....out like a lion...???

March is often windy in our part of the state... The last week has been WINDY... very windy...

I am looking forward to April because it is usually a calmer month (weather wise) here, but there are other reasons too... I spent most of March recovering from surgery so it wasn't much fun, at least some of that time... I am feeling so much stronger now, and certainly in less pain... that is for sure... For all those reasons April feels like more than just spring... it feels like a fresh start...

I will also mention Son2 and Sweetee just bought and moved into their first house... happy days and new starts in their lives too...

On this last day of March I feel like maybe I deserve a beautiful, peaceful, happy April... Here's to a beautiful spring and gentle, peaceful days...

anxiously preparing...

In case "Mormon Times" isn't on your radar for news or online reading material I wanted to share this article...

It's a well written opinion piece that expresses many of the things that I too feel about General Conference... In my opinion, these periodic conferences (and that includes stake and ward conferences, but right now I am concentrating on General Conference which is coming up April 4-5...) are a chance to take in oodles of spiritual insights, and renew my often depleting well of spiritual need without putting anything out on the table for others... that is, except my willingness to listen and put into practice counsel from church leaders...

It is in reality a completely selfish opportunity for refilling my lamp with pure and sacred oil, not just tiny drops that I can and do try to gather for myself... General Conference weekends are full of thousands of drops in just those TWO weekends a year... personally I crave the chance to wallow in the spirit semi-annually! I am completely psyched up... I really can hardly wait...

Please feel free to join me in the experience...

to quote...

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf...

"We know that sometimes it can be difficult to keep our heads above water. In fact, in our world of change, challenges, and checklists, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible to avoid feeling overwhelmed by emotions of suffering and sorrow."I am not suggesting that we can simply flip a switch and stop the negative feelings that distress us. This isn't a pep talk or an attempt to encourage those sinking in quicksand to imagine instead they are relaxing on a beach. I recognize that in all of our lives there are real concerns. I know there are hearts here today that harbor deep sorrows. Others wrestle with fears that trouble the soul. For some, loneliness is their secret trial."These things are not insignificant."However, [there are] two principles that may help you find a path to peace, hope, and joy—even during times of trial and distress. I want to speak about God's happiness and how each one of us can taste of it in spite of the burdens that beset us."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Happiness, Your Heritage," Ensign, Nov. 2008, 117–18

I actually LIKE my dentist...

I went to the dentist today... I like Dr. D so much... and his hygienist... well, she is the BEST in the world... Our family started going to this dentist almost 4.5 years ago, and I have gone all that time without a single cavity... so if we can just keep anymore teeth from breaking in half for no reason at all I'll be really, really happy! (That has only happened once in the last 5 years but I happened 4 times in 3 years with the dentist before him... whom I REALLY did not like anyway... and the kids HATED the old dentist, he was not at all kid friendly... but he was the only one that accepted our insurance back then...)

I was never a fan of dentists from the time I was a young person needing braces (which I wore for 3 years and hated...) but I realized today as I was sitting in the chair that I was completely relax and the whole cleaning/check up process was a breeze!

Now if only trips to the doctor were this uneventful... [chuckling]

avoiding the "lulled into tomorrow" syndrome...

The last 4 weeks have been pretty much a blur of sameness... I haven't bounced back from surgery quite as quickly as I had hoped... but... I think I am finally feeling better... at least I have had less pain the last few days. I am really grateful for that...

To try and keep my mind active and not be lulled into a stupor I have been spending some of my time while recovering working on genealogy... I've been helping a friend with her research... Working together through emails and online chats we hit pay dirt and located major information on 2 of her family's lines... that has been really fun... We also got her 4 generation information entered into the online database at Family Search. Plus, I caught up on all my blog reading, participated in one completed and one newly started personal study goals... spent some time on my journal and wrote some letters... so my time has not been wasted... just a lot less physically active than I want, even for me...

Today I am hoping to get a couple boxes sorted and more than a few things allotted to recycle through donation... this process of getting rid of stuff is going more slowly than I want, we have so much stuff that still needs to go away... But we will get there... I am looking forward to feeling good enough in a few more weeks to start back on house renovations which got stalled last year by preparations for our Princess Bride's wedding (see May 2008)... The floors got finished last summer but not all the painting we had planned got done, because I had too many health issues associated with my need for my recent surgery... so that is also on my list of "to do" and I am getting impatient to get back to those improvements we planned, and already bought the supplies for...

It's pretty certain that in the next few weeks that I will get back to some kind of "normalcy"... Spring is here in our neck of the woods and like everyone else I know I am simply impatient to be actively involved in some kind of "spring cleaning" activity... Not to mention, I really dislike the whole "lulled" thing that happens when you are "waiting" for time to pass... (and when you are waiting for a certain amount of healing to finish happening...) So I fight it, but there is only so much I can do for now...

That doesn't change the fact that I continue to feel glad that I have online resources to do something productive while being so limited physically... I am reminded that that there are always ways to do good and find "joy" in life...

feasting on the Sabbath...

Why we build Temples...



Why I love the Temple? The absolute peace and love I feel from my Heavenly Father and Savior is overwhelmingly strong for me within the walls of the temple, and that feeling is the same no matter which temple I go to... I crave those feelings of communion with heavenly influence...

loving a family...

This last week I have been concentrating on some personal improvement efforts, specifically relating to the focus of my efforts in supporting my family better. As children grow up and become adults a parent's roll changes so drastically... but being a parent doesn't stop, and in some ways being the parent of adult children is harder than I imagined it...

Because the desire of my heart is to have my family unit preserved forever I have spent a lot of time recently on my knees in their behalf... I find it easier to pray for others... but in this case I am also praying for myself because eternity without my children and hubby won't be complete... they are the most important people in my life... I am trying to express that better in my words and actions.

feasting on the Sabbath...

This weekend was Stake Conference... I love SC... For years I have really appreciated the Saturday evening session that is for the adults best... usually I get the most out of this session, but that is possibly because I prepare for it...

I am learning through this exercise of "feasting on the Sabbath", I started at the beginning of the year, that when it comes to a LOT of experiences in life, many are made better by preparing for them... Not just anticipating, but actually preparing to focus on that experience and nothing else... Living in the moment as it were...

This SC was no different... I prepared for the experience and I can say that it was one of the best conferences I have ever attended... even though physically I was as uncomfortable, if not MORE uncomfortable trying to sit through it, as I ever have been... I was REALLY hurting, cause my pain meds wore off and I forgot to take any with me... but I couldn't leave... I was learning SO much, I experienced a feeling of thirst for the words being given that was really exciting... I gained some very important renewals into my own personal faith and spiritual needs in life... but I will just share one "woven concept" here:

True JOY comes from following council to be spiritually and temporally prepared within my own self... when I am properly doing what I can to fill my own well, and find joy and contentment with the life I have... I can love and care for others around me better... I know I can be doing a lot more... but I was also reminded that I don't need to do for other what they are able do for themselves, any more than others should do for me that which I can and should be doing for myself... This is a careful but joyful dance that we best perform through the spirit of Christlike charity and love... Those that follow council best are the best able to give of surplus joy which they will often own, because they HAVE internal contentment and peace. Also I was reminded that charity doesn't necessarily mean money... it often means giving of one's TIME and talents...

Some of these renewed ideas that I learned this weekend are related to a theme I had already latched on to for this month... and I find that really interesting.

10,000 steps...

Someday I WILL meet this goal... I am up to about 3000 a day, since the surgery... so I have a ways to go... Even before surgery, my elliptical machine and I had never found this magical Xanadu... I got pretty close last summer (just over 7400) before my health took another nose dive with the anemia issues, but we never actually found it...

In the last year I have lost some weight that I have been carrying around for years... I have started to concentrate on trying to follow the diabetic diet, to cut out foods that have little nutritional value, no matter how wonderful they taste (sometimes I still have a "taste", but I try not to wallow in these treats...) and I try to walk as much as possible... for me this means getting on the elliptical most days for at least a while... some days it's not very long, because hip pain becomes too overwhelming... but I still keep trying... and I keep looking at the goal...

Walk 10,000 steps a day...

Many doctors are saying that is a key point to lasting and healthy weight management... but that's not really the reason I started trying to reach this goal... I started trying to reach it because as long as I keep walking I won't be confined to a wheel chair... I may carry around a disability and need to use one for exhausting adventures, but mobility issues don't have to stop me dead in my walking tracks... at least not yet... walking is my tool to staying mostly mobile... I regularly lose ground that I have to regain... but so far I am NOT giving up!

choose to be optimistic...

I have become, over the last year, a faithful reader of Dr. Elia Gourgouris' column... I like his take on many issues... I like today's column better than most, even...

It's about choosing to be an optimist... [round of applause inserted here]

I know a little about this topic, because I have practiced this concept for some years... I choose to play "the glad game"... I choose to look at life through rose colored glasses, at least most days... I turn my back on seeing things in a negative light... mostly.

And before someone steps away slowly... seeing me as a silly dreamer, out of touch and perhaps a bit more than daffy... Let me say that I AM realistic... I do not ignore problems, but I choose to look at solutions and hope in the face of challenges... After the initial "WOW" I generally choose to look at the positive side...

As part of that optimism I accept that my Heavenly Father has given me, at times, a larger than average list of health challenges. I have come to the opinion that for whatever reason, these challenges are for my good... because I cannot see the end of my story it would be very easy for me to choose to see only the challenges and become angry and bitter... but it's really not what I face in life that is the important part, it is how I choose to face what is before me.

I invite all I know to join life in the optimist's camp... I also will share that I have discovered that being an optimist takes a lot less energy than being a pessimist. So join in... if only for your energy health.

find joy in life...

Last month I mentioned that I use "Read My Scriptures" in my personal and family study efforts... This has been a great tool for me, I have even donated to the cause because I like it so much... Right now I have 3 reading schedules I get reminders for... The weekly Gospel Doctrine Sunday School lessons, my personal study of scripture, and a family schedule, from which I pull out ONE scripture reference a day to text to our immediate family (plus one friend that wanted to be included)... These three reading schedules come in an email... and since I generally read my email daily, I then remember to read my desired scripture schedule...

Once I finish reading there is a "completed" button to hit, which then triggers the next day's reading assignment to be emailed to me. Clicking on that completed button also opens a new web page to the Read My Scriptures web site and there is always a quote included as an added boost to my studies... today's quote was too good not to pass on...

"Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself. I do not minimize how hard some of these events are. They can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining center of everything you do. The Lord inspired Lehi to declare the fundamental truth, "Men are, that they might have joy." That is a conditional statement: "they might have joy." It is not conditional for the Lord. His intent is that each of us finds joy. It will not be conditional for you as you obey the commandments, have faith in the Master, and do the things that are necessary to have joy here on earth." --Richard G. Scott, "Finding Joy in Life", Ensign, May 1996, 24

The last few months... (and some times it feels like years) have been especially challenging for me personally and for our family as well... we have had our share of economic woes, along with the rest of the country although only some of those challenges are because of family members losing jobs... Many of our challenges have been tempered by living the gospel and following council for years in the past... but honestly that does not mean that we do not feel the challenges deeply...

Like Adam and Eve we are left to make our way in the lone and dreary world. But thank heavens we also have the benefit of the Ministry of Angels....

feasting on the Sabbath...

This last week has brought me through a few lows... and I have been profoundly grateful for the gospel while I have been living through them...

My understanding is not perfect, but it is solid... I am grateful for the Savior's Atonement... I know that He loves me... imperfect and weak as I am... and even when I feel unworthy of that love, I DO know that He loves me... and I know that I can show my love for Him by loving others as He loves me...

I publicly express my love for my family... I have been very grateful for their support and love of me.

I share this with them and anyone else that cares to view it as wise counsel from the Lord, through one of His servants:



This second video touched me deeply and I wanted to remind those that I love to reach outside themselves to lift each others burdens... and then maybe reach outside that place and touch those who they do not even know perhaps... this is the way that we find the greatest joy and happiness in our own lives... it's not the things we give to others that are of greatest worth... the simple kindnesses we show are of the greatest value... when we listen for help from the Lord, we will know the kind of gifts to give... I really need to remember this lesson...



*As a side note, I have decided that March is going to be a whole month of finding JOY!

Here is a great idea for a date night treat published on a blog I sometimes read...

A quick desert for two entitled ~ 5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE

I suggest you add vanilla ice cream and 2 spoons put in a rented or owned video for a simple date night idea, and you don't even have to leave the house (which for me right now is a given... cause I can't even stay out of bed for an hour at a time yet)... it may not be everyone's idea of great but it struck me as a winner!

water please...

Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to inconvenience others??? In the last week as I have been recovering from surgery I have periodically needed something, but was in too much pain to move or just felt bad enough that I wished I had a little robot so that I didn't have to inconvenience my family members who have been helping me...

Today I am finally feeling like my abdomen has not just been hit by a baseball bat... (and I mean a really big hitter, going after a home run...) I was as prepared as anyone could possible be for my hysterectomy, and yet the pain levels I have dealt with have been much greater than I was ready for... even a week later blowing my nose takes psyching up for, coughing is nearly impossible... and sneezing create a fear stiff enough to make me go into panic mode... because I am so afraid of the pain... It still requires all my energy and personal determination to get up for a glass of water... to use the bathroom... and to even eat. I dose day and night... but it's not been a restful-like dosing... more like hoping for the bad thing to go away, but feeling it there, just below the surface...

At least today I can say that the pain is at last starting to fade... I am taking a lot less pain medication now (over the last 24-48 hrs) and I am hoping that will also help my body to feel better... I do not tolerate pain medications well, they cause unusual reactions in me that others do not always have... so while they are necessary, I use them, but I am always more than ready and very willing to cut back and/or give them up entirely. I think it is a situation where they tend to build up in my system and leave me feeling groggy and irritable...

Anyway, I am starting to come up for air... to all my friends and family that have expressed good wishes and said prayers... thank you...

feasting on the Sabbath...

Even though we realized there was a chance we would be taking this week off from class I spent some time working on the lesson earlier in the week, before surgery... then when it was obvious on Friday after I got home from the hospital that expecting to feel up to attending church only 4 days after a major abdominal surgery was an overly ambitious goal... [chuckling] I called and arranged to take the week off... Sometimes I am so dense...

Nevertheless I kept working on the lesson and this morning I thought I would share a few areas that I explored in my personal studies...

Sister Allred's General Conference talk from last October is a wonderful overview for anyone just learning about the temple... I am sending it to the members of our class, as this week's "absent teacher" handout... I wanted everyone to have something new to lift them during the next week... We have all been enjoying this class so much together and I feel sorry to miss the enrichment my own spirit enjoys... Our class discussions have been really wonderful each week.

I also want to share here a talk President Faust gave almost 11 years ago. This talk is one that I have carried around for a while in my PDA... and it is especially speaking to me the last few weeks as I work at preparing myself over and over to help others learn about their own goals for temple attendance... to better understand the temple's importance in my own life... and to reach out to my own husband and children in love and devotion. Temple covenants have and should help me to connect my heart to each person I love more fully...

I remember in particular that this idea (the following quoted text) really jumped out at me when I first heard it given in April 1998... and as I was reading and studying the last few days... and thinking about family challenges that I know are being faced within my immediate and much larger/more extended family... I am overwhelmed by by Heavenly Father's love for us... He gives us the tools to love everyone we come in contact with... personally I realize I spend most of my days thinking these tools are harder to use than they really are...

Elder James E. Talmage affirmed that the true believer, “with the love of God in his soul, pursues his life of service and righteousness without stopping to ask by what rule or law each act is prescribed or forbidden.”

In a world where we and our families are threatened by evil on every side, let us remember President Hinckley’s counsel: “If our people could only learn to live by these covenants, everything else would take care of itself.”

Faithful members of the Church who are true to their covenants with the Master do not need every jot and tittle spelled out for them. Christlike conduct flows from the deepest wellsprings of the human heart and soul. It is guided by the Holy Spirit of the Lord, which is promised in gospel ordinances. Our greatest hope should be to enjoy the sanctification which comes from this divine guidance; our greatest fear should be to forfeit these blessings. May we so live that we may be able to say, as did the Psalmist: “Search me, O God, and know my heart.”

at home to recuperate...

I will be more polly-normal in a few days... until then I am taking some time off. I am going to plug in a movie or two and veg through this irritating post-op pain... it's a bit harder to get around without all those special extras like a hospital bed with handles to use for repositioning... not to mention on demand help when I needed it... When you have to interrupt a loved one's current task... you tend to second guess your own needs... I really appreciate all the love and prayers directed to our family...

My family and friends are terrific, and I know I will heal very fast, and I already feel some relief in some areas! ;)

the day after...

You always forget how hard that first time standing UP is going to be after abdominal surgery. (I use the term "up" in it's loosest translation...)

Years ago, I had all my children by C-Section... each one was a bit harder than the one before... nevertheless it's been nearly 19 years since Son2 was born... and... WOW... let me just say that it is a good thing that I was not actually expecting that much pain getting up after or I would have chickened out, for sure... he he... OH... and thank the heavens for a wonderful doctor that believes in pain medication on demand after this procedure!!!

All in all, I am doing okay now, it's just that first time, that is the worst... now I am just moving VERY slowly and carefully. I really appreciate all the prayers and offers of help once I get home... I know they have made/will make a world of difference... and, I selfishly ask you to keep up the good thoughts...

...Mom made it just fine through surgery. More later from her as she feels up to it.

personal note...

After many months of issues, (years actually) lots of research, and several doctors opinions... my hysterectomy is finally taking place this afternoon... Originally hubby and I wanted this surgery to happen in November, then the target date was moved to December... unfortunately because of his accident we had to postpone that date to the end of February or early March...... The decision to again revised the date to "now" was made possible only 2 weeks ago, because hubby is doing so well again and is back to working his regular schedule...

It is anticipated that I will only be in the hospital 2 days/nights... nevertheless because of some specific health risks I have, that time frame may be just a bit longer... It is my intention to get messages out, via my phone and/or kindle, and with the help of my family... I have spent some time and energy the last little while setting up and testing out mobile update options... my family will help me update this blog and other networking options (email and facebook)... the first info those interested will receive will be a short message that everything went just fine, as expected... someone will certainly text family/close friends who we have that contact info for... Later as I am feeling more awake and no doubt in need of a distraction, I will try to pass on more info...

We have lots of hope (my doctor feels especially confident...) that this surgery will eliminate several pressing and chronic issues I have been dealing with, for these many, many months... but in any event, my female problems are simply creating so many variables we don't really know where they end and my disease issues begin, so this is a step that will separate all of that, and help define our questions... most importantly we hope that this step will give us more answers in the long run... We feel that this is the right choice for me... and I will personally be very glad when it is all over.

Thanks in advance for the prayers that will be said...

feasting on the Sabbath...

This week as I was preparing to help teach the temple prep class again, I was re-reading a few dedicatory prayers from some of the temples that I have been to or would very much like to go to... I found the Dedicatory Prayer from the Nauvoo Temple to be so poignant, and thought I would share with anyone that was unaware that these prayers are available for study.

Prayers that are given at temple dedications are revelatory in nature... I need to remember that...
Photo: © 2005, Scott Cannon./link
(...written in advance of posting)