When last year we were dealing with the aftermath of hubby's accident the days ahead seemed a bit bleak and I kept thinking, "THIS is going to be a long year..." But reality has a way of surprising me just about every day.
I love Thanksgiving, because it reminds me to stop and remember how blessed I am... and while I am trying to do that more in my life as a rule... like most people I seem to need a reason to focus on my blessings... and then, there is Christmas... the holiday that I associate with good memories, days spent with family and friends... Often those memories kinda' blur together, but they are a great thing to stir to life in my heart...
When I was a kid most years at least some of my siblings would bring their families home for Christmas... we were a big group, and now we all have our own families and traditions... My parents are gone and so we don't need to plan trips to see them around holidays... now we plan ways to get our own children together... but mostly we are learning to let go of our holiday traditions and step back a bit to watch our adult children as they build their own... That in itself is a rewarding thing...
I am pleased and amazed at the traditions our kids choose to keep from their childhoods and sometimes have a big grin on my face over what new traditions they create for their own families... In my mind a family is created the day a couple marries, so after that the most important traditions they have are together... in their homes, families, lives...
This is not a lonely endeavor... they do not forget us... but it is a time when we all have a chance to expand our traditions and make a few new ones... Gone are the days for us of driving around with little ones in car seats to look at lights, but my kids still do that in their own ways... and sometimes they ask us to go along... Gone are the days of excited whispers at our bedroom at first light, as small voices ask if it's time to see what Santa brought... These days we get to sleep in and this year I think we will start a new tradition, for just the two of us on Christmas morning... I am not quite sure yet what that will be, but I know that it will be great, because WE (hubby and I) are great together...
We always have a family gift exchange, but this year we even changed how we do that, because the kids wanted to draw names and put the individual names in a hat (except we used a bowl,) and that was fun... They drew the names on Thanksgiving day... Maybe they will do it a little earlier next year... but it feels right to me to adjust our traditions to fit the way the family has changed...
We have no grandchildren yet, at least not "official ones" and our adopted grands live far away now... so there are few little toys to buy... We've enjoyed giving to a local angel tree the last few years... that is a nice tradition... and gives us a chance to keep buying toys for a couple little hearts...
For me, Christmas is about acts of love and service... it's not about what to buy, or how much to spend... we do buy gifts, and now we try to give our married children things they need... sometimes we make gifts... but in the realm of receiving we love the ones that our kids give us that reflect giving of themselves... in fact this year that is what we have asked for, from them...
I love this time of year... I love the music and the crisp days... I love the feelings of gratitude in my own heart... I don't like the crowds, so I tend to avoid places were those are bad... But I love to see the cheerful lights that illuminate the square in town, and I like having the smells I associate with the holidays filling our home...
This year, Christmas day will probably be the quietest we have ever known... but I am warmed by the happy thought of knowing that my children are building their own traditions, and enjoying their own family's "Christmas mornings"... That is a good thing... I remember my own mom telling me that the only parents that truly hated empty nests were the ones with lots of regrets...
I guess I have a lot fewer regrets than most, because I am kinda' liking my empty nest... even during the holidays...
We Know Better
5 days ago
1 comment:
Lovely sentiments, Polly, sensible too. For the first time ever, we went out for Thanksgiving dinner. I cooked a turkey earlier in the week and a ham on Friday, so we had plenty of good things at home to eat. But I have to say that going out was a fun change this year. I think our main family tradition is that we're always changing up things a bit. Keeps life interesting. ;)
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