holding hands...

I really like Laura Brotherson. Her writings make sense to me... The "linked to article" I have included here is a good example. Her book "And They Were Not Ashamed:" is another good example. I am hardly the expert she is on relationships... and I am not really going to focus on the two topics I linked to here... With my post today I have decided to focus on one that to me is just as important as the definition of marriage, or marital fidelity and intimacy because I believe that daily, loving expressions of selflessness are the backbone of my very happy/good marriage...

During our "love month", I want to comment on the need for daily physical connections in marriage, and especially appropriate public displays of affection. One of the things that hubby and I enjoy is a strong physical connection all the time... but I am not a huge fan of "embarrassing levels" of physical contact in public.

Because we love so deeply though, holding hands has become very much a part of our public lives, because it is important to us that we "connect" physically... a lot. If you are married and you have NOT held hands for a while, I encourage you to take advantage of the simple gift of touch. Holding hands can be a very powerful expression of love. Hubby has taught me that we can express to each other nearly as much love in the simple act of holding hands as we can in more intimate moments. No one else is aware of how profoundly personal our hand holding moments "can" be, and I admit that most of the time we are just holding hands... but hubby and I are aware of just how much is communicated in a simple act of reaching out, when there IS something that needs or wants saying.

For many... "holding hands" is too simple, too public, or possibly even too corny... How sad I think those attitudes are. Holding hands in my opinion is a great way to LEARN better communication skills. In our "anything goes" society of physical expression... holding hands is a good way to learn how to communicate in a publicly appropriate way... without embarrassing the rest of the world... And honestly we have learned to say a LOT within those simple touches of public fingertips...

Of course eye contact has also been a big part of our public touch, very often... but after a while we have gotten to where we do not need to see the other person's eyes. In a darkened movie theater or in a car with the driver keeping his/her eyes on the road... we can still communicate volumes of words with a simple touch of hands. After 25 years practicing these hand holding skills we can say, "I'm sorry", "I hurt with you", or "I am scared" (not to mention other things...) without any other communication efforts coming into play. That is a pretty good thing to be able to do, if you ask me...

So, if you aren't taking advantage of hand holding currently in your marriage... or if you are recently engaged... I invite you to try holding hands... Then see just how good you can get at this art of communication....