here ~ our new home is amazingly perfect for us ~ and I suspect we will love it even better when the heat of summer fades and we can truly enjoy the outdoors again! ha ha This part of AZ has mild winters ~ looking forward to THAT too! We have a marvelous patio/yard in back that we plan to spend lots of time in!

Welcome to ClanHouse 2011

2011-07-16T17:00:00.011-07:00

Our new front door ~decorated~ this mom of a sailor desires to wear her "blue star" colors. ;-)

lessons of a lifetime ~

2011-06-01T21:00:00.002-07:00

When I was growing up my mother worked nights... In fact I can't remember when she didn't work nights. She did it for more than 20 years ~ and I never thought about it much. It was just what mom did. It was the way she helped dad to provide for the family. I don't remember hearing her complain at all, but one time I remember when I was in high school she fell asleep driving home and hit a traffic light, in the left turn lane! Fortunately no one else was involved, but I remember that event scared me a LOT.!

A few years ago [ok, more than 13 years ago] I tried working nights for about a month ~ I was so exhausted I couldn't see straight, and I was CRABBY in the extreme, so I gave up on that approach and found a different job ~ after a very long search! LOL I found out that working nights was not for ME... but I still didn't appreciate my mom's sacrifice for her family. I now understand why after momma retired daddy never wanted to be far from her side. He missed her probably a LOT more than he ever let on all those years, so for the next 25+ years after her retirement, they were rarely separated, even in death. They did so much together and had a BLAST doing it!

SEVEN years ago hubby started working nights, in a new field for him at the time. He had been back in school for almost 3 years, and we were just so GLAD for him to be working and NOT in school ~ neither of us cared that his new position was on nights... it was "temporary", [or so we thought at the time,] a year, maybe two... What we didn't realize is that sometimes God [or fate if you prefer] has a different plan for your family, and you don't get your "first choice" in life. At least not after some level of sacrifice. So what started out as a short term foot in the door, turned into what at times felt like a long term "trap" from first one facility to a second one. Don't get me wrong, he LOVES his job ~ we know that we made the right choice for hubby to work nights all this time ~ but seriously ~ night shift will kill you after you turn 50 and hubby was 50 when he "started" working nights ~ and the last year has felt like 5! [grimace]

Happily I've announce just about everywhere that in just over 2 weeks hubby will start working days for the first time in 7 years [+2 weeks and 3 days]. An eternity! ;-) But what's a bit more interesting in this story is not how happy this truth makes me, [for I am SURLY as happy as I have every been about this new schedule to our lives], I have been thinking about momma a LOT and what it must have been like for her and daddy while she worked all those years in hospitals as an Aide, nights. I know she SAID she preferred nights... [but then, so did hubby ~ in his case it was something of a brain scam, so that he didn't get crabby ~ I think]. But was it really her preference or was she just doing what thousands of other parents have done during their lives ~ the best they can, and whatever they need to ~ to make a better existance for their family?

I know my respect for my mother has been high nearly all my adult life, but these last few years of going through night shifts with hubby ~ my feelings of admiration for my mother have grown beyond previous bounds. I think she was stronger than the $6M woman to work nights all those years!

Momma, I know you are watching at times, and at special moments I feel you close ~ so please know that I am grateful you gave me such an amazing example of selflessness to grow up with. I don't come close to matching you, in any stretch of the imagination ~ but you help me find the strength to do things and be someone I am sure I would never have approached without you ~ to somehow dig a bit deeper and find something I didn't guess was there.

I miss you terribly, but ~ when I do good sometimes, I hear you inside my head cheering me on! What a WOMAN you are momma! How you ever survived 20+ years of night shifts all the way to 62+ years, is anyone's guess! ;-) It sure make you MY hero, and beyond glad we didn't have to follow in your footsteps for another 13+ years.

I only hope I can take another page from your example and enjoy the next chapter in hubby's and my eternity ~ and our time together!

more passings~

2011-03-18T06:00:00.001-07:00

FIL passed away peacefully yesterday. I am glad I was there, it was a precious and sacred moment to comfort him through the fears he obviously felt, however at the very end he seemed completely ready and he just stepped into the other room to join his sweetheart of 57 years, whom he had missed so desperately the last 6 months.

He joined her 6 months to the day.

in search of comfort...

2011-01-04T10:00:00.012-07:00

A Child’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, are you really there?

And do you hear and answer ev’ry child’s prayer?

Some say that heaven is far away,

But I feel it close around me as I pray.

Heavenly Father, I remember now

Something that Jesus told disciples long ago:

“Suffer the children to come to me.”

Father, in prayer I’m coming now to thee.

Pray, he is there;
Speak, he is list’ning.
You are his child;
His love now surrounds you.
He hears your prayer;
He loves the children.
Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of heav’n.

This song may be copied for incidental, noncommercial church or home use.

Happy New Year

2010-12-31T12:00:00.000-07:00

“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.”

~ Irish Blessing

. . .the joys of the season ~

2010-12-08T19:00:00.031-07:00

It's never hard to find something we want, something currently out of our reach, or something lost. Like a lot of other people I have spent too much time in my life mourning wishes and losses. While doing that we all miss opportunities for happy moments and joy with the people and blessings we do have in our lives.

Especially at this time of year we can get so involved in getting ready for Christmas we sometimes miss out on the holiday completely if we're not careful. I have been as guilty of that as the next guy too, but for the last few years hubby and I have been trying not to lose ourselves in such efforts. We have tried to focus on time together and with our family. We have been happier doing that.

We still celebrate, give and receive gifts, and we still decorate... [albeit in a much simpler way ~ out of necessity]. We are trying to focus on the reasons for the celebration itself. In honor of that idea, for the rest of this month I will be trying to capture with my camera lens some of what we associate with Christmas and New Years. Please feel free to catch that series of photos on my 365 project blog.

I am winding down on my project. I will be done on the 31st and since hubby gave me the camera last year for Christmas it seems only fitting that I spend these last few days capturing some of the holiday spirit that prompted him to give me a gift that has helped me grow this last year outside my own comfort zone. Next year I will be choosing a new way to share my joy at owning such a nice camera, more on that next month.

I wish I was brave...

2010-11-27T06:57:00.015-07:00

…like my dad, and my mom ~ like grandparents and so many others that I love who have gone, but who lived their lives as examples to me. I wish I could be a better example to my own children. My parents, and other long gone loved ones, they all showed me years ago how to be strong in the face of pain, frustration, and discouragement. In fact I saw just about every physical limitation you can think of dealt with ~ in patience and faith by my own parents.

I witnessed the personal struggles of some of these people I love the most, admittedly I wasn't right in the room with all of them for many of their personal journeys in life… but I saw enough over my years to know how hard it was for them to have physical limitation, and have to have help with every little thing in some cases. In my head I understand how to deal with pain and all the stuff that goes with it… but to actually live with new limitations every few years gracefully? Well, in my opinion that IS hard, and I recognize I am really lousy at it.! Even after all these years of dealing with my disease, add just one new pain, or challenge and I head over the falls, practically over night. Fortunately, all those strong "genes" kick in eventually and I hitch up a boot strap or two and get on with the program at hand...

I am trying to do better at looking for the positives and skimming over the negatives. I was recently counseled to look at what is right in my life instead of what is wrong. That's good advice, and I AM trying ~ but man is it hard to remember that, every minute, of every day.

Still I know how very blessed I am and I thank the Lord each morning for another day to try and do better at what ever I need to do better at. The list seems to get longer rather than shorter... LOL But I'm not gonna give up now. If nothing else I need to prove to myself that I can do this!

In God We Trust

2010-10-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

I have no idea where this story came from, but it is really worth passing along ~ [get out your kleenex]
~~~~~~~~~~
I just wanted to get the day over with and go down to Smokey's. Sneaking a look at my watch, I saw the time, 1655. Five minutes to go before the cemetery gates are closed for the day. Full dress was hot in the August sun. Oklahoma summertime was as bad as ever--the heat and humidity at the same level--both too high.

I saw the car pull into the drive, '69 or '70 model Cadillac Deville, looked factory-new. It pulled into the parking lot at a snail's pace.. An old woman got out so slow I thought she was paralyzed; she had a cane and a sheaf of flowers--about four or five bunches as best I could tell.

I couldn't help myself. The thought came unwanted, and left a slightly bitter taste: 'She's going to spend an hour, and for this old soldier, my hip hurts like hell and I'm ready to get out of here right now!' But for this day, my duty was to assist anyone coming in.

Kevin would lock the 'In' gate and if I could hurry the old biddy along, we might make it to Smokey's in time.

I broke post attention. My hip made gritty noises when I took the first step and the pain went up a notch. I must have made a real military sight: middle-aged man with a small pot gut and half a limp, in marine full-dress uniform, which had lost its razor crease about thirty minutes after I began the watch at the cemetery.

I stopped in front of her, halfway up the walk. She looked up at me with an old woman's squint.

'Ma'am,may I assist you in any way?'

She took long enough to answer.

'Yes, son. Can you carry these flowers? I seem to be moving a tad slow these days.'

'My pleasure, ma'am.' Well, it wasn't too much of a lie.

She looked again. 'Marine, where were you stationed?'

' Vietnam , ma'am.. Ground-pounder. '69 to '71.'

She looked at me closer. 'Wounded in action, I see. Well done, Marine. I'll be as quick as I can.'

I lied a little bigger: 'No hurry, ma'am.'

She smiled and winked at me. 'Son, I'm 85-years-old and I can tell a lie from a long way off... Let's get this done. Might be the last time I can do this. My name's Joanne Wieserman, and I've a few Marines I'd like to see one more time.'

'Yes, ma 'am. At your service.'

She headed for the World War I section, stopping at a stone. She picked one of the flowers out of my arm and laid it on top of the stone. She murmured something I couldn't quite make out.. The name on the marble was Donald S. Davidson, USMC: France 1918.

She turned away and made a straight line for the World War II section, stopping at one stone. I saw a tear slowly tracking its way down her cheek. She put a bunch on a stone; the name was Stephen X.Davidson, USMC, 1943.

She went up the row a ways and laid another bunch on a stone, Stanley J. Wieserman, USMC, 1944..

She paused for a second. 'Two more, son, and we'll be done'

I almost didn't say anything, but, 'Yes, ma'am. Take your time.'

She looked confused.. 'Where's the Vietnam section, son? I seem to have lost my way.'

I pointed with my chin. 'That way, ma'am.'

'Oh!' she chuckled quietly. 'Son, me and old age ain't too friendly.'

She headed down the walk I'd pointed at. She stopped at a couple of stones before she found the ones she wanted. She placed a bunch onLarry Wieserman, USMC, 1968, and the last on Darrel Wieserman, USMC, 1970. She stood there and murmured a few words I still couldn't make out.

'OK, son, I'm finished. Get me back to my car and you can go home.'

Yes, ma'am. If I may ask, were those your kinfolk?'

She paused. 'Yes, Donald Davidsonwas my father, Stephen was my uncle, Stanley was my husband,Larry and Darrel were our sons. All killed in action, all marines.'

She stopped. Whether she had finished, or couldn't finish, I don't know. She made her way to her car, slowly and painfully.
I waited for a polite distance to come between us and then double-timed it over to Kevin, waiting by the car.
'Get to the 'Out' gate quick.. I have something I've got to do.'

Kevin started to say something, but saw the look I gave him. He broke the rules to get us there down the service road. We beat her. She hadn't made it around the rotunda yet.

'Kevin, stand at attention next to the gatepost. Follow my lead.' I humped it across the drive to the other post.

When the Cadillac came puttering around from the hedges and began the short straight traverse to the gate, I called in my best gunny's voice: 'TehenHut! Present Haaaarms!'

I have to hand it to Kevin; he never blinked an eye--full dress attention and a salute that would make his DI proud.
She drove through that gate with two old worn-out soldiers giving her a send-off she deserved, for service rendered to her country, and for knowing duty, honor and sacrifice.

I am not sure, but I think I saw a salute returned from that Cadillac.

Instead of 'The End,' just think of 'Taps.'

As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer: 'Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in your loving hands and protect them as they protect us.'

Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.

'In God We Trust.'

The Fern and The Bamboo

2010-10-03T08:00:00.002-07:00

Sometimes the physical limitations of my body get me down... Today I found this inspiring story and thought I would share it: ~~~

The Fern and The Bamboo

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality.... I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me.

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" "Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

"In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. The same in year four.

"Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

"Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle. Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others." He said.

"The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.

"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high."
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest, realizing that God has not given up on me. Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences. Both are essential to life.

half way...

2010-09-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

I mentioned a while back that Son1 joined the Navy. He is now just about half way done.

Sweetee received a couple short phone calls and some letters. More letters will arrive and at least one more phone call to tell her she is officially a Navy Wife. The time is moving along, although not nearly fast enough for those of us waiting for the trip to go see him graduate from Recruit Training Command.

I've never been to IL and so it will be fun to see a new part of the country. Hubby and I are taking the train and making a real vacation out of it. We are also celebrating out 27th anniversary on the trip home and are stopping off for 4 days in a very special spot where I have a lot of family history.

The train trip itself should be an adventure, as we have reserved a sleeping unit on the train, and that means we'll be in a private compartment for the whole trip. Meals are included. It's another second honeymoon. We try to take one every year, but it's only worked out about half the time. I think this year's is the 15th, so not too shabby.

I am almost as excited about this trip as I was our cruise... Seems a million years ago since our cruise. So much has happened in our lives. I am excited to see our son in uniform and I am super excited to see new places and spend time with hubby... away from home where he can't get called in to work.

This morning I simply feel grateful for my life. I have a fabulous hubby, he is the focus of my heart and time. He is the love of my life. I love my children and am grateful for the blessing to see them grow into adult people that give back to the world. I have a home that is safe and secure. I feel so blessed.

hummingbird watching

2010-09-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

I don't have the energy for much lately, but watching the hummingbird feeder hubby added to our back yard a few weeks ago is always fascinating and fun. I can sit in a lawn chair and hear and see a wondrous ballet and symphony.

Here are just a few of the shots I have taken.

...on losing a loved one.

2010-09-19T07:00:00.027-07:00

Everyone's experience is different, because we are all different. Individual ways of coping, grieving and mourning are also, very often, different. The way I grieve and the way hubby grieves are worlds apart. That doesn't mean either is better or worse. They just are, and they are wildly different.

Each of my children have different ways of grieving... some things they have taken from their father, some things they have taken from me, and some things are very individual to them... just as I am alike/different than my parents... Just as hubby is alike/different than his parents.

Still no matter how different the ways are, grieving happens in every life as a part of living. The grief that accompanies death is one that no one can escape forever. We all lose loved ones. Recently I lost someone I love, someone I grew to love even more as I cared for her for the last 5 months of her life.

On Friday night my mother-in-law passed away. She left this earth very peacefully. She must have, we had a monitor present that caught every sound she made and we didn't hear anything. The first indication I had that their was a problem was when our Tucker woke me up and indicated that "gramma" needed something. It was dark, 11 o'clock.

For the last few month the pups were my alarm system... They knew when mom was awake, when she was anxious, when she was "looking for the exit"... and even when she was starting to get hungry. They gave me little "signs" that I needed to pay closer attention to her needs, and figure out what was wrong... The ability they had to understand her needs, even when she couldn't express them, fascinated me... I found it very comforting that they were the ones that noticed right away that mom had left us... Tucker warned us probably within minutes of mom "crossing over", as she put it to me a few months ago in a conversation we had.

That conversation happened not long after we moved them here. We had been to visit my father-in-law at the facility he resides in, and she said to me in the car going home... "He's dying, you know?" I indicated that I understood that too... but he wasn't worse than he had been so I told her "not for a while probably yet." She stared out the window and after a long pause said... "I'm not afraid of crossing over. I know my Savior, and I am not afraid. When it's time I will be happy." I appreciated her sharing that opinion with me. Within minutes of those comments her "clarity" was gone again.

That conversation has come to my mind several times over the last two weeks... There were occasionally some tense moments for her, but at the very end I believe she was very much at peace.

Earlier this summer I read this quote and it stuck with me:

Robert Blatchford, in his book God and My Neighbor, attacked with vigor the accepted Christian beliefs, such as God, Christ, prayer, and immortality. He boldly asserted: “I claim to have proved everything I set out to prove so fully and decisively that no Christian, however great or able he may be, can answer my arguments or shake my case.” He surrounded himself with a wall of skepticism. Then a surprising thing happened. His wall suddenly crumbled to dust. He was left exposed and undefended. Slowly he began to feel his way back to the faith he had scorned and ridiculed. What had caused this profound change in his outlook? His wife died. With a broken heart, he went into the room where all that was mortal of her lay. He looked again at the face he loved so well. Coming out, he said to a friend: “It is she and yet it is not she. Everything has changed. Something that was there before is taken away. She is not the same. What can be gone if it be not the soul?”

Later he wrote: “Death is not what some people imagine. It is only like going into another room. In that other room we shall find … the dear women and men and the sweet children we have loved and lost.” (God and My Neighbor, Chicago: Charles H. Kerr and Co.) ~ Thomas S. Monson, “‘I Know That My Redeemer Lives’,” Ensign, Apr 1990, 2

That thought, ~ that mom had just gone into another room ~ a room which I couldn't physically see came to me as I was there in the room and hubby searched for signs of life. Her body still warm for some time yet, but I knew that she, the woman we all knew, loved, and will miss was gone from the room, no one had to tell me. Hubby needed his stethoscope to be medically sure she was gone, but I could feel that she had crossed over.

It was a precious gift to experience the last few months with mom. It wasn't easy... but then, few really worthwhile things are... I am grateful to all who supported us in our efforts to allow mom to stay at home. We feel it was what she truly wanted. She was happy here. She had her "Precious" [Chloe], hubby's presence comforted her a lot... and she was on the whole content. Towards the end there were hospice workers, hired caregivers, friends, and family, that helped in so many ways... too many people to name individually.

I know many of them feel the loss I feel, as well. She was a sweet lady in many ways. She tried so hard to be polite even when she was so confused all the time. In time the pain of loss I feel will fade and the waves of grief will only be light sprays of longing... for a voice I miss, the touch of an aged hand, the joyful laughter and smiles that could light up a room, but are now silent and still...

Loss reminds us to appreciate the ones we still have with us. That is a very good thing to do. So to those that I still hold close: I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you for being a part of my life. I don't say all of those things nearly often enough.

Strange Truths For Mature Humans

2010-09-15T09:00:00.004-07:00

[courtesy of my darling Texas-sister-in-love]
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Budweiser than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

to quote...

2010-09-13T18:00:00.003-07:00

~ Leo Buscaglia ~

Ancient Egyptians believed
that upon death

they would be
asked two questions

and their answers
would determine

whether they could continue
their journey in the afterlife.

The first question was,
"Did you bring joy?"

The second was,
"Did you find joy?"

...grandma's got a "new do"!

2010-09-09T17:00:00.003-07:00

Today I took my mother-in-law to have her hair cut. She had a stoke last Sunday and her ability to help me take care of all her grooming needs is more limited and so I felt it necessary to choose something that could be washed and dried from a chair, because showers and baths are a lot harder for her now... It's very short and sassy, and thanks to the magic hands of a good hairdresser/friend here in town she just looks soooo super cute! I asked her... "mom can you give me a smile, I want to take your picture", and she said "yes"... then she looked right at the camera and gave me THIS... I chuckled, but she didn't even move a single muscle, until I snapped the shot, she just awaited like that for me to take her picture. Honestly I haven't seen her smile since the stroke, so maybe this WAS a smile... but whatever, if I am this beautiful when I am 80, have dementia, and suffer the effect of a stroke I'll count myself lucky. I think she looks really GREAT! Thanks Mary!

...a picture says a thousand words!

2010-09-03T00:30:00.002-07:00

Anyone that knows Hubby knows he dislikes having his picture taken. I have to admit, I am not much better, I tend to see myself as old and fat in pictures any more, so I think, "why?" But he got me this great camera last Christmas so really he shouldn't be surprised that I want to take pictures of him/us.

Monday we had respite care in to take care of MIL and spent the evening with Son1 and Sweetee. Hubby was not going to be able to go down for Son1's "farewell" dinner, the night before he left for boot, so we planned an evening so that Son1 could say goodbye and spend some time with his dad... we had dinner and a fun time together. We were over at the square (downtown), I was snapping random shots trying to get something to put up on my 365, which is behind schedule, and we came to the courthouse steps. They called out "photo-op" so I lined up Son1 and Sweetee first, and this is the cute shot of got of them...

Hubby was less thrilled when I explained I wanted the same pose for us! "You just took pictures of us" he commented. (On Aug 7th, I got a snap of us together when we stopped at a lookout point.) So, the first shot shows his true feelings about pictures, LOL.

But actually the second one is the money shot, because he really is not only a good sport, but a fun date, 27 years, 3 kids and a million kisses later!

All of this is going on with me behind him and Son1 on the shutter... I had no idea. When I started editing the pictures I laughed myself silly.

However did I get so LUCKY to find this wonderful, faithful, good-for-me, man?

Can I just say...

2010-08-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

that I am blown away by the little kids that are starting HS this year! hahaha

Several of my younger friends with children that are at different stages than my kids posted on facebook (with pictures no less) that this or that child is starting [various grades] at school, as this new year starts. My interest turned to SHOCK when I realized how many of the little kids Princess Bride babysat when she was a high schooler are now at the same age she was ~ then!

Kids just grow up soooo fast. All my own kids are adults, as are all the ones we adopted out of love, and generally because they were friends of our kids and we saw them a lot so considered them as extensions of our family. Some of those kids have kids now too.

Yeah, I know... "it's the circle of life" ~ as Disney put it in The Lion King... but it's still kind of weird when you drive down the street and pass a kid you remember in the back seat in a car seat (but whose not someone you see every day) driving the car now!

Seriously weird and scary! LOL

Monsoons make me so happy!

2010-08-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

I am a desert rat.!

Generally I like living in the high desert where it is cooler than other parts of AZ, and really my personal comfort zone is around 78 degrees, which is more like spring around here... not summer... I also prefer the drier climate of the SW most of the time because of multiple allergies. Still ~ when the monsoons start every year I am happy, happy, happy.! So I guess I am a rain lover too, who'd have thunk it? LOL

We have had a great monsoon season this year. Lots of clouds and generous amounts of precipitation. I LOVElovelove it!

Frowning makes you look old...

2010-07-29T05:00:00.005-07:00

This morning a somewhat silly children's song was running through my mind as I woke up. I am going to have all my kids together again this weekend. That just makes me feel happy. So, I am smiling and humming as I work on breakfast or my mother-in-law.

My kids will remember that we sang this little ditty while cleaning their rooms years ago, (or other unpleasant tasks...) For those of you unfamiliar with the words:

When you chance to meet a frown,
Do not let it stay,
Quickly turn it upside down,
And smile that frown away.

No one likes a frowny face,
Trade it for a smile,
Make the world a better place,
By smiling all the while.

I may have gotten one or two of the words wrong, but that's pretty close to the way I remember we sang it. While the song itself is completely random, and doesn't allow for the idea that we have the right to feel bad when bad things happen, - many times we would be better served by simply putting a smile on our faces and getting on with life rather than wallowing in sadness as is often the preference for some people I know. Still, please know I'm not taking about depression or any other real struggle. I am only talking about "smiling".

Researchers have shown that smiling makes you look younger. Really? They needed to fund a study to learn that? hahaha That fact only makes sense. Look around at the people you see today while you are out and about ~ you will notice that the ones that are smiling look younger and are more attractive ~ in general. So my reasons for wanting to smile more has nothing to do with having so much to be grateful for. I simply want to look better in the mirror. hahaha

Besides, I am honestly and seriously tired of all the grim news, and the doom and gloom. So, the economy is bad ~ get over it... and welcome to MY world. Our family's economy was bad for years before the rest of the world caught up... LOL We ("personally") aren't in any worse shape than we were 20 years ago. Some of our kids are struggling more than we would like to see, because of employment losses... And we still have medical debt we wish we didn't. We still have to budget carefully to pay all our bills. And we still pray for jobs for everyone in our family and hope that we can keep up. But we have been doing that our whole married life.

For anyone that lives in a vacuum and hasn't heard it before, here is MY secret to survival: (it's the same advice wise men and women all over encourage...) Never give up on dreaming WHILE you ~ work hard ~ spend less than you make every week ~ save for what you want ~ only borrow for education, a home, or car... and then only borrow what you KNOW you can pay it back without overtime figured in, or other "windfalls" ~ finally, decide you are going to be happy with what you have, while you dream, plan and save for what you would like to have, down the road. There is peace and contentment to be found in this advice.

Really, no young couple is entitled to have what their parents have worked a lifetime for... But often I look at lots of young people today, and they seem to truly believe things are important, and that they "need" them. However, things are things, and they go away. If your stuff goes away, you will be fine, but work to hang on to your family, and keep the lines of communications with loved ones open and healthy.

I grew up knowing that family, good health, truth and patience combined with "faith, hope, and charity" are really important. I tell my kids that if they concentrate on those things in life, a lot of other stuff will work itself out. I know this to be true. Of course a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt either.........

to quote...

2010-07-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf ~

“When our wagon gets stuck in the mud, God is much more likely to assist the man who gets out to push than the man who merely raises his voice in prayer—no matter how eloquent the oration.”

Two Principles for Any Economy, Ensign, Nov. 2009, 56-57

your camera went somewhere without you.?

2010-07-16T05:00:00.004-07:00

Early this morning my incredible, fabulous, camera went on vacation without me. LOL Son1 and Sweetee borrowed it to make a quick getaway excursion to see her bestie and hubby, and her brother who has recently returned stateside with the Navy.

A person I consider a friend, whose camera is never lent to ANYONE, even to take a picture of herself (she uses a tripod and remote for that, she told me,) was appalled that I could so easily lend mine out. She doesn't understand me any more than I understand her, today... She has no point of reference for being a mom, as she never wanted children and I have no point of reference for stuff being more important than the close and trusting relationship I have with my kids... I admit that I laughed at her shock and dismay. Then I apologized, but I still don't understand it.

Son1 leaves in 6 weeks for Navy boot and the start of many new adventures for them together as he makes a career out of this change in their life-paths. I am told by a friend whose been a Navy wife for more than 30 years, and whose hubby is "up there" in rank, and by some other Navy contacts that the Nuclear Program is pretty exclusive ~ I know Son1 is excited to be a part of it. I am happy for them, because it is what they want.

Everyone knows he will of course have deployments and they will have days of missing family/loved ones and probably short stints of "hating life" ahead of them both... so for now they concentrate on enjoying the time they have together. They are so in love and I consider myself lucky to be called "mom" by all my kids.

It really wasn't a sacrifice to lend them my baby... errr, I mean ~ my camera.! LOL I DO miss it, because I have taken to carrying it everywhere I go, just in case I find a "one shot deal". The only truly bad part is that now these kids of mine will find that they have to start saving, in order to buy one. hahaha I certainly have found that once I started taking pics with my DSLR I was spoiled for "anything" else! I've had a great little point and shoot for a long time, and it takes fine pics... but I hardly ever use it any more. And even though I don't really think of my camera as an indispensable part of my life ~ like my children and hubby... my Canon~T1i is one of the best purchases we have made in our married life, I find myself wishing and planning for places to go and things to "snap". ;-) I really enjoy using it, and yeah, I even miss it this morning.

But mostly, I am happily hoping Son1 and Sweetee have fun, make lots of memories, and get lots of GREAT shots and movies this weekend to keep them company through the months of separation that are coming up. They will do fine with their challenges, they are REALLY good kids and devoted to each other, they are strong and I have great faith in them... but having good pictures WILL help with the separation!

So yeah, I let my camera go on vacation without me.! ;-)

... another month almost gone!

2010-06-27T21:29:00.006-07:00

"Days fly by faster as you get older," my mother used to tell me that when I was a girl... and I would think... YEAH, RIIIIGHT! LOL Sometimes I wonder... if I could have that young body back, and keep my experience...? ahhh, what a dream~

Once you grow up and have kids of your own, a home/hubby to care for/about... maybe you have a very different kind of life from mine, but still... doesn't it "seem" that the older you get the faster the days pass?

Life in my personal little Hooterville (AKA "SmallTown" AZ) is settling into a reasonable routine. The in-laws have adjusted to life in this DRY southwest region, instead of their previous more humid part of central TX, where everything was green, and grass did not have to be watered. Notwithstanding, it's been a relatively uneventful adjustment for both. The hardest part is that they are no longer able to be together. Mom lives with us and Dad is in a end of life care facility. He is stable, for how long is anyone's guess.

Mom is stabilizing too, and it honestly feels like a privilege to be of service to her. If someone had told me even 10 years ago that someday I would be helping to care for my MIL I would have called them a liar! We had, what I can only term as an "interesting" relationship for most of my marriage, but in my world and from my belief of family, this is what families do. They love and support one another through all stages of life, and mom needs people and stimulus. In a care center she would shrivel. The longer we care for her the more convinced I am of this truth. Another surprising fact is that through this experience my love is growing exponentially. So as long as mom stays relatively amiable, we will keep her here, with us.

I can honestly say that God holds us in His hands continually as we attempt this path. Often I feel His gentle encouragement to not loose my cool, in the moment ~ when challenges arise. At other times I KNOW that my sense of humor has been given a gigantic boost and I simply feel the urge to laugh rather than respond in a less appropriate way to difficult situations that come to our lives.

A side benefit we really never thought about, is that our children are getting to know the grandparents who they have not seen and rarely heard from for the last 18 years. It's a sweet, unexpected blessing. For the first time in 20 years hubby spent a short time on father's day with his father...

We are all trying to gather as many happy moments together as we can... for later when memories will have to do.

finally, pictures of our 2010 family reunion

2010-06-15T08:00:00.003-07:00

Starting out in the van the first morning of the trip... here is our cute Princess Bride and her Sir Knight (it is hard to believe they have been married 2 yrs!)

This is where we stayed... it was very nice, and was right across the street from the beach.

here PB and SK are again after we got to the condo and walked to the beach

Son2... it was a beautiful evening and the kids enjoyed stretching their legs after the long car ride.

loving my hubby is really easy, cause he is just a wonderful, caring and handsome man!

The first two days we went to Knott's Berry Farm, San Diego Wild Animal Park AND the Zoo, had such a great time, even with a little rain in the afternoons...

Every night we had beautiful sunsets, and every morning we had gorgeous sunrises...

After Son1 and Sweetee joined us we went to Sea World

Here are the kids, all lined up, waiting to get WET! LOL

and of course these are the performers ~ taking a final bow

There was plenty of silliness and smiles...

(Son2 is taking the picture in the third shot above...)

Some of the kids went Sea Kayaking... (a great workout, I am told...)

and boogy boarding... also not something "I" participated in... LOL

We had GREAT meals together at the condo and sometimes at restaurants...

On Saturday, Son1, Sweetee, hubby and I went to the San Diego Temple...

All in all we really enjoyed the wonderful scenery and had so much fun being together and playing hard, whether it was for 4 days or a week it was so worth the energy we put into making time for each other. And then of course we needed a vacation after the vacation... LOL

Because our sons have joined the Navy we have no idea for sure when our next reunion will be, but we ARE "planning" one, and we will manage to have some family gathering every few years at least.

It was so great to spent time as a whole family.

...so many changes!

2010-05-27T05:00:00.001-07:00

I don't even know where to start. Our lives are completely in flux. We got home from vacation with our children and went immediately into rescue mode for hubby's parents.

My FIL is in end of life care, MIL is living with us while we try to assess where to go next with her care, her dementia is much worse than we had any clue and the changes have taken place mostly in the last few months.

My time is no longer my own and I find myself struggling to just stay on top of email and my photo project. It's a good thing I hadn't planned anything for the summer, (at least nothing written in stone.)

I will try to get some of our vacation photos posted here, but there are quite a few on my project 365 if anyone is really interested. Start with April 19th and move forward (but the vacation pictures are not necessarily in order, or limited to the time we were gone in April...)

to quote...

2010-04-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

~Mark Twain:
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

The "promise" of Easter.

2010-04-04T07:00:00.002-07:00

The peach tree is in bloom and the day is glorious.

Easter will forever be a bit tender for me, 3 years ago on Easter evening daddy returned "home"... but knowing/understanding the message of Jesus Christ, the Savior of us all, means that on that beautiful evening it was the first time daddy and momma had been together for any real quality time for some very long years, though they died just 5 short weeks apart. That thought was a sweet reality for me.

I always loved Easter growing up, momma made it special... As I learned and repented as an adult I grew to love the message of the Atonement. I grew to love and have a deep gratitude for my Savior. That is when Easter became more than just a nice family holiday, for me...

I love Easter for another reason the last few years. A reason that simply increases my value of this special gift the Savior gave to the world. It is the day that my parents were reunited in the heavens to await their resurrection. Easter is a reminder of the day that the phrase "morning of the first resurrection" became PERSONAL ~ to me... I know my parents are together, happy, and waiting for the rest of the family, no matter how long it takes for us all to be reunited.

The veil seems thin to me today as I remember my parents, and revel in the message of Easter ~ repentance, forgiveness, renewal, Godly love ~ the Atonement... I pray each of my loved ones have a similarly beautiful experience.

..the days rush by

2010-03-31T05:00:00.009-07:00

..with speed that can cause a bit of dizziness, if you're not careful. Already we have reached the end of March for this year of 2010. I find myself wondering how is that even possible. Nevertheless it is... it's here, and we better make the best of it. I woke up too early, and to celebrate the day I took a lovely picture for day 90 of my photo project. Check it out.

The best thing about getting to the end of March is that in April we are planning a fabulous family reunion, and the time will soon be upon us. All of our children will be able to make it, so that at one point we are all together again. That is something I am really looking forward to.

Later this year Son1 and Sweetee will be heading off (probably across the country) to start a new chapter in their lives together. Living the all new life for them of a Navy family, which can and probably will mean lots of travel, with interesting places to go and lovely ports to see. They are excited to take on the world, young and in love with each other. What a great joy as a mother to be a part of that. But, before they scatter on their waves of adventure we decided to attempt to gather our children and their spouses together for some more fun in the sun and surf. It worked (a little to my surprise), and promises to be a wonderful vacation treat.

Our pups will be home with a "hired sitter", who thankfully is also a friend... watching over them and our home. I am glad they will be well loved while we play on the coast, but I know they will miss us and I, will most definitely ~ miss them. They are a true and happy part of my everyday life.

I have become "the lady with the dog". My little girl puppy goes practically everywhere with me, and is doing very well in her early socialization training, heading towards life as my medical alert dog. She happily rides in her carrier, when in the car. Sometimes for hours, and behaves well most places we take her. She is a little too exuberant still around other dogs, but after all not even 5 months old, so she will get better in that area too. Despite all of that, as a family we decided that everyone would leave their dogs home... and even though my baby could have gone as a service dog in training we are leaving her here so that we can really concentrate on family time, and so that she can retain her normal routines.

We have tons of plans and adventures to enjoy, I am looking forward to spending that time with my family. The thought of what is coming just makes spring seem even greater in my mind. I love this time of year always, and the weather of late has been warm and pleasant. Tiny buds are peeking out of branches everywhere. Spring is gaining momentum in our corner of the world. I feel so happy about that.

...to see the light,

2010-03-24T10:00:00.000-07:00

and the world in general through a camera lens and trying to fill up the days on my 365 project is at times a lot harder than it should be, although not necessarily harder than I thought it would be. My creativity is not as well developed as some in our family, plus I find myself wanting to shoot new and different things, not just the same things I always thing of... and unfortunately physical limitations have kept me from going out and about this week.

On top of that, while the weather has been much nicer in the last 10 days, the ground is still brown and dreary, and I want to see the hills full of green and for spring to come to stay. It's hard to say which I like better, because I really like both spring and fall, they are my favorite seasons... and this last winter was such a challenge for me, more so than normal. I am not sure why, exactly. Truth told, it doesn't really matter, I am just glad winter is moving into the background.

We have a family trip planned for later in the spring... A Clan Reunion with all my children. It's going to be so fun, and I am really really looking forward to getting away from the house and spending time with my whole immediate family.

I have not found blogging to be much fun the last few months, but I am hoping that will change again soon and I will share more about our vacation after we get back and I have a few pictures to post.

snow storm...

2010-03-10T10:00:00.006-07:00

Just a few days ago our night skies were so clear I was able to manage a clear shot of the Orion Constellation... I learned to recognize it while looking at the stars with my daddy... Hubby and I love to spend time just looking at the night sky in good weather, and enjoying thunder storms too... Small joys, those are things that are important.

But, it's going to be a few more weeks before the porch evenings/nights happen in comfort again. Yesterday we had a really good snow storm, and it was REALLY cold. While driving home from grocery shopping we even had a complete white out, it was a little freaky seeing as how we live in AZ and many think all we see is sun and dry heat, ha ha. A bit later the weather got busy again and we had more snow...

This view is looking right outside our front door, towards the hills to the northeast.

Today the snow is gone and the ground is brown again. I can't wait for some green to start peeping through the earth. I am soooo ready for spring. I can't remember wanting spring to come so much before. This has been the LONGEST winter I remember in a long, long time.

keeping up with the jones'...

2010-03-08T08:00:00.003-07:00

or NOT.! In truth, I don't even try, ha ha. But, I thought it made for a decent title. Today, there isn't much to say that's new, and even "the Jones family" isn't doing much that's new. In my corner of the world, spring tries to lift it's head periodically, but has it's efforts dashed regularly. Two weeks ago it was beautiful and warm one day, then it would snow again. Two days ago it was also beautiful, if a bit chilly... but yesterday it was windy and snowing, and today it's wet and dreary... by tomorrow it might be sunny and warm again though. The pups love it when that is true. I think they are more anxious for spring than I am, even.

The best news I can share is that we've had the most rain this year that I can remember, (a least during a winter) since we moved to this high desert valley in June of 1994. That bodes for a beautiful spring for us, but a seriously challenging summer danger, in regards to the fire season. Guess we'll have to see about that as the year moves on. Officially spring doesn't even arrive for a couple more weeks, but everyone I know is so anxious and wishing it would hurry up and get here, already! [chuckle] Aren't we a fickle bunch? We pray and pray and pray for rain and when we get it, we complain. (But not serious complaining... most people ARE really VERY glad for the rain we get...)

It's just that spring, and the beauty that goes with it is enticing, and we are anxious for the glory that IS spring, in our desert southwest. But we must wait, and so we do... and we try to think of new things to talk about, except the winter, and the rain, and the snow...

say hello...

2010-02-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

...to cold/flu bug #347, seriously, SERIOUSLY??? This is simply ridiculous! Even after airing out the house in the past few days, wiping down all surfaces faithfully, taking the dogs to the park, and breathing fresh air to clear out germs from my lungs, here I am, sick again.?

This winter's bug season has been the WORST for me in decades, I am so over it.

flowers from my sweetheart...

2010-02-19T17:00:00.002-07:00

...spread all over the house this morning before I arose, a spring bouquet of various daisies, greenery etc., and a sweet card to tell me that he is glad we met all those years ago...

Some years we celebrate Valentine's Day late or early, depending on hubby's work schedule. Today was OUR V-Day... We are blessed to be in love after more than 26 years. One thing I have learned over these years is that it is truly important not to pass up the opportunity to say in spoken and written word that you feel blessed, happy, loved, and grateful for the gift of marriage to your valentine... The days go by fast, and the opportunities may not always be there, if your delay.

I wish I had something more to say...

2010-02-16T17:00:00.001-07:00

...but life has been so tiring, and uninteresting.

I've spent the last weeks (6) with a cough and a variety of bacterial and viral bugs in my lungs and upper respiratory tract... I'd just get over one thing, and I'd get something else. It's been a long few weeks.

I am finally... just today feeling like I may be on the mend. I am so grateful. Maybe that is a good enough thing to say, I am grateful...

to quote...

2010-02-09T05:00:00.000-07:00

If you want happiness for a lifetime ~ help someone else.

~ Chinese proverb

...winter, so over it!

2010-02-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning at the Groundhog Day ceremony in western Pennsylvania, officially predicting six more weeks of winter. However in AZ we know that spring is just around the corner...

Yesterday hubby and I were talking about plans to take the puppies walking in some new places once things start to green up. (2-3 weeks?) Certainly in 4 weeks we will be having some really nice days, and the crocus will be starting to poke their heads out.

I plan to have my camera at the ready to get some nice "local green" shots for a change. We had to go all the way to Mesa last week to find any spring color. Chloe was totally confused at what the green grass on the grounds of our hotel was. hahaha

I am seeing light in a whole different way, through the eye of my camera. Foto-Friends told me I would, but it's hard to understand when you've never really done much "real" photography. Point and shoot just does not count, I am learning.

It's a fun hobby and I am figuring out what all the fuss has been about all these years. Still I am glad I waited for digital, I could NEVER have afforded the cost of processing all the pictures I delete. ;-)

snow, wind, rain and more snow...

2010-01-23T06:00:00.005-07:00

We've been having some nasty weather here in the lovely Southwestern US. We live in the high desert, and contrary to popular understanding we DO get some snow (which is usually gone in less than a day, and I personally like it that way...) We get our share of rain, enough usually to keep desert flora and fauna alive, and we get a LOT of wind, because our high desert valley is, for the most part, a huge expanse between the mountain ranges. In fact, WIND is something you just have to learn to live with, if you are going to live in any part of the beautiful SW.

Having started with that description, the last week has been kind of crazy, weather wise, around here. On Monday and Tuesday the weather was typical, sunny, a bit nippy, breezy, and clear... simply put, it was BEAUTIFUL. So while out running some essential errands with hubby, we took a very quick detour to a lake close by, so that I could load up my camera with pictures of some beautiful scenery and stunning close-ups of AZ beauty... (without getting in a car, because not only am I still sick and coughing, I really don't want to get on the roads in bad weather...) I barely left the vehicle, but it was nice to focus my camera's eye on the lovely vistas that make up our corner of the world. I had fun just snapping scenery while we were moving very fast along the highway.

Then, everything changed. It was as though the whole of AZ was magically transported to another part of the country. Over the next 3 nights we were hit by back to back storm systems that brought tons of very cold precipitation... Flooding, road closures, mud, rock, and snow slides are happening more and more each day since the weather change. Each morning for days, people unaccustomed to it ~ have been waking to white lanscapes and treacherous roads to maneuver. Schools had to close because we don't have the equipment necessary to clear even the main roads fast enough to assure safety for the children. Local colleges closed for the same reason, and ~ or because crossing the campus was dangerous to healthy limbs walking on shoes not meant for snow and ice covered concrete. Fender benders and vehicles slide offs have become the sad reality for too many local motorists... A couple of days ago some roofs collapsed in a town 90 miles northeast of us. It's just in many ways so nasty, and something most people here see a lot less often than in other places. So, it's something to "write home about"... Even though we ARE grateful for the precipitation, HONEST, it's time for us to be returned to our lovely normal weather conditions.

Of course during this tme period, there was also the joy of "snow days" for students and teachers, who got time off to play... and there is the beauty of the moment, when the white landscape is so pleasing to the eye... I caught some of that beauty around my part of our small community and also added those pictures to my project 365, if you are interested they will be posting over the next few days.

So when I woke up this morning to even more snow, I wasn't shocked... I'm just ready for our milder AZ weather to return to us, and soon please... I have it from some reliable sources that Oregon and Washington have been enjoying our normal weather this week, but as much as I love you guys... we want it BACK..! ha ha ha

...mine!

2010-01-20T08:00:00.002-07:00

The fine art of toy take away has been learned in our house... hahaha

Tucker was an "only dog" for a really long time (3+ years). I mean, that is a long time in dog years... and I worried that he would resent the new puppy. But he and Chloe have great fun playing. In fact HE is like a completely different dog. He's very willing to share food, water, and toys... and even a rousing game of tug is only fun until the other stops...

Then, they play "chase"... the stampede is sometimes DEAFENING... LOL

...a walk in the crisp winter air.

2010-01-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

I got to spend yesterday, all day with hubby, grocery shopping, running errands, and then strolling though the outer grounds of a Museum so that I could fill up the card with pictures that I might be able to use for my project 365... (I have truly exhausted my indoor opportunities at home for a while... LOL) and out of dozens of pictures I found only 5 that made the grade...

It was such a lovely day and my camera just HAD to take some pictures of "us"...

These don't fit my plans for my project, and I post them here for friend and family that don't "facebook".

...amendment on the photo journal idea

2010-01-05T05:00:00.003-07:00

After a few more email exchanges over the last couple days with some wonderful friends (especially "Phyllis",) and extra encouragement from friends on facebook I have decided to "try" and keep up with the BIGGER project after all... However since it will be so many days of photos, I am starting a new blog for it. I'm calling it:

project 365 pollyanna style...

If you would like to join me, and create your own project, please send me a link to your photos/blog too. I am also backdating a few posts and including more photos from the last few days, so that the blog starts on January 1st. This just makes it easier for me to track where I am in this quest. A link for the project will stay available on the side menu of this main blog.

Thanks to all my friends (and again, especially to Phil) for encouraging me to step outside my comfort zone and try to do this... It should certainly be interesting, for me.

a photo journal...

2010-01-04T05:00:00.003-07:00

My friend that is really into landscape photography (as in semi-pro, in southeastern Utah,) on finding out that I got a cool new camera at Christmas, suggested that I post one new picture every day... I gather from what she said this is called a "Project 365". My first thought? 365 pictures in the same # of days? Geez, that's like a picture a day for a year. No way Phyllis Diller.! (I jokingly call her that, because her name starts with Phil... and she and I go WAY back, and it's well, a JOKE... She looks nothing like Phyllis Diller, more like a very young and pretty Donna Reed if you ask me. But that is beside the point...) That's way too dedicated for this slacker, dear friend!

Having said that Phil, darling... I "will" try for 52 pix in one year... That would be relatively, one picture a week. Still, I won't promise to post these pictures on the same day each week... and if I miss a week I will TRY to catch up by posting two the next week... BUT... NO PROMISES. Period.! Do you understand, dearheart? And NO guilt, you hear? hahahahaha You know I love ya', but seriously Phil, I am simply NOT a photographer, and you can't use the "but you have that cool camera that you simply need to use", card... OK? I KNOW have a phenomenal camera now, but you need to remember that my youngest is much better (and I mean SERIOUSLY, much better,) at using it right now, than "I" may ever be...

There... Now that the ground rules are laid out, here goes:

EDITED: because of a change in plans... see my Jan 5th 2010 post. This picture has been moved to a new blog.

...the perfect ten?

2010-01-01T08:00:00.002-07:00

...it'll never happen... No year will ever be a perfect ten.

So, then the trick is to make each day into a perfect 10 or maybe just an "almost 10". At the end of those kinds of years you can look at it and think: wow, great year..!

I just had one of those years... wasn't perfect, wasn't even good or terrific some days... but over all, it was a great year. And because I know me, and hubby, and I know the rest of my family... this coming year will be an "almost 10 year" again... Be assured we'll have huge challenges, and irritating setbacks, and maybe even a few knee bending emergencies... but... at the end of this coming year we will be able to look back and see all the good moments.

I am so completely blessed to be a part of a family that lives life that way. It's a "new canvas for a year of joy to paint" for us. I can't remember where I read that, but it fits~!

goals...

2009-12-31T07:00:00.004-07:00

I have plenty of goals every year, most involve personal improvement... but I don't really make "New Year Resolutions", because it seems too arbitrary to start everything on Jan 1st, just to generally fail. I start and review my goals all year long, and that works for me.

One thing I do find, that often helps me to keep a goal, is that when I share it, I become more invested. So, one goal I would like to share is to train for the equivalent walking of a 10K, on my elliptical. That may not sound like much to some people, but for someone with limited mobility, it's a huge goal.

My max ever (walking on my elliptical unit) is 10100 steps. That is just over 5 miles. (According to my reading the average person my height steps about 2000 times during one mile.) And, a 10K is 6.2 miles.

During 2009 I had a goal to use my elliptical to get to 10000 steps per day. It's so easy to track, but because of my limitations that means more than 2 hours of walking every day, on average. (Even on the elliptical I walk pretty slow...) So my true target number of steps has ended up being about 4500-5000 a day (somewhere between 2-2.5 miles). That's about an hour on the elliptical (but a lot of days I can only manage about 45 minutes, which ends up being just under 4000 steps/2 miles). Added to my other steps, that's not too bad, for me. The main benefit in walking every day is to keep me mobile, to feel better, to lose weight, and to release toxins... did I mention to stay MOBILE...?

Since my hyste last February I have slowly built my way back up to where I was before becoming extremely anemic, hubby's accident and then my surgery. During this coming year, I feel like I want a different goal, something to keep working for. Something besides just walking every day... I am doing pretty good with that, and I am not sure I will ever be able to walk fast enough to manage 10K steps a day... So I thought, "what about an actual 10 kilometer in non-impact steps...?"

Ok, so there is it... by March first I want to have walked an approx 10K... In order to make it easy for me to track, I am going to use the target of 12500 steps... just to be sure I don't short the 10K goal.

Here's hopin' I make it.! If I do... maybe I will try doing it once a month for the rest of the year.? Who knows? I do know it's good to have goals. Now I better get walking for today...

to quote...

2009-12-30T07:00:00.001-07:00

~ Spencer W. Kimball, "A Gift of Gratitude", Dec 1977

"Let us remember, too, that greatness is not always a matter of the scale of one’s life, but of the quality of one’s life. True greatness is not always tied to the scope of our tasks, but to the quality of how we carry out our tasks whatever they are. In that attitude, let us give our time, ourselves, and our talents to the things that really matter now, things which will still matter a thousand years from now."

Today, I really needed to be reminded of this... I can already tell it's going to be a rough day, and the scope of my daily effort sometimes can seem very small to me on days like this. That is when I desperately need to remember that the sum (scope) of my life is greater than one single, painful day...

...on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day...

2009-12-27T07:00:00.004-07:00

...well, OUR Christmas day, when we celebrated as a family anyway...

I did manage to get a few pictures, but since I ended up opening my camera last... the gift opening part was all over... still I will share some of the fun we had. One of the nice things I find about being behind the camera is that there are few, if any, pictures of me... LOL

Here's our Princess, so happy... CHEESE!

Son2 and his girlfriend (let's give her a blog name, how about...Honey?) checking out their gifts from everyone...

Son1 and Sir Knight genuinely pleased with the gifts they got... AND watching their wives check out a special "family gift" our married children got...

Son1 and Sweetee. Smile.! "Merry Christmas mom... like that new camera, do ya'?" hahaha

Son2 and hubby discussing how Son2 can help me learn to USE my new camera... LOL

outside the big dogs were having a GREAT time... Son2 caught some good actions shots for us...

honest... they really love each other...

I got it... I said, "I" got it...

While indoors the small dogs watch their "pets" be silly... Martini thinks we get too excited over a few toys... I mean, you can't even throw those things...

This is Honey's little 7 month old 3/4 Chihuahua/1/4 Dachshund mix... "Nacho" wasn't impressed with the camera. haha I already shared some pics of my new puppy who is a 50/50 Chi/Doxie... and our Mighty Dog, Tucker stayed home to protect the castle... He really gets overwhelmed with ALL the family dogs in one area... there are SEVEN now. Yep, we're NUTS...!

Last but not least I will share a couple pictures of Son1 and Sweetee setting up their new family gift. Since they had to travel home later that day, Princess Bride and Sir Knight waited to get theirs out until they got home...

I missed the shot of the girls just making the empty beater go round and round... it was really fun to see how happy they were... We were so happy to have been able to manage the gifts we got all our children...

opening up the box... they've been wanting a KitchenAid since they got married... and we found a GREAT deal on these Heavy Duty Professional Series ones... It was a big surprise to both couples.

"Look mom, at how nice it sits on the counter. Oh, wow, look at all the stuff.!" Even though she has little counter space in her kitchen, Sweetee's comment was... "I love it, I'll find space.!!" ;-) And honestly, I absolutely LOVE surprising my kids with things they really want and that are practical too! For me that is the best of both worlds.!

This Christmas was not just full of great gifts though. It was full of sacrifice and love and sharing and giving from the heart. It was a lovely time of family unity and happy hearts. I personally had such a great time. I love you all..! Thanks to hubby and my beloved children for making the time to be "home together" this last time before Son1 & Sweetee head off across the country next year to start some "new adventures". But, more about THAT later...

loaded for bear...

2009-12-22T05:30:00.001-07:00

Once children get married and have a second family (or sometimes even more families) to celebrate their holidays with, IMO their immediate family needs to adjust how "they" celebrate important events together. This year yesterday was the day our family celebrated Christmas together. It was one of the FUNNEST days ever... An absolutely joyful time.

Since our family was exchanging gifts early this year, hubby decided he wanted to enjoy watching me play with mine while he was still off... so we opened ours to each other yesterday too, before he goes back to work for the next 4 nights, and in fact because of the holiday these nights may be quite grueling.

Anyway, my true love gave me a REALLY nice camera for my birthday and Christmas (and for what should be just about every other gift giving holiday for the next 10 years.!) So I'm just warning everyone to beware dear friends... I'm officially loaded for bear.! hahahahahaha

I also got a new puppy. Her name is Chloe, and she is simply the most adorable thing there ever was.

...during the gift exchange she slept in hubby's sweatshirt pocket... she's a little tiny thing, but truly with a GIANT personality!

...here she is wishing everyone would just let her sleep again... BTW, she really DOES play a lot... and she is so cute doing it. So just to prove that, here is a little video I took with my phone... I'm still learning how to use the camera, but it takes video too so I am sure I will be sharing all kinds of funstuff...

words to live by...

2009-12-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am only one...
But still I am one,
I cannot do everything...
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
~ Edward Everett Hale

...ssssweeeeeet...!!!

2009-12-16T06:00:00.008-07:00

I posted a little bit about this on FB already, I am sorry to those of you that have already read the Reader's Digest version there... but man... I just LOVE my life sometimes...

I LOVE being the mom of adult kids that are kind and loving... It is the BEST life has to offer, when you like and enjoy your children... Honest... I know my kids are not perfect... yes, we are like everyone else... we have our struggles... but I'm so far from perfect that it's easier on my ego anyway to have "normal" kids, I guess... LOL... And then, some days are just BETTER than normal... the only word to use... HALCYON... a slice of Heaven...

Yesterday was one of those - so close to a perfect days-, that I'd be hard pressed to find a better one in my reference... even accounting for the fact that we missed my cousin and uncle by only a few minutes at the care facility, because of traffic... and seeing my sweet little Aunt of 91 years struggling so hard to recover and gain strength after a fall several weeks ago... She was so loving as we visited while she let her lunch bites "settle"... She asked about MY family and recalled days to me of when I was a girl... I would stay at their home to hang out with cousins and play on their family farm on family trips from Idaho to Arizona... Such SWEET memories... so bitter sweet to see my mother's siblings grow older... and know that we will not have them with us much longer on this earth... I am so grateful for the loving family I was born into... and for a knowledge that families are forever...

I have been blessed to have so many great days in my life... good (ssssweeeet) days happen pretty often for me, in different ways... I've had many a nearly perfect day with Son1 and Sweetee in recent memory... I've had some pretty "fab" days with Son2 over the last few years...

Still, yesterday afternoon included one of those mother-daughter-times that don't come along everyday any more... because all kids grow up and leave home, to live their own lives, which is right and proper... having said that... I'm really learning to cherish each and every wonderful day with my kids... On this day, Princess Bride surprised us and joined us at the temple in the early afternoon, an unexpected joy... a great treat to be together in a place of such peace and feel so eternally bonded... and we had so much fun after dinner... for a while, just the two of us... (while hubby took a little nap and Sir Knight was getting ready/left for work). We spent a couple hours milling over her new cake decorating book, which she got from her Secret Santa gift exchange at work... She is really getting into cake decorating, with her sister in law, which is way cool, because her maternal grandma did that... (guess that particular gene skipped a generation... ha ha) It was such a nice gift from someone that hardly knows her, but took the time to investigate what she likes...

I also have to thank hubby for being my BEST friend at ALL times... my heart and soul... and my confidant... for putting up with doing all the driving... doing what I want to do all day on one of his precious days off... and then on top of that, listening to my chatter when I am happy as a magpie... LOL... If you "know" hubby, you KNOW that last part is NOT something that comes naturally for him... he would rather have his nose in a book, be sitting in a forest alone, or wandering a canyon as a hermit... LOL... but he is so great, and he only rarely gave any indication that he "wasn't" having as good a time as I was yesterday... maybe he was...??? Nah... but he is a super good sport and he loves me so much, he's happy to just be with me too, even if he'd "rather be sailing"... LOL...

a few reminders of Christmas...

2009-12-13T06:30:00.004-07:00

It used to be, when many of us were children, that right before Thanksgiving... the Christmas decor started to be increasingly present in the stores... as a very young girl I remember my father grumbling a bit that we didn't really get a chance to celebrate that holiday without the stores rushing us on to Christmas... Daddy loved Thanksgiving, and he loved Christmas... he didn't want to rush either holiday... I am a lot like him in that respect...

That push starts in September now... this year I saw Christmas decorations in stores over Labor Day weekend... That doesn't bother me as much as it used to... While personally I dislike the over-commercialization of Christmas, I understand that stores are in the business of making money, so I allow them to do what they feel they must, to stay in business... however, I turn a blind eye to what I don't want to see as far as advertising... I am getting good at that... 8-) I suppose it's only a matter of time until we have decorations available to buy in stores year round... though I am not sure why that is necessary... one can already do that online...

However my treasure was found this year in a box of really OLD decorations... They are probably older than I am... momma sent them to me the year I was married... we didn't have money to buy ornaments for our tree... and I still remember sobbing with joy as I hung them on that first tree and remembering them on our family tree when I was a very little girl... It was a precious gift... When my children were little we never used these ornaments, because I was afraid they would get broken... This year I am using those ornaments on my tree, and sharing pictures with YOU...

I really enjoy my memories of the Friday after Thanksgiving for some very fun reasons... (I RARELY shop on that day, and I practically refuse to call it BLACK Friday...) When "I" was growing up, that was the day we got our Christmas Tree each year... We used to go to a tree farm not far from our home in North/Central California and cut it down... Daddy would secure it in a stand and during the next couple days we would decorated it... Some years mom decorated with a theme, that we later jokingly called the "pepto-tree". It was completely white with flocking momma sprayed on herself... and had all PINK ornaments on it... satin balls and pink and gold ice cream cones... Really, it's hard to describe/imagine... and I can't find any pictures to scan in... But, many times over the years since I have thought that her pink decorated trees would have a perfect breast cancer awareness tree... :-) Momma was ahead of her time...

I was just a little sad when momma got an artificial tree the year I turned 16, but it was nice to have the tree still alive with lights on Christmas day... and we always decorated it the day after Thanksgiving once the artificial tree was bought...

When I got married and started my own traditions I learned right at first that hubby is allergic to pine trees, so we bought a very cheap artificial tree... It was 2 feet tall... Over the years, we usually put up our tree up the first week of December... in the early days I did most of the decorating alone... but as our family grew the kids helped... Those were fun years.

The last couple years I have gone back to having a small tree... a big one is just too much for me to handle decorating alone, and hubby is not into decorating... This year we also have a new wreath for the front door thanks to our daughter in law's ingenuity... It's very simple, and I love it... aren't the holly berries pretty...?

Yesterday the Nativity went up... Momma made each of her children, herself, and her own mother one of these Nativities, many years ago... She painted each one with great detail and love... all 10 sets were very much alike!!!

Using some "cellular" creativity (because my little point and shoot camera went AWOL while on loan out to our princess a couple months ago... that's not really a big deal... I believe Santa has a camera on his list for me this year...) I thought I would share a few reminders of my past and present Christmases, as captured in a few quick photos of our decorations, I edited them with iPhoto... you gotta LOVE computers sometimes... they make a pretty decent photographer even out of a complete amateur like me...

For lack of a better place to hang out... the angel that watches over the scene on display, of the birth of the Savior of the World, this year is doing her job from the lamp switch...

She is a diligent angel... while, Baby Jesus occupies his usual place of honor at the center of animals, wise men, shepherds and a loving Mary and Joseph... As always setting up the Nativity brought to my mind past Christmases when our children helped to gently unwrap and then smooth the tissue paper that the pieces were wrapped in, storing that wrapping back in the box for later... Often we had to settle disputes over who would get to place the baby Jesus in place... back then I felt irritated, but now I smile at the memory... And I thought to myself this year that in each home around the world the decorations we cherish each Christmas are more than just special... they help bring the true meaning of the season with them.

This Christmas I find myself wanting to identify new ways to bring the Love of the Savior into my family's hearts and celebrations... Remembering simple and caring acts of service over the year has helped me a lot in this quest... and thinking about my years with momma and daddy is also a sweet joy that reminds me that Christmas more than just those decorations...

There is something good about decorating... I do it more slowly every year... but I also find that I savor it more with each memory...

...here it is, the last month of another year... again...

2009-12-02T05:00:00.002-07:00

When last year we were dealing with the aftermath of hubby's accident the days ahead seemed a bit bleak and I kept thinking, "THIS is going to be a long year..." But reality has a way of surprising me just about every day.

I love Thanksgiving, because it reminds me to stop and remember how blessed I am... and while I am trying to do that more in my life as a rule... like most people I seem to need a reason to focus on my blessings... and then, there is Christmas... the holiday that I associate with good memories, days spent with family and friends... Often those memories kinda' blur together, but they are a great thing to stir to life in my heart...

When I was a kid most years at least some of my siblings would bring their families home for Christmas... we were a big group, and now we all have our own families and traditions... My parents are gone and so we don't need to plan trips to see them around holidays... now we plan ways to get our own children together... but mostly we are learning to let go of our holiday traditions and step back a bit to watch our adult children as they build their own... That in itself is a rewarding thing...

I am pleased and amazed at the traditions our kids choose to keep from their childhoods and sometimes have a big grin on my face over what new traditions they create for their own families... In my mind a family is created the day a couple marries, so after that the most important traditions they have are together... in their homes, families, lives...

This is not a lonely endeavor... they do not forget us... but it is a time when we all have a chance to expand our traditions and make a few new ones... Gone are the days for us of driving around with little ones in car seats to look at lights, but my kids still do that in their own ways... and sometimes they ask us to go along... Gone are the days of excited whispers at our bedroom at first light, as small voices ask if it's time to see what Santa brought... These days we get to sleep in and this year I think we will start a new tradition, for just the two of us on Christmas morning... I am not quite sure yet what that will be, but I know that it will be great, because WE (hubby and I) are great together...

We always have a family gift exchange, but this year we even changed how we do that, because the kids wanted to draw names and put the individual names in a hat (except we used a bowl,) and that was fun... They drew the names on Thanksgiving day... Maybe they will do it a little earlier next year... but it feels right to me to adjust our traditions to fit the way the family has changed...

We have no grandchildren yet, at least not "official ones" and our adopted grands live far away now... so there are few little toys to buy... We've enjoyed giving to a local angel tree the last few years... that is a nice tradition... and gives us a chance to keep buying toys for a couple little hearts...

For me, Christmas is about acts of love and service... it's not about what to buy, or how much to spend... we do buy gifts, and now we try to give our married children things they need... sometimes we make gifts... but in the realm of receiving we love the ones that our kids give us that reflect giving of themselves... in fact this year that is what we have asked for, from them...

I love this time of year... I love the music and the crisp days... I love the feelings of gratitude in my own heart... I don't like the crowds, so I tend to avoid places were those are bad... But I love to see the cheerful lights that illuminate the square in town, and I like having the smells I associate with the holidays filling our home...

This year, Christmas day will probably be the quietest we have ever known... but I am warmed by the happy thought of knowing that my children are building their own traditions, and enjoying their own family's "Christmas mornings"... That is a good thing... I remember my own mom telling me that the only parents that truly hated empty nests were the ones with lots of regrets...

I guess I have a lot fewer regrets than most, because I am kinda' liking my empty nest... even during the holidays...

to quote...

2009-11-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

--Henry B. Eyring
"You make choices every day and almost every hour that keep you walking in the light or moving away toward darkness. Some of the most important choices are about what you set your heart upon." Walk in the Light, Ensign, May 2008, 123–25

On our 26th anniversary...

2009-11-05T05:00:00.007-07:00

26 reasons I am so glad I married my fabulous hubby:

1) his kids are the other important people in his life...
2) he has taken care of me when I am sick, too many times to count... (as a nurse it must really be lousy to have to do so much caring for someone else, off shift...)
3) he's emotionally and physically faithful, and trusts me implicitly to be the same.
4) he does not make me listen to "his" music in "his" car...
5) he thinks the BEST of everyone he knows... no I mean really... this is not an act.
6) he will eat anything I put in front of him, and like it...
7) he works hard, not just for us, but he works so hard in his employer's behalf...
8) his foot massage technique is to die for...
9) he tells me all the time... "love you bunches"...
10) he brings me flowers just because he loves me, and for no other reason at all...
11) he doesn't buy me gifts I will never use...
12) he remembers important days... better than I do sometimes...
13) he knows how to, and will ~ without being asked... do laundry, dishes AND bathrooms...
14) he sometimes takes "short-cuts" (sorry if you don't understand that one... family joke...)
15) he was/is my handsome prince...
16) he cooks! (well)
17) he knows bizarre facts...
18) he shares with me...
19) he plays cute with the dog... actually, it would be truer to say he plays LIKE the dog...
20) he likes the same restaurants I do...
21) he gave me: Son1,
22) Princess Bride,
23) & Son2...
24) he likes to hold hands... a lot...
25) he is really smart... and not just book smart...
26) he happily married me twice--once for life, and once for always...

...happy love month, everyone...

2009-11-01T05:00:00.002-07:00

It's November... which means it's "our month" again... I am hoping that this year we won't have any accidents as part of our life together... ;-)

For anyone that doesn't have anything to celebrate in November celebrate our love month with us... Here are some suggestions of things we do as a couple that we highly recommend...

canasta (or other card games)
puzzles (and other board games)
lunches (or dinners) out OR in
work on the house
hold hands
cuddle like newlyweds
study the scriptures
talk about everything
pray together for blessings, in life, marriage and for loved ones

All of these activities can and will help with your relationship too... I promise... They are just a few of our "secrets"...

....going, going... gone...

2009-10-28T05:17:00.000-07:00

October is a blurrrrr...

I spent too much time this month feeling less than ok. Despite that, hubby and I managed to get almost 3 walls painted in the family room... We also got the room rearranged... I really like the new layout. I am expecting we will be able to get the last of the wall painting done before the end of the first week in November. That's off our original schedule by about a month... dang! Oh well, plugging along still gets the work done.

We made the decision to postponed hubby's vacation time he always takes each year to celebrate our anniversary, to the week before Thanksgiving... There are a couple reasons for this change... First we are going to spend our time at home working on the house instead of going somewhere together, like we often do... We really needed to put the money we set aside, on the house... And second, I don't feel like I really have the energy to travel right now... my body is in recovery mode already, and I know better than to push when I don't have to... That is just asking for trouble, with my health history...

We have some fun plans for our week together though, it won't all be work... (though we do like working together...) Not to mention, we will be shutting off our phones... so that we can concentrate on US... It will be a great week, that will include Thanksgiving day, and we are looking forward to the time together.

And now... it's time to get back to painting...

more of the same...

2009-09-25T05:00:00.004-07:00

And here I was doing so well there for a while...

I have been sick the last couple weeks... a really "strange headache and my normal low grade flare-type fevers... then I think I got a bug that has been going around too...

All in all I have just felt icky... and I am SO ready to feel better again.

I have only managed to get a bit of the family room painted so far this month, and my plan was to be done with it by now... fortunately hubby is back to normal hours/days at work, and so I am hoping that means we can get a few of these things we want to finish done...

Still... I am super content, because I have learned over the years to take advantage of what I do have... Because I was feeling punk I started doing a little online family history and I managed to find some wonderful genealogy links over the last few days (I was compensating for feeling bad by doing some family history research...) And, I connected our surname line with research from someone else... I am so happy about that, because this line has been stuck for more than 5 years...!!!

Today I am still not feeling wonderful, but I know I will be better soon... I always pull out eventually... and I am grateful for small miracles, like finding more eternal family connections while I am waiting for that "better time"...

the kitchen painting is done...

2009-08-28T05:00:00.004-07:00

Here are a few pictures of how the kitchen looks, before/after... However these picture are taken after the walls were painted... so they aren't really a total before... The original walls were a papered wallboard stuff that was floral and I never really liked it, but I lived with it for 15 years... it was definitely time for a new look!!! As you walk into the kitchen from the dining room this is the left side, where the stove is...

Here is the pantry area... Ugly, huh???

Below is a picture of the the center of the kitchen, while we were working on the island... We added a layer of bead board over the top of the flimsy cabinet facing... The box itself was made well, but the cabinet facing felt so lightweight on it... Doing this not only made the island feel more stable, but after we painted it, it looks so beautiful~!

Below you can see the right hand side of the kitchen after all the cabinet painting was done... you can also see the top of the island in the center, after we got the counter back on... You can see that the island is a darker coordinated color to the other cabinets... and we plan to put a butcher block counter top on the island soon...

Here is the left hand side of the kitchen, and as you can see I used the dark color that was used for the island on the pantry doors... I love the way it looks... We still have counter tops and floors to do down the road... but the kitchen is so much lighter and I really enjoy being in there...

traveling...

2009-08-11T09:00:00.004-07:00

I am taking a little break from house renovations... Tomorrow I will be headed over to the White Mountains to visit with some family on mom's side...

I also took part of the weekend off from painting to play with our Princess and her hubby... We got together with the other kids too for desert on Sunday evening... it was fun to see the kids and catch up...

Princess and I did some some shopping with Sir Knight in tow, and took care of a few other things we hadn't planned... didn't do some of the things we had planned and really enjoyed being together... I love my baby girl... and it's so great to have them come and see us... They brought their dogs, and it's always an adventure to have 4 dogs in one house... he he...

I am looking forward to some more family time with some of my extended family, and I am grateful to a local friend for allowing me to hitch a ride over to the beautiful mountains of eastern AZ...

I've gone to Bora Bora in my mind...

2009-08-01T19:30:00.002-07:00

This is kind of a running joke with some friends (that are really more like sisters to me)... When life gets crazy, stressful, or boring we take a mental trip to the islands... If nothing else it's great to have a friend to unload on, and pretend to travel with...

Life around here was crazy in July... As I mentioned before our youngest son did not leave for Boot Camp as planned because of some last minute limitations and he is still trying to decide what he is going to do (whether to pursue the Marine idea or do other things with his life...) While he is deciding this he has chosen to live with friends not in his old room... he wants to be on his own, and I understand that... I am ready for him to be away from me more too... We just don't agree with his method of independence...

When he was leaving before I posted a blog entry about my feelings on the day he was to ship... but then removed it because I wasn't sure how he would feel if he saw it... After some more thought I am putting it back up (edited a bit, so as not to focus on the Marine angle...) because the things I wrote about HIM are still true, whether he becomes a Marine or not... so you can read about that wonderful kid of mine below, and see pics of him growing up... He IS a wonderful kid... if somewhat mixed up at times...

I am still cleaning, painting, and renovating the kitchen and most days it feels like I will never be DONE... but I chew away at the tasks in 15 minute segments and I try not to overdo, by resting between the segments... Slow and steady will win my race... and I promise I will share some pictures of the finished kitchen later...

I really cannot believe that it is August... July was a good month, just really busy and a bit crazy...

my baby is grown up..

2009-07-31T05:00:00.003-07:00

...and he has left our home... It's a major milestone in our family... We are officially empty-nesters...

I was looking through old photos the first of this month of my family for our Princess Bride who wanted to share some photos of her and her brother on her blog... and I came across these... where have all the years gone???

Daddy, helping him learn to walk in February or March of 1991...

I kept sitting him down every time he tried it on his own

so he didn't "really" walk until late June...

His 1st birthday in May of 1991

when our boy made mud pies,

he really got into his work! (August 1991)

he's always liked guns... (but his mother hates them)

this is the BB-gun his uncle gave him and his brother

the picture was taken in August 2000...

in December 2001, on the way to California

for my dad's 90th birthday party..

Freshman ~ HS Cross Country September 2004

His nickname was "the Flash"

because that summer before he started HS,

he survived a lightning strike at BSA Summer Camp

this was taken in HS... Sophomore year

and this was taken a few weeks before his High School GRADUATION,
just one short year ago...

Here is one with him by a sunflower that

was growing wild in the back yard...

He was here doing some yard work for us the last few weeks...

BTW, he is over 6 ft tall... that is a HUGE sunflower...

we had two pop up back there...

I love my baby boy... I am proud that he was willing to SERVE our country, even when our country does not always serve it's people best... To stand up and defend an amazing country whose "politicians" could surely learn a bunch of things about love of country and regard for freedom from the men and women of the armed forces that protect them too... Even if things do not work out the way he wanted, I am grateful that was willing to give of himself and his life for something he believed was good... In the years to come, he will no doubt be asked to give of himself no matter what life has in store for him... in ways he cannot even imagine today...

He is a fine young man and he will do well in whatever he puts his heart into... but he will also always be MY baby boy... and I will always care about his happiness and safety... so my prayers rise heavenward each day, that he will be cradled in God's gentle and loving hands at all times... and that he will feel our love and support at all times though the months and years ahead of him when he may be far from us... away from our presence but not out hearts...

to quote...

2009-07-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

~Neal A. Maxwell

"As parenting declines, the need for policing increases. There will always be a shortage of police if there is a shortage of effective parents! Likewise, there will not be enough prisons if there are not enough good homes." Take Especial Care of Your Family, Ensign, May 1994, 88

July has been a busy month...

2009-07-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

...simply little time to do anything but work and rest... so I am going to post a slightly edited entry from my journal this morning...

I have been painting... well, cleaning, repairing and painting... I started in early June where I left off last year when the Princess got married... I got the half wall connecting the living room, dining room and kitchen repaired and painted, it has bugged me so much that wall especially was unfinished... I also got the kitchen painted and am about a 1/3 of the way done with painting the kitchen cabinets... (thanks to the help of a couple friends...)

Son2 had a set back in his plans to enter the Marines in early July... he is still weighing his options and may or may not still make that choice... He just doesn't know what he wants to do at this point... It is so hard to change gears after being “mom” for years and years, to step back and watch your adult children struggle alone through challenges... but that is part of life, isn't it??? And especially when they don't really want you to help very much, you have to step back...

Princess Bride and Sir Knight are doing very well... Working, and stable... How nice that is to say about your adult children... It's what we pray for as parents... Happiness and stability in our children's lives... Last week they found out that their bid on a house they really like was accepted... so they will very soon be in the process of jumping through hoops to comply with all the bank/lending requirements... LOL... (because the house they are buying is a short sale, there are a lot of levels to the process... so the time frame can take longer, and when they will actually get to sign the paperwork is still very much in the air... We are hoping for about 60 days...) We pray that all goes well for them and that they are soon in their new home which they have lots of plans for...

Son1 finished his first year of nursing classes and all pre-post requisites for next years classes... and now only has his last year of dedicated nursing classes to finish before graduation next May... we are very happy for him... he has done well, and his darling wife is a wonderful support to him... Son1 and Sweetee are well entrenched in their new home they bought last March and have been enjoying a wonderful, but very busy summer... you can read about them on their blog if you like... Sweetee will be teaching Kindergarden this coming year... the school year will be starting soon for her... We are so glad that they live close so that we can see them pretty often...

Hubby has been working long days... mostly regular shifts, but with few days off because they are short 2 nurses again, at his facility... He remains forever my wonderful and faithful, best friend... 26 years after meeting (26 years yesterday, was the first time we "met"...) we are still BEST friends... He's such a good man, he's fun, intelligent, exasperating when I least expect that, and interesting all the time... I am very grateful that he is a part of who I have become... We enjoy being together as much if not more than when we were dating... no matter if it is working, playing, talking or just resting... we can never get “too much” time together... We try to concentrate on cherishing the time that we do get, and I personally thank a benevolent and loving Heavenly Father for my wonderful hubby every day... I cannot say enough how much richness he brings to my life...

Are there more things to say??? Probably... but I sound sappy... so I think I will end here...

to quote...

2009-07-12T05:00:00.000-07:00

--Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"The more we treasure the words of the prophets and apply them the better we will recognize when we are drifting off course—even if only by a matter of a few degrees." A Matter of a Few Degrees, Ensign May 2008, 57–60

have a safe and happy 4th...

2009-07-02T07:00:00.002-07:00

and MORE...

This is the time of the year that we reflect on our country... our heritage and our freedoms... It is important that as americans we do that, probably more regularly than we are prone to... Lately I have been remembering that it is critical to us all that we do more than just reflect...

While you are thinking about our country's birthday, take a few minutes to review in your own life things that you could do to improve the world around you... (or your neighborhood, your home...) then when you find a few things... do them...!

I hope (and pray) that each of us will find ways to make more than just noise about being a good citizen... I hope we will take the time to BE good citizens... to be caring, truthful, law abiding, involved, and diligent... I hope that we will try to bring happiness to others, not just ourselves...

Soon my youngest son will join the ranks of this country's military and I have realized that for many years I have taken the sacrifices made to keep this land free for granted... Son2's choice to join the Marines has changed that for me in a big way...

I have also taken for granted my very blessed, physical world... but my guilt has reach it's peak and I can no longer sit on the sidelines and hope for good things to happen around me... I need to take it upon myself to, at the very least, improve the corner of the world I live in... I believe that by doing something each day of value and worth to someone besides myself that I will be keeping alive the principles this country was founded on...

We can all find ways to lift, inspire, defend, protect, enlighten, and improve our world... it starts with our corner... and our country... (which ever corner/country that is for you...)

to quote...

2009-06-29T05:00:00.002-07:00

~ Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

"Every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don't sing and bells don't ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result. -Come What May, and Love It," Ensign, Nov. 2008, 26"

lazy summer days...

2009-06-23T07:00:00.002-07:00

We have had beautiful weather in the last few weeks... cooler than normal, lovely clouds dancing across the skies in the afternoons... creating beautiful sunsets and fragrant breezes...

I get a few tasks done each day, but not even close to everything that needs doing. Still, I find myself feeling completely happy... and I am grateful today for lazy summer days... for a snug home and happy, healthy family...

...for life.

and the rockets red flares...

2009-06-15T21:00:00.005-07:00

...to misquote the anthem slightly, this line is true when you have a disease that flares... I suspect for any kind of disease, not just my disease...

It's not a lot of cool flashes and pretty lights to enjoy... it's more like the bombarding that the flag took when the song was written... bombs that are trying to knock your sturdy little flag pole down...

I feel like I am already down for the count... for this week, at least... I have fallen asleep 2 dozen times today, sitting up...

to quote...

2009-06-10T05:00:00.000-07:00

~ Elder David E Sorensen

"Remember that faith and obedience are still the answers, even when things go wrong, perhaps especially when things go wrong." Faith Is the Answer, May 2005 Ensign pg. 72

...BUSY week..!

2009-06-06T06:00:00.002-07:00

How is it possible my life gets busier every single week?

The last week has been so crazy busy... but productive and good... just so busy that I can hardly remember one that was less so... I got an amazing amount of stuff done, around the house and ticked off so many items off my "to do" list, that is REALLY good... and I am very glad to have more energy lately, but the week has flown by so fast it is a bit scary...

Here it is another Saturday morning with too many thing on my list to do and not enough hours in the day... I have tried to be careful not to push myself faster than I should... putting myself into a energy tailspin is not a good thing and I have learned over the years (and tears) to pace myself very carefully when I feel good...

A list helps me a lot, because I can focus on ONE thing for 15-30 minutes and then... rest... repeat... all through the day... The list helps me see progress (as I am able to check things off and keeps me on target with the next task when I am ready to resume... It is nice to be back to the point again where I see progress more that regression... It has been almost a year since I was feeling this well...

I am REALLY happy with how much I have been able to get accomplished just lately, but I am noticing that my list gets longer every day, instead of shorter... how is that possible...??? he he... oh yeah... LIFE!

The Noble Calling of Parents

2009-06-01T07:00:00.003-07:00

...from Chapter 16 of Teachings of Presidents of the Church: David O. McKay, pg 153

The greatest trust that can come to a man and woman is the placing in their keeping the life of a little child.

Recently this topic has been on my mine a lot... I don't mean to slight anyone that does not have children... I have friends who have never been traditional parents that have nevertheless been a tremendous influence for good in my children's lives, and whom I am grateful could step into my roll if the need arose... it's just that I feel the weight of this burden more than ever as my youngest is soon to fly on wings of independence from our home... I keep asking myself... Did I get it mostly right??? Is the foundation we tried to lay solid enough??? If I wasn't there for my children to come to tomorrow, would they feel a void in their life as I do with the loss of my own mother???

I really do not worry that my children don't love me... I KNOW they do, they show me regularly that they love both hubby and I as their parent by word and deed... and that they miss us [their parents] when we are separated... this is simply a time of self refection as I move into a new area of life... I think a lot of parents must ask similar questions of themselves as their children leave the nest, and learn to fly with their very own wings, to use that prevailing imagery... and I don't suppose I will know the answers until we are all done with this life and we are able to see through the eyes of complete understanding...

I am looking forward to this new time of "empty nesting" that is coming to us... I don't wish my children away, but I feel we have earned this time of happy times with fewer demands on our home time. We can concentrate on each other more, without having to feel guilty that we are spending time away from children that need us too... It's a good thing to move on with seasons of life... I believe we are ready for it...

...but still I wonder... How did we do???

more exercise... and spring reflections...

2009-05-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

I am doing well with my exercise/walking goals... the elliptical machine that we have makes it easy for me to walk in any weather... and as I think I have mentioned before, for me it is also idea because when I hit my limit I can just get off the machine and be finished... I don't have to still get home from a walk that I over estimated my strength for... like I do if I am walking in the neighborhood and my energy runs out... Also, I still can't walk for any long distances on terra firma, because of the stress that puts on my body at the point of repeated impact... I can simply walk for a much longer time on the elliptical, and up to my limit any given day... so it makes sense to exercise on it... I will admit a little wistfully though, that walking outdoors in the lovely spring weather we have been having would be awfully nice...

I have been enjoying the beauty of our spring in other ways... sitting on the porch with MightyDog and watching some distant clouds roll along the far off mountain ranges... sometimes there was even a little lightening gathered in those mountains and I see natural beauty and wonder of those storms... We have had some unusually gentle rainy days during which I could open the windows and listen to the raindrop as I took care of whatever chore I was in the middle of snug inside our home... It has been a really beautiful spring so far... and my allergies have been almost none existent... for me, a huge blessing... (unfortunately hubby has not been so fortunate... his allergies have been terrible this year...)

So here it is on another glorious spring day I am forever grateful for the simple joy of sharing time with family... I have enjoyed many beautiful days throughout my life and recently... with various groups of family around me... sometimes during the last few months the whole family has been able to gather... other times there has just been one or two family members involved in an activity, but each time I spend time with hubby and/or my children I feel so blessed and happy...

I note that May is almost gone... I can hardly countenance all the memories that have gone by in the past year... last year during this week of May, we were actually on a cruise, in Alaska... celebrating 25 wonderful, happy, years of love and marriage... We had been working very hard to repair and renovate our home and had very recently celebrated the second marriage in less than 5 months, of our beautiful daughter...

This year we are spending large chunks of our budget to pay off medical debts, instead of weddings, home improvements and anniversary fun... but the one thing that stays constant in my life is the joy and love of family, the blessing of a wise and loving Heavenly Father, and gratitude for understanding of what is important... once again thinking in the quiet early morning hours that life is quite GRAND...

to quote...

2009-05-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

~an unknown source

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to slide in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming "HOLY COW, what a ride!"

the joy of monotony...

2009-05-21T07:00:00.002-07:00

Life moves whether we want it to or not... it just does. I am glad for that always, but I was thinking that sometimes it is nice to feel like you don't have to be pushing... does that make sense?

Life for our house is moving along... all the kiddos are doing well... at least there are no major issues hitting anyone... and a bit of UN-bored stability feels really nice...

motherhood...

2009-05-09T06:00:00.006-07:00

I remember when my children were babies, I thought motherhood was so hard... or at least it was a lot harder than I thought it would be when I was single or a young married woman wanting so much to BE a mother... I had grand and glorious ideas of what motherhood was, and how perfect I would preform my duties as a mother... my ideas were fueled a lot by the seemingly effortless example of my own mother, who was the complete super-mom everyone dreams of being... I had so much to learn... and I know that I still do have an awful lot to learn about being a mother... But I am getting a little better each year at seeing motherhood as a growth process and not a final destination...

Just lately I have realized in a very dynamic way that no matter what stage of motherhood you are in... waiting for children, mothering young children, mothering teenaged children, or mothering adult children it is almost never easy... it was no doubt never meant to be "easy"... for it is, I believe, through the experience of mothering and fathering children during our lives that we learn so much about the love our Heavenly Parents have for us...

I was not an easy child in my teen and young adult years for my own parents... I made choices that I know were hard for them... but they eventually saw me in a happy and faithful marriage with a wonderful man they loved like their own son... with children of my own and living a life that they saw as good... My mother's opinion is one I cherish actually... I am grateful that "she" saw me as a successful wife and mother... but I am not the mother she thought me to be in those years before she passed through the veil we call death... I get closer each year... but I am far from there... and mom was enough of a realist to know I was only getting there... as most mothers do... but she had such great faith in me... and I tried harder because of that faith...

Thinking back to our last years together as mother and daughter, my significant health issues were hard for momma to watch me go though, and she said many times that she wished that she could take them from me... That is the eternal nature of mothering, I suppose... We really want the BEST for our children... they will always be our "babies", in some ways... and we wish against hope that everything could be wonderful more than not...

When difficult times come to our children's lives it can be hard to bear... we each must go through experiences that will refine and temper us to be the kind of people we need to be once we get done living our lives here on earth... Each child and parent will experience scraped knees and bumps and bruises, both physically and emotionally all through their lives. Hopefully these journeys will be made with faith as a constant companion... It has been my experience that spiritual journeys often take us into areas that only we can travel even though we can receive support from many who love us, we must plug along on our own spiritual legs, as it were... and as a parent it is hard to stand aside and allow the process during the most difficult moments... as a child it is hard when your parents must travel the hard road of illness and near death... because it is hard to watch those you love in pain... you want to lift them in their sufferings...

We each have personal travels that only we can make... and often mothers, whose hearts are so tender when it comes to their children are relegated to the lonely position of watching the difficult travels from the sideline without any ability to help along that path, at least not in the way they would like to... Sometimes that is because mothers have learned to accept that children must make some journeys alone... and sometimes that is because our support is not accepted by a child... but either way it is a hard road as a parent to travel...

I am so very very glad to be a mother... to have the relationship I do with each of my children... those that I gave birth to, and those that I have been blessed to love as my own later in their lives... I wouldn't give up this path of mothering for anything... even when my heart has ached... the joys outweigh the sorrows by far... each of my children are a joy in my life and each takes up a spot and makes a difference in my heart that I cannot imagine not having a place for...

Though I am far from a great mother, I think I am a good mother... I know that I love deeply, each child, each heart that has been given or guided to me, to love and mother...

Motherhood has been good to me... I hope that someday it will be said that I was good to the cause of motherhood...

of birthdays, families, and fun...

2009-05-04T06:00:00.003-07:00

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

First of all... my definition of family is pretty large and broad... I know people that I consider "like" family that are not in the narrowest of definitions, family... those extensions of our family were not at the Son2's birthday celebration yesterday... but all the children born into our family and their spouses were together, in our clan's home, for this wonderful happy event...

It was a surprise... one that Son2 evidently didn't catch on to, even though there were many times over the last month of planning we were afraid he did... It was hard to keep the secret without flat out lying to him... I used a lot of phrases like... "I am not sure if..." and "whoever makes it..." since he knew I was making a big birthday meal for his big day and at one point he told me I didn't need to cook a big elaborate dinner just for 3 of us... he he he... Little did he know...

Our efforts were SOOOOO worth the joy and happiness that he shared with having all his siblings here... not to mention the family fun... Saturday evening Princess Bride, Sir Knight got in, in time to go with Son 2 to a movie with a couple of his long time friends... Dinner on Sunday included games after, with his siblings and in-laws and a LOT of laughing and teasing... How fun that ALWAYS is... We even had all the family dogs here together and they had a lot of fun too...

The meal was fabulously delicious... compliments again from some wonderful copy-cat recipes I found online... and amazingly similar to one of our favorite eating spots "Chipotle Mexican Grill"... We had it all, the rice, beans, grilled meat, veggies, lettuce, along with the many salsas, topping it all with guacamole and sour cream... choice of tortillas and how you wanted to add/stack your chosen ingredients... chips and more salsa if desired... Man was the food great... and we did almost all the cooking and prep work in the days before, so the meal was pretty easy to pull together and just lay out in a buffet style setting...

Desert was a birthday "brownie" served with ice cream and a birthday song to my baby boy who is not even close to being a baby any more... but will always be MY little boy... (in the same way I was always something of the little girl my mom knew when we were together...) A child's relationship with parents/siblings... family... is so individual and dynamic... always changing... it is such a marvel to me... and my love for my children grows and grows with each year even as it changes within the dynamics of life and experience... Their choices are of course not always the ones I would choose... but they are working out for themselves their own lives and doing a pretty great job of it, in my estimation, most of the time... They prove me wrong sometimes and I am reminded that experience is not often wasted...

Son2 is leaving in a couple months for boot camp... I have mentioned before that this was a surprising decision for us to hear... it is one we are becoming more accustomed to, and we are certainly proud of his desire to serve his country... As a Marine we will be limited to the amount of time we get to see him over the next few years... (all those HE calls family... which like me, is also pretty extensive...) Limited for what family events he gets to come home for... That is generally true when children leave home, no matter what the circumstance... be it college, a mission, work, or in Son2's case, military life... We will miss him... As his parents we hope he will always know and trust that truth... As much as we know that he needs to be on his own and much as we respect that each of our children need their own lives away from us, this time has come amazingly fast... suddenly almost it will be just the 2 of us again... and there is a part of me that knows life will be just a bit empty once all the chicks have flown...

Though I am finding new adventures to fill my time with as well... [and hubby and I are best friends so it is not a hard sell to spend time together...] my husband and children... my immediate family... will always be the central focus and most important part of who I show my greatest love, support and loyalty to... It is easy to also share my heart and love with others... to share all kinds of experiences with extended family and those that become like family, through deep faith, friendship and challenges... But that core... that "part" of me that is heart-string-tied together through the a lifetime of joys and sometimes bitter tears or fear and grief... who are connected to each other by the bonds of love, blood and marriage, is not ever going to be less important to me than they are right now... As individuals we are none of us even close to perfect, we know that... but as a family unit we are so much greater and stronger as a whole... so good together as a group... That family love grows stronger each time we make an effort to build on it's base... what an amazing gift that is...

Last evening as we laughed, talked and teased each other, I thought about those concepts to myself... regarding happiness, and eternal love... I thought again that, of course families go on forever... they simply HAVE to... and my heart and soul are absolutely sure of that truth the older I get, the more faith I have in that principle... I feel so blessed to have the whole family I do... and blessed to have the hubby and children I do, especially... and also blessed to have a vision of the future and what it can be... perhaps, hopefully... forever...

it's May Day...

2009-05-01T06:00:00.001-07:00

When I was a girl we celebrated May Day... I remember May Poles and flower baskets at school and planting seed packets in the flower beds in front of the house with mom...

I remember my older kids celebrating May Day at school when we lived in Utah... but once we moved to Arizona I can't remember any celebrations... I wonder if that is because the desert is so different when it comes to seasons... When they were little we planted a few wild flowers each year... Those days of childhood joys are over with my kiddos, they are all grown up and have moved on to their own lives... but it is nice on this beautiful spring Friday to remember May Days of the past...

And to remember that it's May Day... I thought it would be fun to send a some flowers out to loved ones everywhere!

a few thoughts on food in today's economy...

2009-04-30T08:00:00.006-07:00

Lately I have been doing plenty of reading, and when I read online it is often on my kindle... less eye strain and I actually prefer mobile layouts without all the garbage ads I have to put up with while online, on my computer. Even Facebook is better too look at on my kindle, without all the "stuff"...

One article I read this morning from a Seattle newspaper focused on companies like Starbucks that have seen a huge drop in sales over the last year... they appear to be closing stores this year faster than they used to open them. I never really understood the "wooohooo" about them anyway, not being a coffee drinker and not willing to pay what they charge for a mediocre cup of hot chocolate... But anyway, that wasn't my point... they are not the only specialty business that is having major "rethink it" moments... There are a ton of companies built up over the last 10 years that were designed to be narrowly specialized to a specific market, and they are finding it very hard to survive right now.

Another thing I was reading is that restaurants all over are being forced to change the way they operate, especially the big chains... This is a good thing, if you ask me... Not that we eat out a lot, but the places we did like just kept getting more and more outrageous in their pricing and consumer practices... That trend is changing... I don't mind paying .50 for an extra plate when hubby and I share a meal... (we do that often... in fact most of the time...) But it REALLY bugs me to be charged a "non-drink surcharge" too, when we order water w/lemon at a restaurant where we are sharing a meal...

I have started to frequent more and more "copy-cat" recipe websites and making meals at home when we want something special, on a date night... and I am evidently NOT alone in my approach... Restaurant revenues are down the MOST in the last year, over any other market, at least that is what I am beginning to believe, from the articles I have read... So restaurants are starting to re-learn what they had forgotten... Value and service to customers are important...

Lastly I have been doing some revamping the way we cook, because my family is almost all grown and we were not eating big meals together every often... Following the example of some articles on still cooking big but then freezing parts of our meals for later use, we are not only eating simpler and more healthy, we spend less time cooking the main meals and more time enjoying tasty dinner time adventures together... some things, like fresh bread just tastes better... so I am developing my own way of freezing the dough we like best, so that we can pull it out and cook on demand. It is fun to spend some of our time doing this together on hubby's nights off, and it's a new take on a "date"... Hubby likes having stuff he can pull out for his meals at work that are easy and taste good and I like having a healthy normal serving I can pull out of the freezer and re-heat also when I am alone to eat I don't have to cook...

I find am eating more salads and quick veggie meals, too... But oh MY, we are going to be enjoying rice and bean dishes more and more as I an finding a LOT of new ways to cook and serve both of those items, which come right out of our food storage... So, I just thought I would share a few of the things that I am learning... because we are saving a TON of money storing what we eat and eating what we store... and we find are enjoying food in a whole new way...

to quote...

2009-04-29T05:00:00.001-07:00

President Thomas S. Monson:

"Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order to be tested, we must sometimes face challenges and difficulties. At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel’s end—no dawn to break the night’s darkness. We feel surrounded by the pain of broken hearts, the disappointment of shattered dreams, and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea “Is there no balm in Gilead?” We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face." ~ President Thomas S. Monson, "Looking Back and Moving Forward", Ensign, May 2008, 87–90

feasting on the Sabbath...

2009-04-26T15:00:00.003-07:00

In a very practical sense...

I did too much this last week trying to catch up with all the things I couldn't do while I was limited after surgery... so I had to leave right after Sacrament Meeting today... This was actually our Ward Conference Meeting and the focus was again on Provident Living... I was spiritually fed and felt that in view of that worthy topic I wanted to share 10 of my favorite websites revolving around food storage, and especially ways to use that food storage...

Everyday Food Storage ~
The Idea Door; Food Storage and Supply ~ (this site has a BUNCH of links to other sites...)
Food Storage Recipes ~
The Enlightened Homemaker ~
Food Storage Recipes and More ~ (an online recipe book in PDF format that is easy to print...)
BellaOnline LDS Families Site ~ (this site has a BUNCH of links about all kinds of Home Management...)
Healthy Familes Warm Hearts ~
It's Not Your Mama's Food Storage ~
Food Storage, A Necessary Adventure (recipes) ~
Everything Under The Sun ~

Some of the websites I am sharing overlap ideas and even some recipes... but I have found that there is SO much help out there already given that I thought I would share just some of what I have used... The very last link above is from last November when Wendy Dewitt posted on her blog called "Everything Under The Sun" an article she has become famous for... with helpful hints, recipes, and a lot of other information... There are videos from the 3 BYU classes she taught in March on this topic at YouTube and other sources for this article elsewhere on the internet... in the last few months it has been floating around the internet as PDF file so maybe some may have gotten it in an email (I personally have gotten it half a dozen times in the last 2 months...) The PDF file is in a convenient format for printing... if you would like that version of this article, you can get it by emailing her or you can email me and I will share my copy with you...

I have used tons of the recipes which you will find in the posted resources as we have virtually lived out of our storage since hubby's accident last November. We are a lot less stress financially than we were while he was not working, but we have a lot of medical bills still left to pay, so it's not just the economy that is pulling at our income... Even if things were better for everyone else we would be living frugally... Over the last months we always had plenty to eat simply because we have in the past followed the council to store what we eat/eat what we store... My testimony of a long term ~ rotating food pantry continues to be strengthened each time we go through a challenge that makes it necessary to live on our storage, to date that has happened more than 10 times in our marriage of 25+ years... so now living out of and rotating our storage is a normal part of life... I feel this is a huge blessing to us, rather than a challenge...

With these few links I have been able to limit to site searches for help with so many problems that I have needed to find solutions for. I have been able to quite often cook with just what I store in my regular food supply/pantry... The ideas I have read on the websites I have shared align well with the messages of our Ward Conference today of living a fugal and provident life, and I have never personally come across anything bad in them, so I feel confident in sharing them... I have been using some of these blogs as a resource for some time... some are people I actually know and some have only been passed on to me by mutual friends...

I hope they are helpful to others...

less ouch... ugh... and bleh...

2009-04-20T22:00:00.003-07:00

...even though I am still recouping from last Saturday...

I would not have given up that day for anything in the world, but it sure took a lot out of me... We will be repeating the same general schedule in mid May with the whole immediate family and many extended family members planning on being at the temple together... I hope I continue to get stronger by then, so I can enjoy the day even more... We always love going to the temple together as a family... and that trip will be extra special next month for a few reasons... We are all definitely looking forward to that day...

I hope we can get some more family photos after, that I can share... it might be our last chance to get everyone "snapped" while in nice clothes before Son2 leaves for boot camp in July... and just maybe we can get some new, great couple/single shots of all the kids, that we can use to update the family picture wall in the living room... Most of those are at least a year old...

In other news I am gathering recipes/ideas and planning a birthday dinner for Son2 in early May... and wishing we could all be together for that... But with work and school schedules... well, that is probably a hopeless dream... I have a few ideas that sound like fun, but Son2 gets to pick the food and he hasn't settled on a menu, so I am not sure what we are eating... gotta' zero in on that... the date is fast approaching.

Hubby and I need a new "long weekend get away~marriage renewal" trip (which we actually don't usually do on a true weekend, because hotel pricing/deals are often better during the week...) We are looking at the end of May or early June for that plan of action. We haven't done anything really special since our anniversary last November because of hubby's accident and then my surgery... But it has been our practice to do something special together once a quarter for a few years now... and we are really hoping to manage an inexpensive get away very soon...

We have had some great times in the last few months while being at home, and just spending time together... Since all the kids are grown it is pretty easy to find time alone... But there is something wonderful and magical about going somewhere and seeing something or some place new... Not to mention we have friends in several cities within a few hours of our home that we haven't seen in ages, and would like to... so we are looking at a lot of options for a 3-4 day mid-week trip.

I'm feeling pretty good these days... I have less pain than I have had for a lot of months, now that I am mostly healed... I don't have much stamina, but when I do feel up to doing things I am mostly able to manage doing them without much pain... a major improvement over last fall and winter... so hurray to that!

Life is good... I am a little slow at times, but good... so to those that have asked about why I have been so quiet lately on the updates... I just haven't had much to say, except that I am doing okay... and, how many different ways can you say that??? (Without sounding totally boring???) Life is good, it's just fine and dandy... but there is nothing much to report... So all you worry warts out there can stop worrying about me... honest...

feasting on the Sabbath...

2009-04-19T06:00:00.001-07:00

I love the temple... Yesterday was a chance for hubby and I to again make a trip to the temple... Elder Bednar's talk from the Sunday afternoon session of conference 2 weeks ago was on my mind all day as we went about our busy but wonderful temple experience:

Within the sound of my voice are many young women, young men, and children. I plead with you to be worthy, to be steadfast, and to look forward with great anticipation to the day you will receive the ordinances and blessings of the temple.

Within the sound of my voice are individuals who should have but have not yet received the ordinances of the house of the Lord. Whatever the reason, however long the delay, I invite you to begin making the spiritual preparations so you can receive the blessings available only in the holy temple. Please cast away the things in your life that stand in the way. Please seek after the things that are of eternal consequence.

Within the sound of my voice are individuals who have received the ordinances of the temple and for various reasons have not returned to the house of the Lord in quite some time. Please repent, prepare, and do whatever needs to be done so you can again worship in the temple and more fully remember and honor your sacred covenants.

Within the sound of my voice are many individuals who hold current temple recommends and strive worthily to use them. I commend you for your faithfulness and devotion.

For me there is great comfort in the blessings of the temple... over the years it's been one of our favorite "date" places... yesterday was no exception...

I am reminded WHY we have 3 new temples being built in AZ... We NEED more temples... this time of year each year that starts the Saturday roll-call of what is often referred to as "wedding season"... from here until next fall every single Saturday is beyond crazy busy... (though generally all year long, Saturday's are busy..) Weekly there are from between 25-40 weddings/sealings every single Saturday depending on the time of the year it is...

All in all our day was great... but I am really looking forward to more temples in AZ... the new Phoenix temple which will be an hour closer to us will be a much smaller one, and like Snowflake we will make an appointment to attend, after it is built... that is always a calmer experience, I have discovered... Even stake and ward temple excursions are handled differently I am told... and yesterday I was reminded why we try when at all possible to go during the week when hubby is off instead of Saturdays when it seems like everyone else in AZ goes to the temple... LOL... But no matter what the circumstances... I am grateful for the opportunity to attend and for the blessings of the temple in my own life and the lives of my children...

I love the temple...

windy spring...

2009-04-15T07:00:00.001-07:00

Honestly I can't ever remember in 15 years of living here through weather of all kinds, a spring that was so windy... even considering the general & normal windy-ness of our area... this year has been over the top WINDY... almost every day... I am immensely tired of the wind... I guess that is why last night I started dreaming of living in a wind free area... I refined the dream as the night aged to a tropical hut... in a sheltered lagoon... Bora Bora would do...

or a very private luxury cruise liner... lol...

Hubby's allergies have been worse this year because of the wind... mine, for some reason, not so much... that is highly unusual... personally I will take that small benefit as a HUGE plus...

Now back to that calm and peaceful Bora Bora dream, I think I will add a waiter offering pink lemonade....... at least while the wind blows outside, here in my real life world... ;)

the atonement...

2009-04-12T06:00:00.003-07:00

it's Easter...

Last weekend at General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints an apostle of the Lord, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, gave a very moving testimony of the Atonement. I have always appreciated Elder Holland's talks wherever he is speaking... in conference, at firesides, or with his wife when I heard them many years ago... I love to go back and listen/watch his talks over and over... I know that this talk about the atonement will be one that I turn to often in the years to come...

I just wanted to share...

one of the things...

2009-04-11T06:00:00.004-07:00

...that is very good about today's economy is that more and more people are looking to make do with what they have, pass on what they don't need to others that are in need and fix things up that they find available... because suddenly no one had as much "disposable income"... It has been my personal experience over the last 25 years or more to refinish furniture and fix things up or make do... I really like doing it... and I think there is more than just one reason to come to the reality of: "use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"... Something most of our parents or grandparents knew very well... I find it interesting the number of forums, blogs and articles you can look at if you do a search.

The truth is that that people are learning in droves, that there is real and lasting satisfaction and joy in being truly creative and frugal with what you already have. I really have enjoyed watching and reading about a whole new generation (one that really didn't seem to be willing to learn some of these lessons on their own...) live more frugally... The waste in our society, and especially young adults has been out of control, for a long time... to me the "entitled attitude" I have been seeing in so many youth and young adults that live today is not only foreign, it is disgustingly selfish and detrimental to their learning and growing abilities...

It appears that the government is not choosing to learn many lessons from the current economic cycle, they continue to make a lot of the same mistakes they have been making for way too many years... but a lot of my family and friends, my loved ones and the people I think the most of... ARE doing a GREAT job at tightening belts and are actually having a good time learning to do with less and enjoying being a lot more creative with what they have, in the bargain... Personally... in my view that is, as I mentioned only ONE of the blessings of the current economic challenges we as a society face... a second advantage that is gained from this frugality is helping one another... I have seen some really fabulous giving and grateful receiving happening around me...

I have learned over the years of dealing with a debilitating disease that we really don't know how much we can do until we are asked to do it, and then are asked to do more, and more, to give even when we think we have nothing left or are stretched beyond what we thought we could manage... We find out who we really are when the biggest challenges come...

I am happy to say that I know a lot of really fine people that are making the most of their challenges, by happily accepting and growing in amazing ways...

Easter...

2009-04-08T07:00:00.001-07:00

It's been 2 years since both of my parents passed away within a few weeks of each other... Last year near the 1st anniversary of those events, I wrote about some of my feelings regarding their passing in the spring of 2007... 2 years later, I still miss them both very much... Today I was thinking that the year they both went home to our heavenly Father, Easter Sunday was on April 8th (I will always remember that because my daddy left us that Easter evening...) This year Easter is on a different day of the calendar because of the way that Easter is connected to the cycles of our earth... but the actual calendar day isn't really what is important in my recollections... what is important is that as a Christian I personally recognize the Atonement of the Savior of the world at Easter each year. In fact it is important that I personally recognized the great GIFT that is given me by my Savior each and every day of the year...

Somehow it felt very right that my father went home to our Heavenly Father on the day that we celebrated that gift of the atonement from our Savior in 2007... I realize today that forever in the future Easter will be even more special to me than it used to be... that is because of the connection to Easter of my earthly father's passing. That Easter was the end of many long weeks, months and years of watching them leave us a bit at a time... and knowing that ther were now free of the pain, sorrows and physical limitations they had in this world... and that they had been reunited again...

Easter each year will always be a reminder, to me now more than ever, that my father and mother are not gone from me forever... I will see them again... My parents lived lives of humble service, even while confined at the end by frail bodies... they were very Christlike... They are still those same generous and loving people they were in life... and because of how I miss them now it is my goal to live so that I can be with them again forever... because missing them forever is too much to bear...

This Easter season I am so very very grateful for the loving example of Christlike service that my parents gave me during their lives... I don't often measure up... but their examples give me hope and a mark to reach for. Maybe if I live to be 90 or more, as they did... I can get close to leaving for my own children a similar example??? It is a worthy goal in my estimation...

more wise words...

2009-04-07T07:00:00.003-07:00

from Dr Elia Gourgouris' Mormon Times article today:

My point is that we must cherish and celebrate perfection whenever and wherever we find it! But it usually doesn't happen in big ways or even very often in the lives of human beings. It happens in moments, and those moments can become etched in our memories forever.

The problem is that those moments usually come unexpectedly, so we need to be open to recognizing them when they do so fleetingly occur. Oftentimes we are so focused on the tasks at hand, or the desire to force perfection in some other place or time in our lives, that we miss those perfect moments entirely. As a result, our lives can feel like an exercise in frustration, for as surely as we live we will have many more imperfect moments, days, weeks, months and years -- actually a lifetime.

But God does bring us moments. And those moments add up to create a rich and wonderful life. I think that at the end of my life, I'd rather have an imperfect life filled with some perfect moments that I loved and appreciated than a life filled with my own attempts at order and control that led me to miss the gifts that God was setting right before my eyes -- in his time, not mine.

Way too often we (all mortal beings who are certainly less than perfect...) become so focused on what we don't have, haven't yet achieved, and aren't able to do because of sometimes temporary limitations... that we stop seeing "the wonder" which is all around us... We ignore "everyday miracles" and "minor glories"... always wanting the major stuff to happen...

In the last year I have been trying to concentrate on what IS, instead of what isn't. Two things have been apparent to me... first: is that the adversary has done his best to try and confuse and discourage me from this goal by putting a lot of major problems in my way, and trying to force me to look at what isn't happening the way I want... and second: that there are tremendous blessings to witness every single day, just waiting for anyone that focuses on what IS the way "it" is. "It" is the relative variable... "IT" is not as important as recognition of whatever "it" is that is good...

The 13th Article of Faith says:

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. [italics added]

The one thing I disagree with in the article is that these moments of perfection happen rarely... I personally believe that once we train ourselves to recognize and accept all the good that there is in our lives that we will see daily many moments of near perfection if not complete perfection. As pointed out in the article these moments do not have to last to be perfect... And they do not necessarily have to be maintained by us... only acknowledged... plus I think it helps if they are marked (noted) in a journal... At least that is becoming true in my life... Each day lately I am finding more and more moments to be happy about... My life did not change, in fact in some ways life has gotten harder... but the way I choose to view my life... complete with moments of perfection, joy, happines, faith, and wonder (just to name a few) is changing... It's more of that "PollyAnna in practice" attitude...

family is forever...

2009-04-06T07:00:00.004-07:00

...although this last weekend went WAY too fast...

Our online conference connection let us down on Sunday, so we missed the sessions live... and only managed to get a few bits out of an internet connection that just would NOT cooperate... Fortunately we will all be able to download and listen to the talks we missed through the next weeks... and we really enjoyed the extra time we had to visit and just be together... We had ALL the immediate family together on Saturday night and on Sunday in the morning, because unexpectedly Son1 was switched to on-call and got to be with us... We had lots of extended family on Sunday (Sweetee's family came to try and watch conference too... but as I said that didn't work so well...) and it was fun to all be gathered at Son1 and Sweetee's new house... since they had just barely moved, it was crazy busy for Sweetee to get things settled in fast the week before our planned weekend... but all our work to have plenty of food and lots of fun worked out great! It was a FABULOUS weekend of family togetherness... I wish we could do this a lot more often...

We took a family photo...

and here is one of Princess Bride and Sir Knight with their puppies...

a very handsome one of Son1

my beautiful DIL ~ Sweetee and her best friend

and last but NOT least Son2 ~ about a week before, this was taken during the move to the new house...

eternal love...

2009-04-03T05:00:00.006-07:00

Love doesn't end at death... Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that... Because of that truth, in my opinion, the eternal nature of family just makes sense... Love also does not start with losing someone... It starts with spending time and energy in a relationship while they are a part of our lives. Which brings me to the most important relationships we will have in this life... they are the family connections we work so hard to develop, with a happy marriage being the crowning achievement that many couples strive for... But, do we do enough in our here and NOW to encourage "eternal love"? Most of us could probably use some work at this...

Yesterday hubby and I had a date in the middle of the day, he'd had the night before off from work... and after a leisurely morning, we ran some errands and then had an late lunch/early dinner together... We'd spent the evening before watching a DVD and cuddling, laughing at the show we were watching and relishing in the chance to hold hands as we fell into a peaceful sleep... (holding hands is one of our favorite communication avenues...)

We spent a while talking during our errands and lunch about this or that... not terribly important stuff... Some of our conversation centered around current events, some was sharing interesting opinions... we joked about the too large portion that hubby's salad contained with the manager of the restaurant... and remembered again why we usually share a meal... (Hubby's eyes were bigger than his stomach and so I splurged on a very wonderful gourmet burger and ignored most of my fries, while he ordered the "I can't believe how big this is" salad... yummy, but WAY too much food...) Through the day hubby held the doors for me as is his custom (and something I am very glad he taught our sons...) We shared stolen kisses here and there and murmured words of love... it was a lovely morning... then we watched another DVD together until hubby fell sleep in the early afternoon, in preparation of working last night.

I spent the afternoon thinking and writing in my journal about this day... It's not really an unusual day for us, but I had a kind of ah ha moment... Even though we have repeated a similar type of event very often over our 25+ years of marriage, I realized something about the quality of our relationship these days... The truth is that we still "date" each other... meaning that I realized that we don't just have date nights... we "date"... all the time... we are still dating even when we aren't together... just like when, previous to our wedding day, we were falling in love... all those many years ago... We often send private messages to each other... little love notes and words of encouragement... We used to have to work harder at sending notes... but now with electronic means of communication sending notes is so easy... and we use email, a lot...

Sometimes his notes to me are sent in the middle of the night while he is working and I am sleeping... I wake up to read these wonderful reminders of hubby's love, and they start my day so beautifully... The notes I send are often collected and read by hubby during lulls in his work schedule, or while on a break... It may sound mushy and unreal to some, but we really enjoy our "lifetime dating" relationship... It's fun to be not just married but eternal sweethearts...

While I constantly pray that my children and grandchildren will be a part of my family for eternity... and that we will all be together forever... it is my relationship with hubby that completes my heart... Even when we are apart I feel his love, and have many reminders of it... I know that he works as hard as he does for me, for us... I know that he would spend every minute with me, if he could... but we also know that work and commitments outside of our relationship are a part of life and learning as well... That includes the need to provide service to many others too... not just working, but giving of ones time and means... Personally I think we have learned a valuable secret... that time away from each other doesn't have to separate us... it can actually help us be more connected... we have learned how to share our separated time... and it's not really as hard as it sounds...

You will both need to constantly work at that eternal love you want to share... The good news is that whatever works for a couple can be a way to keep the romance alive forever... It doesn't cost anything to say I love you and mean it... and it doesn't take too much effort once you get into the habit of really loving to find new and inventive ways to express your love... It is a wonderful feeling to know... really and truly KNOW that what you share with the one you love... is an eternal love...

....out like a lion...???

2009-03-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

March is often windy in our part of the state... The last week has been WINDY... very windy...

I am looking forward to April because it is usually a calmer month (weather wise) here, but there are other reasons too... I spent most of March recovering from surgery so it wasn't much fun, at least some of that time... I am feeling so much stronger now, and certainly in less pain... that is for sure... For all those reasons April feels like more than just spring... it feels like a fresh start...

I will also mention Son2 and Sweetee just bought and moved into their first house... happy days and new starts in their lives too...

On this last day of March I feel like maybe I deserve a beautiful, peaceful, happy April... Here's to a beautiful spring and gentle, peaceful days...

anxiously preparing...

2009-03-30T06:00:00.003-07:00

In case "Mormon Times" isn't on your radar for news or online reading material I wanted to share this article...

It's a well written opinion piece that expresses many of the things that I too feel about General Conference... In my opinion, these periodic conferences (and that includes stake and ward conferences, but right now I am concentrating on General Conference which is coming up April 4-5...) are a chance to take in oodles of spiritual insights, and renew my often depleting well of spiritual need without putting anything out on the table for others... that is, except my willingness to listen and put into practice counsel from church leaders...

It is in reality a completely selfish opportunity for refilling my lamp with pure and sacred oil, not just tiny drops that I can and do try to gather for myself... General Conference weekends are full of thousands of drops in just those TWO weekends a year... personally I crave the chance to wallow in the spirit semi-annually! I am completely psyched up... I really can hardly wait...

Please feel free to join me in the experience...

to quote...

2009-03-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf...

"We know that sometimes it can be difficult to keep our heads above water. In fact, in our world of change, challenges, and checklists, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible to avoid feeling overwhelmed by emotions of suffering and sorrow."I am not suggesting that we can simply flip a switch and stop the negative feelings that distress us. This isn't a pep talk or an attempt to encourage those sinking in quicksand to imagine instead they are relaxing on a beach. I recognize that in all of our lives there are real concerns. I know there are hearts here today that harbor deep sorrows. Others wrestle with fears that trouble the soul. For some, loneliness is their secret trial."These things are not insignificant."However, [there are] two principles that may help you find a path to peace, hope, and joy—even during times of trial and distress. I want to speak about God's happiness and how each one of us can taste of it in spite of the burdens that beset us."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Happiness, Your Heritage," Ensign, Nov. 2008, 117–18

I actually LIKE my dentist...

2009-03-23T16:00:00.002-07:00

I went to the dentist today... I like Dr. D so much... and his hygienist... well, she is the BEST in the world... Our family started going to this dentist almost 4.5 years ago, and I have gone all that time without a single cavity... so if we can just keep anymore teeth from breaking in half for no reason at all I'll be really, really happy! (That has only happened once in the last 5 years but I happened 4 times in 3 years with the dentist before him... whom I REALLY did not like anyway... and the kids HATED the old dentist, he was not at all kid friendly... but he was the only one that accepted our insurance back then...)

I was never a fan of dentists from the time I was a young person needing braces (which I wore for 3 years and hated...) but I realized today as I was sitting in the chair that I was completely relax and the whole cleaning/check up process was a breeze!

Now if only trips to the doctor were this uneventful... [chuckling]

avoiding the "lulled into tomorrow" syndrome...

2009-03-19T06:30:00.006-07:00

The last 4 weeks have been pretty much a blur of sameness... I haven't bounced back from surgery quite as quickly as I had hoped... but... I think I am finally feeling better... at least I have had less pain the last few days. I am really grateful for that...

To try and keep my mind active and not be lulled into a stupor I have been spending some of my time while recovering working on genealogy... I've been helping a friend with her research... Working together through emails and online chats we hit pay dirt and located major information on 2 of her family's lines... that has been really fun... We also got her 4 generation information entered into the online database at Family Search. Plus, I caught up on all my blog reading, participated in one completed and one newly started personal study goals... spent some time on my journal and wrote some letters... so my time has not been wasted... just a lot less physically active than I want, even for me...

Today I am hoping to get a couple boxes sorted and more than a few things allotted to recycle through donation... this process of getting rid of stuff is going more slowly than I want, we have so much stuff that still needs to go away... But we will get there... I am looking forward to feeling good enough in a few more weeks to start back on house renovations which got stalled last year by preparations for our Princess Bride's wedding (see May 2008)... The floors got finished last summer but not all the painting we had planned got done, because I had too many health issues associated with my need for my recent surgery... so that is also on my list of "to do" and I am getting impatient to get back to those improvements we planned, and already bought the supplies for...

It's pretty certain that in the next few weeks that I will get back to some kind of "normalcy"... Spring is here in our neck of the woods and like everyone else I know I am simply impatient to be actively involved in some kind of "spring cleaning" activity... Not to mention, I really dislike the whole "lulled" thing that happens when you are "waiting" for time to pass... (and when you are waiting for a certain amount of healing to finish happening...) So I fight it, but there is only so much I can do for now...

That doesn't change the fact that I continue to feel glad that I have online resources to do something productive while being so limited physically... I am reminded that that there are always ways to do good and find "joy" in life...

feasting on the Sabbath...

2009-03-15T06:00:00.001-07:00

Why we build Temples...

Why I love the Temple? The absolute peace and love I feel from my Heavenly Father and Savior is overwhelmingly strong for me within the walls of the temple, and that feeling is the same no matter which temple I go to... I crave those feelings of communion with heavenly influence...