I've been thinking about this idea since our church meetings this last Sunday. There were a couple of comments that were made in Relief Society that started me thinking about this idea.
I know that there are some people that are "less lovable" at times of their lives... but I started wondering... are there people that are and stay "unlovable" for always? A few sisters in my ward seem to think so... Maybe I just have not met anyone that difficult to love... but I always thought that everyone had some sort of lovable attribute... at the very least one, and usually several...
I have known teens that made it really hard to love them... I have siblings that have attributes that are difficult for me to connect with, and I've had times during my life when I didn't get along with my parents and in-laws... I also recognize that there are many people in my ward, stake and extended community that I don't have much in common with and that I don't particularly care for even... but they appear to have friends and are lovable to some other people... so I never thought of them as unlovable... but Sunday last, 2 different people mentioned that they knew completely "unlovable individuals"... people that had no apparent friends, and were so caustic around others that they seemed to have no one that even wanted to communicate with them, and that they felt some less lovable people can become unlovable by not trying to be more likable to those around them...
This was honestly one of the most depressing thoughts I have ever heard of. I started wondering... isn't loving others a choice in many instances of our lives? Isn't it better, at the very least, to tolerate with patience and love those we view as less lovable, rather than risk being considered not worth the effort to love by our Savior, when it comes to loving the parts He finds less lovable about us?
These thoughts and concepts have been on my mind a lot the last few days... and I am working through my own personal struggle with this... and especially as it effect my husband and children... trying harder to accept and even learn to love what is less lovable about those in my circle of life and love... I am not completely sure how this will turn out, but the effort feels essential to MY salvation... I really do not see it as important to those who may I view, as having less lovable attributes, some days... I need to learn to love the way the Lord loves me... warts and all...
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4 comments:
A thought- provoking post, Polly. My first thought is of Moroni 7: 48
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure.
On a couple of occasions, I recall having uncharitable feelings toward individuals. I prayed for my own heart to be softened, and that I could love them again, and it truly was accomplished.
Those are good thoughts. I'm having a real struggle right now with loving my dad. He's one of those caustic people who seems to deliberately drive people away. He has no friends. The rest of the family loves him, but they do it by not really expecting anything from him. Like he can say any rude terrible thing he wants and no one expects him to apologize. He does have lovable qualities, but he seems to flaunt his unlovable qualities a lot more.
I'm trying to figure out whether it's more loving to not expect any good behavior from him, or more loving to expect him to act civilized and be rational. Permissiveness isn't always love.
That's a good point Melinda... I think your kind of situation is somewhat like the ones that the sisters in my ward were talking about... Realistically there isn't anyone in my life like that...
I have been pretty irritable about my health challenges lately, so if you were to ask my family they might say "I" was like that... ugh...
Polly, I can't imagine you ever being like that because you know that your behavior might be unpleasant to be around, and you probably apologize and try to do better. My dad has apologized once in his life. Really. The words "I'm sorry" have crossed his lips once in more than 60 years. It's really weird.
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