water... a blessing...

For me this day every year is not a great day... I personally do not care for the holiday that most people celebrate today... and so I thought I would write about something I CAN celebrate...

WATER...

I mean, just think about it... that refreshing wonder-fluid that can make you feel like you just hit the mother load on a hot day in a place like AZ... OK, maybe I am weird... but I really do love water... and it's not really everywhere... So I suppose it could be said that it is because I live in a place that sees little of it falling from the skies normally, that I love it so much...??? (Though this year we had a good deal, for us...) I guess it doesn't really matter... but it's just that I like the sight, sound, feel, taste and the smell of water... and I thought I would mention it...

Truly one of the great blessings of our beautiful world...

more food for thought...

"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing." ~Marsha Doble

[I "borrowed" this quote from a friend's blog, a while back...]

packing...

I really don't like packing... I always forget things... The lists of what to take gets longer and longer every day... [giggle] I used to blame the kids for all the stuff we took on trips, but I have discovered that hubby and I are just as bad when it comes to the things we seem to need when we are traveling. (No wonder I am a homebody...)

And before you can even get the packing done, the laundry has to be caught up... oh and I can't leave the house a mess, so there is extra housework to do, right...??? It's just not as easy as it sounds when you start planning a road trip or vacation... This is why I think I have come to dislike packing.

I am accepting volunteers for the job... the pay is lousy... but I will share this week's soups... [wink]

definition: to kindle

I do not like sounding like a commercial, so ignore that aspect of this post... because sometimes there is a good reason to share a product or service you have discovered and delight in...

For our anniversary, hubby got me a "kindle", which is an ebook reader... but it is not just any reader... it is a wonderfully unique reader, as it also plays my audio books and I can once again read almost all my PDA files (scriptures, lesson manuals, church magazines, the numerous Ensign articles... and the hundreds of ebooks written by LDS authors that I have purchased and saved to my electronic library on my computer over the years...) and it has a very basic web browser that works well with text page loads, so that I can read Conference talks right off the church website even. It is pretty darn cool...

In reality, this tool it's also for my birthday, Christmas, and just about any other gift giving event that will happen over the next months, because it was terribly expense... However I rationalize that this reader is a tool, in that it replaces my PDA, (actually the second PDA in about 10 years,) and which I have been using for 5+ years... we lovingly have called these PDAs *my brain*, [wink] A new reader was something we have been looking at for a while for me... and is a *valid want*, because first and foremost my previous dear old brain tool was dying pretty quickly...

Over the last year the way I have been using my PDA has changed (since I am not working now...) and my vision needed a larger and better reading screen... so this gift meets my needs in a very efficient way. I very much appreciate it, and I was very excited when I opened it... The timing of my gift is not an accident... it came now so that I will be able to read on the road, and together we can listen to audio book files while we are on our trip next week. Also while hubby is otherwise occupied with his brother, and getting his parents' living situation resolved, doing things I cannot help much with... I can follow the blogs and news of the day that I choose, without worrying about a wi-fi connection for the laptop. This new tool really is an interesting piece of technology... I am impressed so far (albeit less than 24 hrs later). In fact I can even post short updates to this blog, if I choose... though I do not think that will happen much... typing more than 15 words on it would be more cumbersome than I like... but there is the possibility... Honestly, just staying informed in the lives of my friends is the point of my interest, and it meets that goal beautifully.

Another thing I have been thinking about since opening my gift yesterday afternoon, are the many definitions for the verb used as a name for this tool... I mean that is really interesting to me:

to build or fuel, excite, incite, start a fire, cause to glow, light up (and those are just a few...)

...according to the website the choice of names was not carelessly made, and while I am sure the reasons are not altogether altruistic, I always think it is good when learning and technology meet, and selfish person that I am... create a good vehicle for my personal learning... and... I keep going back to the information that I can once again access all those great files that my PDA was struggling to display for me... again... wooohooo... my joy is certainly *kindled* in that reality... ~pa

speaking of soups...

A friend whose blog I read regularly (see World of Washburns on the side links) mentioned soups in her blog the other day. Hubby and I love soups... so it has officially become soup season in this neighborhood too.

This week we will be having Chicken Pot Pie Soup, Chicken and Green Chile Soup With Tamale Dumplings, Beef Stew, and Texas Chili... I won't include recipes but if anyone wants to join us, I would be happy to share links for the one that is not my creation and recipes for the ones that are. Leftovers for soups are self correcting if one has a bit of freezer space and make great lunches for hubby, so they really fit our lifestyle...

Don't you just love a crock pot during the fall...?

the big picture...

Sometimes I wonder how I get where I get...

Sometimes I feel like am stuck in the eye of a hurricane and I don't know which path gets me through the storm... Right now the world around me is out of control... so many people around me are worried about the economy... but I just don't have the energy for that... I am glad we are not in such terrible financial straits as some of our friends... because I feel like we have bigger things to worry about.

Sometimes I read some journal entries from a few years ago, and remember when my kids had little kid problems... when hubby was in school and everyone was in grade, middle, or high school. Those problems seemed tough, I remember feeling like I do now... then too... but compared to adult issues those problems now, look so simple... I guess most things do in hindsight.

I often need to regroup and find my center... I need to remember how far we have come... Life's gotten a bit crazy and scary in the face of adult children choices and aging parents, personal health issues... add to that other family concerns that have to be dealt with... sometimes I just need to remember that we have already come through a lot of tough times successfully... and with the Lord's help we will come through these days too.

The next couple of weeks will be a challenge in several ways, but the biggest one is one that we have known would come... we just are sorry the time has actually arrived... Hubby and I need to work out (with his brother and SIL's help) some new living conditions for his parents. It's not going to be easy to get his dad to agree to give up their independence in a city far from all of us... They live in central Texas, hours from any family at all... But somehow we have to manage, because health issues are critical for both my in-laws.

In light of that we will be making a trip in a few days to meet his brother and force this issue. It is something we have all dreaded... but it can be avoided no longer. This morning as I read some emails from BIL and some of the extended living facilities that he contacted I just felt so sad for my FIL. MIL has severe memory issues like my own mother did... (although MIL's are related to damage from years as an alcoholic... while momma's were mostly because of medication induced mini-strokes.) FIL has such severe emphysema that he can no longer stand and get enough air even with his oxygen assistance. We are unsure as to how this will all play out... we have a few ideas and plans that could work... and now we just have to follow through.

let go and let God...

This is an except from my journal ~ Nov 20th 2006; I looked it up, because I really needed the reminder today, almost 2 years later......

It was published in Son1's Mission Newsletter which his Mission President forwarded to all the families of currently serving missionaries as well... All those many months ago I wrote the following:

Since this may be one of our last newsletters... I just wanted to mention how much my heart was touched by this month's newsletter... Pres H talked about aligning our will with that of the Lord's... and included the following poem...

Let Go and Let God

Just as a child brings his broken
toys in tears for me to mend
I took my broken dreams to God
because He was my friend
I did not go and leave Him then in
peace to work alone
I hung around and tried to help in
ways that were my own.
At last I grabbed them back and
said, "how can you be so slow?"
My child He said, "what could I do
you never did let go!"

Anonymous

seeing an elephant fly...

...and other supposedly impossible feats.

A while ago, I started thinking about and making sure I had documented for my posterity all the miracles I have seen in my lifetime. I am not referring to event that that happen to others that you hear about... events which often take on "faith promoting rumor" status... I mean real events that I have actually witnessed for myself. Events that have happened in not only my own life, but that of my immediate family.

I will not enumerate those events here, for to do so in such an open way would in my opinion somehow negate the true sacredness of miracles... But I have written them in my journals over the years, and I have been recalling them and remembering how I felt at the time.

I am praying for a couple of new miracles in the life of my family and myself. Both are connected to physical and spiritual needs of myself and those I love... and at this point in time both seem nearly as impossible to me as seeing an elephant fly... but, I do and will continue to pray for intervention because I have faith in My Savior and in My Father to bless me and those I love... I know that; "...with men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Matt. 19:26." I have recently re-read a talk by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Shall He Find Faith on the Earth?,” Ensign, Nov 2002, pg 82... in which another encouraging scripture is quoted:

JOHN 14:12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do......

do you like family reunions?

Hubby and I are attending an extended family reunion today. For me this is a good thing, for hubby this is a lesson in endurance. He really dislikes large groups of people and worse yet, this is a group that he is only related to by marriage to me, (it's many of my maternal 1st cousins).

He is so good to me. *wink*

how lovely...

During spring break one year... (March of 2002) Son1 went on a Young Men's camp out with the bishop of our ward and some other leaders... I was looking through those pictures a few days ago and really noticed for the first time, I think... these beautiful landscapes he snapped... These are raw photos, absolutely no touch up or fixing was done to them... The location is near Tucson, AZ. Most of the pictures show a group having a lot of fun and being "boys". But these photos are just so lovely... I thought I would share how truly beautiful our state is...

So many people miss that beauty...

Lord, I Would Follow Thee...

The words of the hymn are poignant. It is, I believe, hubby's favorite hymn. But even if it is not his "favorite" the words are special to him:

Savior, may I learn to love thee,
Walk the path that thou hast shown,
Pause to help and lift another,
Finding strength beyond my own.
Savior, may I learn to love thee—
Lord, I would follow thee.

Hymns, no. 220
Text:Susan Evans McCloud, b. 1945. © 1985 IRI
Music: K. Newell Dayley, b. 1939. © 1985 IRI

I wish I did better at this... I need to practice more...

right this minute, I miss...

"walking" up a beautiful multi-colored autumn canyon trail and twinkling my toes in a stream after hiking for hours...

hearing my mother sing (just a little off key) sitting next to me in church...

holding one of my kids on my lap and telling that same story that I thought I just could not tell one more time, without going crazy...

running my fingers over the veins that stood out on the back of daddy's hands...

sitting around a campfire and thinking that if I reached up I could actually touch the heavens...

brushing the hair away from a feverish brow and praying for relief for my sweet child.

making "crowns" out of the dandelions that plagued many a lawn from the time I was old enough to braid...

watching that "just finished nursing" face of a baby... right before you know you better get them in their bed or they will wake up and your nap won't happen...

sitting in a hot bubble bath while reading a book I waited for weeks to come out....

feeling the wind race over my face as I sit on the porch just before a big storm hits...

listening to the excited voices of a dozen teenagers while playing a noisy game of "speed"...

and oddly enough, I even miss... figuring out where the "one" error is on a 350 page spreadsheet full of macros and corporate data that 10 other people did not find...

politics...

My "early-absentee" ballot was in the mail a couple days ago... I won't talk about how I voted except to say that I am a huge defender of marriage... traditional family.. and living within your means! I pray that all the different state propositions to uphold marriage and family in this nation win. Personally I believe that some of the Washington "Supercilious Crowd" who thought they were untouchable are on their way OUT, if my vote is an indication... AND if you ask me... which of course you didn't... this has been ONE of the worst, ONE of the ugliest, and ONE of the most frustrating elections I have seen in 33 years of casting my personal vote! Now this next part just has to be said (I have said it before in other places... but not here...) and then I promise I won't mention it again...

I am SICK and TIRED of this election year... this election year has actually gone on for two years, not one... and has been SO frustrating to me personally as I have tried to form enlightened opinions... the rhetoric from both major political parties and even "independent" sources has outreached anything coming close to reasonable... News has not come close to being unbiased on any subject... and frankly I am SICK of that too... even the people and propositions I supported in the end often stooped to hyperbole that was beyond anything helpful or reasonable. NOT a good way to win MY support!!!

I also want to say that I'm strictly a NO guns in my home type girl... That said, I think a good wallop upside the head with a big old cast iron frying pan to get the attention of all those "asleep at the wheel" types... is in order... (including to the many that seem determined to ignore "we the voters"...) Hopefully my vote helped to send just such a wallop to the ones that my vote had no direct effect on.

End comment... no need to mention probably that I am DONE listening to this campaign!

do you have any idea how silly you sound...???

Late yesterday evening I was reading some online articles and this thought [the title of my post]... kept running through my mind... Many of the things the writers are saying in completely legitimate news sources are just plan silly... not because of the topics... but because it seems that little thought is being put into the writing... it's like everyone is just writing now, thinking later...??? It's becomes this CACOPHONY of expression that has a minuscule effect... on me at least... I wander away from the "news" thinking... does he/she really think that? Do they realize how over the top silly that sounds? Are news people determine to just spout each other's journalism bias without even changing the thought a little?

Normally I like to read what a lot of different people are saying... and I find myself learning much... I often have an opinion... and hubby and I talk a lot about our thoughts and ideas... Many of the things I have read for the last 10 years on the internet have been good sources of "topics for discussion" between us... but lately good topics are getting hard to find... we both start laughing about the truly bizarre opinions we are reading, that are being touted as "news", and about all we can say are things like... Did I really read that??? What??? Seriously??? Are they kidding???

At least for me I guess it's fortunate that one of the most interesting things I have noticed is that I figure out pretty quickly that an article is going to make me feel this way early on, and I simply quit reading, thereby limiting the times that I get completely abused by this journalistic bias I see so much of... I wonder how many other people are doing that too? News has really changed...

make it simple...

needs over wants
family over things
love over desire
strength over weakness
determination over despondence
charity over greed
faith over fear

dating... [our style]

Hubby is such a GREAT sport...

Last night and tonight he is off... so yesterday after a good long nap for him during the morning and early afternoon... we watched a couple movies and ate snack-y leftovers stuff... enjoyed the chance to actually sleep at the same time... and then this morning we went to the store (I ran out of energy about half way through and he had to practically carry me home... ugh!) We got a Costco pizza for lunch, rested... both took a break to do some email (actually he's been reading to me from his computer about all the stupid decisions that congress has made over the last 10 years... when Pres Hinckley was telling US to get out of debt and live within our means, and we have been doing that... I am writing this...) now we are going to watch another movie this afternoon while we both probably fall asleep... [wink]

Even before our mid week date began he brought me some beautiful red roses the other day when I was feeling so blue without having talked to me that morning... and a card that made me cry it was so perfectly wonderful... So often life feels so completely lopsided to me... Hubby keeps saying that he is happy and enjoys our time together, no matter what my limitations are... and you know... he is such great date... I am so very blessed... and today despite some energy issues (in that I have none...) I am completely and totally happy... he says he is happy... I caulk all this happiness up to trying to our best to be in love and work together... I am convinced that marriages can't fail when you are BOTH working hard, no matter how ugly things might be within the peripheral areas of a relationship.

Okay, back to our date... I wonder if hubby would be interested in popcorn for dinner...???

...just get UP already!

There are times that I wonder... how did I work all those years... how did I make my body perform day after day... week after week... month after month...???

The last few weeks have been so bad for me, physically... I know I will pull out eventually, but I feel weak and vulnerable today. My brain feels tired from the struggle of crawling out of bed in pain and not getting the relief I need from the pain medication available to me, days have turned into weeks...

I have decided that today will be a "mental health day". One of those days that I sometimes needed to take while I was working...

Let's see... where is my Cary Grant DVD selection..................???

the words of a prophet...

For my personal study over the last 9+ months or so (since before Pres Hinckley passed away) I have been re-reading every conference address he made as a Prophet... I started to try and and read all his articles since becoming an apostle but that would take way more months... he's written and spoken VERY prolifically... anyway, one thing I noticed very quickly, starting in 1995 when he was first sustained is that his message is always one of optimism while encouraging us to do better... He and Pres. Monson have a lot in common that way... However, I didn't need to RE-READ Pres Hinckley words to remember that I have personal experience with his address from Oct 2003... 5 years ago today...

Let me give you a little background... That was a VERY difficult time for our family. Son1 was a senior in high school that fall... He turned 18 that Oct and for his birthday the only thing he wanted was to actually sit in the Conference Center, which we had never done to that point... So our family splurged and went to October General Conference. It seemed at the time a frivolous thing to do... but we pooled our resources and we stayed with friends... I am so glad we did it... for that year General Conference answered many questions... We listened to the Saturday morning session and something Pres Hinckley said in his opening Conference address about the state of the church... nearly burn a hole through my heart!

It was said that at one time the sun never set on the British Empire. That empire has now been diminished. But it is true that the sun never sets on this work of the Lord as it is touching the lives of people across the earth.

And this is only the beginning. We have scarcely scratched the surface. We are engaged in a work for the souls of men and women everywhere. Our work knows no boundaries. Under the providence of the Lord it will continue. Those nations now closed to us will someday be open. That is my faith. That is my belief. That is my testimony.

The little stone which was cut out of the mountain without hands is rolling forth to fill the earth (see Dan. 2:31–45; D&C 65:2).

To the Latter-day Saints everywhere, as we gather in this great conference I say, may God bless you. Keep the faith; be true to your covenants. Walk in the light of the gospel. Build the kingdom of God in the earth.

The Church is in wonderful condition and can and will improve. It will grow and strengthen.

We are ordinary people who are engaged in an extraordinary undertaking. We are men who hold the priesthood of the living God. Those who have gone before have accomplished wonders. It is our opportunity and our challenge to continue in this great undertaking, the future of which we can scarcely imagine.

Thank you, my brothers and sisters, for your faith and faithfulness. Thank you for the love you carry for this, the work of the Almighty. We live in the world. We work in the world. But we must rise above the world as we pursue the work of the Lord and seek to build His kingdom in the earth. Let us now join together in a great world conference of men and women who are indeed brothers and sisters as children of God.

During the next two days we shall hear from many of our number, not one of whom has been told what to speak about, but each one of whom has pleaded with the Lord to be able to say something that will help, inspire, and lift all who hear.

May the blessings of heaven attend you. May you be faithful and true to the great and glorious cause which you have embraced is my humble prayer, in the name of our Redeemer, even the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

It was as though I had answers to questions that had always plagued me... My mind was FILLED with answers though much of the conference... I wondered how I could possibly tell hubby all the things I suddenly understood as I listened to speaker after speaker... because I didn't even know how I could gain so much insight in a such a short period of time... but later as we discussed this talk in particular I knew HE was getting answers too... After several sacred and deeply personal spiritual experiences during that conference... I never once doubted that if we as a family always went to the Lord with our concerns He would guide us. Life did not suddenly turn around... there were still a lot of hard choices and difficult days ahead... but we made it through that hard time and I can see now how the Lord was guiding us, even when I couldn't see the front of the ship... He could... Now I always remember that He can see the part of my path I can't... I am here to tell you that we who profess to be followers of the Savior do not walk alone unless we choose to...

During the Sunday morning session I was filled with wonder and amazed at the messages of hope and answers to prayers that came to me... Each answer was burned into my soul with a fire of conviction, and increased my desire to be more optimistic and to do better in more areas ever day... I haven't had any really long term discouraging periods in my life since that Conference that we made so many sacrifices to attend. Discouragement quickly gives way to a desire to find hope and answers through the words of the prophet and I start reading/studying again and sure enough I find those answers...

At the end that same Conference... we were watching by television again as Pres Hinckley concluded the Conference with these words:

Pray for wisdom and understanding as you walk the difficult paths of your lives. If you are determined to do foolish and imprudent things, I think the Lord will not prevent you. But if you seek His wisdom and follow the counsel of the impressions that come to you, I am confident that you will be blessed.

Let us be a prayerful people. Let us bring up our children “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Enos 1:1). May the blessings of heaven deservedly rest upon you. In the words of Deuteronomy, “And now, Israel, what doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to fear the Lord thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul” (Deut. 10:12). Be assured, my dear brothers and sisters, that “He, watching over Israel, slumbers not, nor sleeps” (Felix Mendelssohn, Elijah).

For the blessings of heaven to rest upon you I humbly pray as I express to you my love for each of you. Thank you for your great kindness to me and your great faithfulness and energy in moving forward the work of the Almighty, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

The next spring Sister Hinckley would pass away... yet he never got morose or pessimistic... Pres Hinckley was an amazing teacher... mostly because he taught us how to love and how to serve and how to have faith, by example... additionally if I ever have fears, I only need to read one of his talks to feel immediately better...

Today, exactly 5 years later from when so many of my questions were answered at a difficult time in life... I am again looking for many answers... and with my family spread out to many parts of the state I am listening to (for a second day) the words of a Prophet of God on this glorious October morning... I have been and will continue to listen carefully so that I gain the insights that the Lord has for me... I wouldn't want to miss an important message like: "Do as much as you can do... then have FAITH...! Things will work out." That was very often Pres Hinckley's theme... and I need all the working mottos I can get.

the inevitable "movin' on-day"...

I only got teary for a few minutes when the U-Haul truck Sir Knight was driving rolled off down the road towing their car. Princess Bride was following behind driving their pick-up. To my credit after hubby drove me home, I didn't collapse into a chair with my empty arms crossing my chest and hanging on to my own shoulders or sob uncontrollably like a crazy woman after they left... (unfortunately THAT description was a little like what I did when Princess went to China to teach English a couple years ago... The FIRST time she left home for an extended time... that first separation was a little traumatic for the momma in me...) This time I am just left with a grateful heart for decent and happy kids and a wish that the miles were more easily crossed, to visit them as the future months roll along...

As the last of the refrigerator items stored in a cooler were being loaded into the pick-up, the truth hit me pretty strongly that our princess is not our baby girl any more... and she hasn't been for a long time... she been so grown up and responsible for a while now... she has a husband, her own life, and he is her "immediate" family to think of... to do what is best for... It's what we raised her to do... to be confident and to be independent of us... And now, our Princess Bride is a Princess Wife and she and her Sir Knight are moving on to their next not-so-newlywed adventure... They are moving to life in a town without any "birth family" present for either of them. They both have extended family there, which is helpful and supportive... but it's not quite the same as having a mom/dad/sister/brother close by... is it? It wasn't for me, but most people, including myself... survive it just fine...

And another truth is that Princess is our world traveler... she has always gone and done "stuff"... she loves adventure, has loved to travel with friends... She has traveled with extended family and traveled alone... Don't get me wrong... our beautiful princess, the wife in this young family will be fine... more than fine... We have great love for, and faith in, her hubby... who is truly a knight extraordinaire... and they are excited and happy for the new challenges and happy days that will be ahead for them in this new place. They will thrive in their love for each other...

It's us... you know their parents that will miss them, even while we know they are are just a quick 5 hour trip away... Not that we saw them daily when they lived close to us... but the possibility was there... Personally, I think it is a wonderful blessing these days to have email, cell phones with free long distance... Plus having the church in their lives with a ward family to rap loving arms around you and to help you in times of need, and bless your lives with their experiences and love.

So I realize that this is not a time for tears... at least not for them... the tears were just for me... you know, the over protective mom that is still learning to "let go and let God"...

Added 7 pm: Truck got unloaded pretty quickly, settling in is next. Princess sent a text photo of the living room... All the utilities are included... so they are set to go, just need to put the frig stuff away tonight... They will return the truck tomorrow morning (a day early). Beyond the frig, tonight their only plan was to set up the bed and crash... She sounded good... very upbeat when I talked to her... and yeah... they are both exhausted, but so happy to have the worst behind them. the unpacking will be pretty easy, cause Princess only moved what they needed... she is not my pack rat...

I have an important link to share!!!

I am not terribly keen on writing about politics... but please read this blog post regarding a Common Sense Fix [click here]... If you feel so inclined let your friends know that there are better ideas out there than the government borrowing MORE money, at a time when most American are already taxed to their limits... Yes we need to do something about the financial world but let's be reasonable... My friend has posted some very reasonable ideas... so I will let his words speak... ~PA