eternal love...

Love doesn't end at death... Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that... Because of that truth, in my opinion, the eternal nature of family just makes sense... Love also does not start with losing someone... It starts with spending time and energy in a relationship while they are a part of our lives. Which brings me to the most important relationships we will have in this life... they are the family connections we work so hard to develop, with a happy marriage being the crowning achievement that many couples strive for... But, do we do enough in our here and NOW to encourage "eternal love"? Most of us could probably use some work at this...

Yesterday hubby and I had a date in the middle of the day, he'd had the night before off from work... and after a leisurely morning, we ran some errands and then had an late lunch/early dinner together... We'd spent the evening before watching a DVD and cuddling, laughing at the show we were watching and relishing in the chance to hold hands as we fell into a peaceful sleep... (holding hands is one of our favorite communication avenues...)

We spent a while talking during our errands and lunch about this or that... not terribly important stuff... Some of our conversation centered around current events, some was sharing interesting opinions... we joked about the too large portion that hubby's salad contained with the manager of the restaurant... and remembered again why we usually share a meal... (Hubby's eyes were bigger than his stomach and so I splurged on a very wonderful gourmet burger and ignored most of my fries, while he ordered the "I can't believe how big this is" salad... yummy, but WAY too much food...) Through the day hubby held the doors for me as is his custom (and something I am very glad he taught our sons...) We shared stolen kisses here and there and murmured words of love... it was a lovely morning... then we watched another DVD together until hubby fell sleep in the early afternoon, in preparation of working last night.

I spent the afternoon thinking and writing in my journal about this day... It's not really an unusual day for us, but I had a kind of ah ha moment... Even though we have repeated a similar type of event very often over our 25+ years of marriage, I realized something about the quality of our relationship these days... The truth is that we still "date" each other... meaning that I realized that we don't just have date nights... we "date"... all the time... we are still dating even when we aren't together... just like when, previous to our wedding day, we were falling in love... all those many years ago... We often send private messages to each other... little love notes and words of encouragement... We used to have to work harder at sending notes... but now with electronic means of communication sending notes is so easy... and we use email, a lot...

Sometimes his notes to me are sent in the middle of the night while he is working and I am sleeping... I wake up to read these wonderful reminders of hubby's love, and they start my day so beautifully... The notes I send are often collected and read by hubby during lulls in his work schedule, or while on a break... It may sound mushy and unreal to some, but we really enjoy our "lifetime dating" relationship... It's fun to be not just married but eternal sweethearts...

While I constantly pray that my children and grandchildren will be a part of my family for eternity... and that we will all be together forever... it is my relationship with hubby that completes my heart... Even when we are apart I feel his love, and have many reminders of it... I know that he works as hard as he does for me, for us... I know that he would spend every minute with me, if he could... but we also know that work and commitments outside of our relationship are a part of life and learning as well... That includes the need to provide service to many others too... not just working, but giving of ones time and means... Personally I think we have learned a valuable secret... that time away from each other doesn't have to separate us... it can actually help us be more connected... we have learned how to share our separated time... and it's not really as hard as it sounds...

You will both need to constantly work at that eternal love you want to share... The good news is that whatever works for a couple can be a way to keep the romance alive forever... It doesn't cost anything to say I love you and mean it... and it doesn't take too much effort once you get into the habit of really loving to find new and inventive ways to express your love... It is a wonderful feeling to know... really and truly KNOW that what you share with the one you love... is an eternal love...