lessons of a lifetime ~

When I was growing up my mother worked nights... In fact I can't remember when she didn't work nights. She did it for more than 20 years ~ and I never thought about it much. It was just what mom did.  It was the way she helped dad to provide for the family.  I don't remember hearing her complain at all, but one time I remember when I was in high school she fell asleep driving home and hit a traffic light, in the left turn lane! Fortunately no one else was involved, but I remember that event scared me a LOT.!

A few years ago [ok, more than 13 years ago] I tried working nights for about a month ~ I was so exhausted I couldn't see straight, and I was CRABBY in the extreme, so I gave up on that approach and found a different job ~ after a very long search!  LOL  I found out that working nights was not for ME... but I still didn't appreciate my mom's sacrifice for her family.  I now understand why after momma retired daddy never wanted to be far from her side.  He missed her probably a LOT more than he ever let on all those years, so for the next 25+ years after her retirement, they were rarely separated, even in death.  They did so much together and had a BLAST doing it!

SEVEN years ago hubby started working nights, in a new field for him at the time. He had been back in school for almost 3 years, and we were just so GLAD for him to be working and NOT in school ~ neither of us cared that his new position was on nights... it was "temporary", [or so we thought at the time,] a year, maybe two...  What we didn't realize is that sometimes God [or fate if you prefer] has a different plan for your family, and you don't get your "first choice" in life. At least not after some level of sacrifice. So what started out as a short term foot in the door, turned into what at times felt like a long term "trap" from first one facility to a second one.  Don't get me wrong, he LOVES his job ~ we know that we made the right choice for hubby to work nights all this time ~ but seriously ~ night shift will kill you after you turn 50 and hubby was 50 when he "started" working nights ~ and the last year has felt like 5! [grimace]

Happily I've announce just about everywhere that in just over 2 weeks hubby will start working days for the first time in 7 years [+2 weeks and 3 days]. An eternity! ;-)  But what's a bit more interesting in this story is not how happy this truth makes me, [for I am SURLY as happy as I have every been about this new schedule to our lives], I have been thinking about momma a LOT and what it must have been like for her and daddy while she worked all those years in hospitals as an Aide, nights. I know she SAID she preferred nights... [but then, so did hubby ~ in his case it was something of a brain scam, so that he didn't get crabby ~ I think].  But was it really her preference or was she just doing what thousands of other parents have done during their lives ~ the best they can, and whatever they need to ~ to make a better existance for their family?

I know my respect for my mother has been high nearly all my adult life, but these last few years of going through night shifts with hubby ~ my feelings of admiration for my mother have grown beyond previous bounds.  I think she was stronger than the $6M woman to work nights all those years!

Momma, I know you are watching at times, and at special moments I feel you close ~ so please know that I am grateful you gave me such an amazing example of selflessness to grow up with.  I don't come close to matching you, in any stretch of the imagination ~ but you help me find the strength to do things and be someone I am sure I would never have approached without you ~ to somehow dig a bit deeper and find something I didn't guess was there.

I miss you terribly, but ~ when I do good sometimes, I hear you inside my head cheering me on!  What a WOMAN you are momma!  How you ever survived 20+ years of night shifts all the way to 62+ years, is anyone's guess!  ;-)  It sure make you MY hero, and beyond glad we didn't have to follow in your footsteps for another 13+ years.

I only hope I can take another page from your example and enjoy the next chapter in hubby's and my eternity ~ and our time together!