of birthdays, families, and fun...

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

First of all... my definition of family is pretty large and broad... I know people that I consider "like" family that are not in the narrowest of definitions, family... those extensions of our family were not at the Son2's birthday celebration yesterday... but all the children born into our family and their spouses were together, in our clan's home, for this wonderful happy event...

It was a surprise... one that Son2 evidently didn't catch on to, even though there were many times over the last month of planning we were afraid he did... It was hard to keep the secret without flat out lying to him... I used a lot of phrases like... "I am not sure if..." and "whoever makes it..." since he knew I was making a big birthday meal for his big day and at one point he told me I didn't need to cook a big elaborate dinner just for 3 of us... he he he... Little did he know...

Our efforts were SOOOOO worth the joy and happiness that he shared with having all his siblings here... not to mention the family fun... Saturday evening Princess Bride, Sir Knight got in, in time to go with Son 2 to a movie with a couple of his long time friends... Dinner on Sunday included games after, with his siblings and in-laws and a LOT of laughing and teasing... How fun that ALWAYS is... We even had all the family dogs here together and they had a lot of fun too...

The meal was fabulously delicious... compliments again from some wonderful copy-cat recipes I found online... and amazingly similar to one of our favorite eating spots "Chipotle Mexican Grill"... We had it all, the rice, beans, grilled meat, veggies, lettuce, along with the many salsas, topping it all with guacamole and sour cream... choice of tortillas and how you wanted to add/stack your chosen ingredients... chips and more salsa if desired... Man was the food great... and we did almost all the cooking and prep work in the days before, so the meal was pretty easy to pull together and just lay out in a buffet style setting...

Desert was a birthday "brownie" served with ice cream and a birthday song to my baby boy who is not even close to being a baby any more... but will always be MY little boy... (in the same way I was always something of the little girl my mom knew when we were together...) A child's relationship with parents/siblings... family... is so individual and dynamic... always changing... it is such a marvel to me... and my love for my children grows and grows with each year even as it changes within the dynamics of life and experience... Their choices are of course not always the ones I would choose... but they are working out for themselves their own lives and doing a pretty great job of it, in my estimation, most of the time... They prove me wrong sometimes and I am reminded that experience is not often wasted...

Son2 is leaving in a couple months for boot camp... I have mentioned before that this was a surprising decision for us to hear... it is one we are becoming more accustomed to, and we are certainly proud of his desire to serve his country... As a Marine we will be limited to the amount of time we get to see him over the next few years... (all those HE calls family... which like me, is also pretty extensive...) Limited for what family events he gets to come home for... That is generally true when children leave home, no matter what the circumstance... be it college, a mission, work, or in Son2's case, military life... We will miss him... As his parents we hope he will always know and trust that truth... As much as we know that he needs to be on his own and much as we respect that each of our children need their own lives away from us, this time has come amazingly fast... suddenly almost it will be just the 2 of us again... and there is a part of me that knows life will be just a bit empty once all the chicks have flown...

Though I am finding new adventures to fill my time with as well... [and hubby and I are best friends so it is not a hard sell to spend time together...] my husband and children... my immediate family... will always be the central focus and most important part of who I show my greatest love, support and loyalty to... It is easy to also share my heart and love with others... to share all kinds of experiences with extended family and those that become like family, through deep faith, friendship and challenges... But that core... that "part" of me that is heart-string-tied together through the a lifetime of joys and sometimes bitter tears or fear and grief... who are connected to each other by the bonds of love, blood and marriage, is not ever going to be less important to me than they are right now... As individuals we are none of us even close to perfect, we know that... but as a family unit we are so much greater and stronger as a whole... so good together as a group... That family love grows stronger each time we make an effort to build on it's base... what an amazing gift that is...

Last evening as we laughed, talked and teased each other, I thought about those concepts to myself... regarding happiness, and eternal love... I thought again that, of course families go on forever... they simply HAVE to... and my heart and soul are absolutely sure of that truth the older I get, the more faith I have in that principle... I feel so blessed to have the whole family I do... and blessed to have the hubby and children I do, especially... and also blessed to have a vision of the future and what it can be... perhaps, hopefully... forever...

the few, the proud, the [mom] tears....

I am more than a little surprised to be adjusting to the roll of "Marine Mom..." Honestly I never once considered that I would EVER be one... the Navy was once something Son1 considered, as a way after his mission to get schooling covered... even the possibly of Military Reserve stints of some kind was something hubby and I saw as a possibility for any of our sons, or "adopted sons" at some time in their lives... so I do not object to military service... In fact I have great respect for all the wonderful men and women who serve in our armed forces... I know that many service men and women complete difficult and arduous jobs daily to keep our country safe... I have had many friends in the past, and have a few currently, who are serving in one branch of the military or another... but the Marines are a whole level of intensity that I never considered for my sons, even once... especially when Son2's personality is the focus of consideration...

Son2 has always been my "pacifist" child... he has always made fun of those that were "joiners" (of practically anything, when he was in HS)... and he is my artist... has the heart of a creator, not what I would ever have seen as a warrior, but I guess I missed a part of him that has been there, all along, just less visible. He has a burning desire to serve his country and he wants to do it right now, so that is what he is doing.

He passed his physical last week after his medical records were very carefully reviewed... since he is a lightning survivor... there was a need to obtain pre-approval, to even send him down for a physical from the recruiters office... and no one he talked to had ever met a survivor before... so he got a chance to recount the story more times than he wanted, I'm sure... But he is in good physical shape and has no trouble already passing the boot requirements, (pull-up, sit-up, and running minimums...) and he is training to become even stronger before entering...

He is waiting currently on the process, to find out what his ship date will be, and which of his education/training choices will be his future... so there are still many questions... but he is in, and working on what he can do to get ready for the very strenuous physical life of a Marine.

A year ago his goal was submitting his mission paperwork at this juncture in his life... and I would be a liar if I did not admit that this change in his plans over the last weeks has taken me some time to adjust to... Still, we love him and pray for his happiness and success as any parent does their child, even when they don't completely understand their choices... We also hope and encourage him that as he moves forward he will remember his faith and commitment to following the Commandments of God at all times. That he will be a good example to those he serves with and perhaps in that way be a missionary to his future friends in the military.

I take comfort that not every person's life follows the same path, and I certainly know that mine did not fit many of the "molds" I imagined I would fill when I was younger... I am learning to allow my children to find their own paths... it's a hard task... this letting go of adult children... I don't suppose parents ever really get used to it... even if you have a dozen kids...