Happy New Year

“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.”

~ Irish Blessing

. . .the joys of the season ~

It's never hard to find something we want, something currently out of our reach, or something lost.  Like a lot of other people I have spent too much time in my life mourning wishes and losses.  While doing that we all miss opportunities for happy moments and joy with the people and blessings we do have in our lives.

Especially at this time of year we can get so involved in getting ready for Christmas we sometimes miss out on the holiday completely if we're not careful.  I have been as guilty of that as the next guy too, but for the last few years hubby and I have been trying not to lose ourselves in such efforts.  We have tried to focus on time together and with our family.  We have been happier doing that.

We still celebrate, give and receive gifts, and we still decorate... [albeit in a much simpler way ~ out of necessity].  We are trying to focus on the reasons for the celebration itself.  In honor of that idea, for the rest of this month I will be trying to capture with my camera lens some of what we associate with Christmas and New Years.  Please feel free to catch that series of photos on my 365 project blog.

I am winding down on my project.  I will be done on the 31st and since hubby gave me the camera last year for Christmas it seems only fitting that I spend these last few days capturing some of the holiday spirit that prompted him to give me a gift that has helped me grow this last year outside my own comfort zone.  Next year I will be choosing a new way to share my joy at owning such a nice camera, more on that next month.

I wish I was brave...

…like my dad, and my mom ~ like grandparents and so many others that I love who have gone, but who lived their lives as examples to me.  I wish I could be a better example to my own children.  My parents, and other long gone loved ones, they all showed me years ago how to be strong in the face of pain, frustration, and discouragement. In fact I saw just about every physical limitation you can think of dealt with ~ in patience and faith by my own parents.

I witnessed the personal struggles of some of these people I love the most, admittedly I wasn't right in the room with all of them for many of their personal journeys in life… but I saw enough over my years to know how hard it was for them to have physical limitation, and have to have help with every little thing in some cases. In my head I understand how to deal with pain and all the stuff that goes with it… but to actually live with new limitations every few years gracefully?  Well, in my opinion that IS hard, and I recognize I am really lousy at it.!  Even after all these years of dealing with my disease, add just one new pain, or challenge and I head over the falls, practically over night.  Fortunately, all those strong "genes" kick in eventually and I hitch up a boot strap or two and get on with the program at hand...

I am trying to do better at looking for the positives and skimming over the negatives.  I was recently counseled to look at what is right in my life instead of what is wrong.  That's good advice, and I AM trying ~ but man is it hard to remember that, every minute, of every day.

Still I know how very blessed I am and I thank the Lord each morning for another day to try and do better at what ever I need to do better at.  The list seems to get longer rather than shorter... LOL  But I'm not gonna give up now.  If nothing else I need to prove to myself that I can do this!

In God We Trust

I have no idea where this story came from, but it is really worth passing along ~ [get out your kleenex]
~~~~~~~~~~
I just wanted to get the day over with and go down to Smokey's. Sneaking a look at my watch, I saw the time, 1655. Five minutes to go before the cemetery gates are closed for the day. Full dress was hot in the August sun. Oklahoma summertime was as bad as ever--the heat and humidity at the same level--both too high.

I saw the car pull into the drive, '69 or '70 model Cadillac Deville, looked factory-new. It pulled into the parking lot at a snail's pace.. An old woman got out so slow I thought she was paralyzed; she had a cane and a sheaf of flowers--about four or five bunches as best I could tell.

I couldn't help myself. The thought came unwanted, and left a slightly bitter taste: 'She's going to spend an hour, and for this old soldier, my hip hurts like hell and I'm ready to get out of here right now!' But for this day, my duty was to assist anyone coming in.

Kevin would lock the 'In' gate and if I could hurry the old biddy along, we might make it to Smokey's in time.

I broke post attention. My hip made gritty noises when I took the first step and the pain went up a notch. I must have made a real military sight: middle-aged man with a small pot gut and half a limp, in marine full-dress uniform, which had lost its razor crease about thirty minutes after I began the watch at the cemetery.

I stopped in front of her, halfway up the walk. She looked up at me with an old woman's squint.

'Ma'am,may I assist you in any way?'

She took long enough to answer.

'Yes, son. Can you carry these flowers? I seem to be moving a tad slow these days.'

'My pleasure, ma'am.' Well, it wasn't too much of a lie.

She looked again. 'Marine, where were you stationed?'

' Vietnam , ma'am.. Ground-pounder. '69 to '71.'

She looked at me closer. 'Wounded in action, I see. Well done, Marine. I'll be as quick as I can.'

I lied a little bigger: 'No hurry, ma'am.'

She smiled and winked at me. 'Son, I'm 85-years-old and I can tell a lie from a long way off... Let's get this done. Might be the last time I can do this. My name's Joanne Wieserman, and I've a few Marines I'd like to see one more time.'

'Yes, ma 'am. At your service.'

She headed for the World War I section, stopping at a stone. She picked one of the flowers out of my arm and laid it on top of the stone. She murmured something I couldn't quite make out.. The name on the marble was Donald S. Davidson, USMC: France 1918.

She turned away and made a straight line for the World War II section, stopping at one stone. I saw a tear slowly tracking its way down her cheek. She put a bunch on a stone; the name was Stephen X.Davidson, USMC, 1943.

She went up the row a ways and laid another bunch on a stone, Stanley J. Wieserman, USMC, 1944..

She paused for a second. 'Two more, son, and we'll be done'

I almost didn't say anything, but, 'Yes, ma'am. Take your time.'

She looked confused.. 'Where's the Vietnam section, son? I seem to have lost my way.'

I pointed with my chin. 'That way, ma'am.'

'Oh!' she chuckled quietly. 'Son, me and old age ain't too friendly.'

She headed down the walk I'd pointed at. She stopped at a couple of stones before she found the ones she wanted. She placed a bunch onLarry Wieserman, USMC, 1968, and the last on Darrel Wieserman, USMC, 1970. She stood there and murmured a few words I still couldn't make out.

'OK, son, I'm finished. Get me back to my car and you can go home.'

Yes, ma'am. If I may ask, were those your kinfolk?'

She paused. 'Yes, Donald Davidsonwas my father, Stephen was my uncle, Stanley was my husband,Larry and Darrel were our sons. All killed in action, all marines.'

She stopped. Whether she had finished, or couldn't finish, I don't know. She made her way to her car, slowly and painfully.
I waited for a polite distance to come between us and then double-timed it over to Kevin, waiting by the car.
'Get to the 'Out' gate quick.. I have something I've got to do.'


Kevin started to say something, but saw the look I gave him. He broke the rules to get us there down the service road. We beat her. She hadn't made it around the rotunda yet.

'Kevin, stand at attention next to the gatepost. Follow my lead.' I humped it across the drive to the other post.

When the Cadillac came puttering around from the hedges and began the short straight traverse to the gate, I called in my best gunny's voice: 'TehenHut! Present Haaaarms!'

I have to hand it to Kevin; he never blinked an eye--full dress attention and a salute that would make his DI proud.
She drove through that gate with two old worn-out soldiers giving her a send-off she deserved, for service rendered to her country, and for knowing duty, honor and sacrifice.

I am not sure, but I think I saw a salute returned from that Cadillac.

Instead of 'The End,' just think of 'Taps.'

As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer: 'Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in your loving hands and protect them as they protect us.'

Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.

'In God We Trust.'

The Fern and The Bamboo

Sometimes the physical limitations of my body get me down... Today I found this inspiring story and thought I would share it: ~~~

The Fern and The Bamboo

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality.... I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me.

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" "Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

"In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. The same in year four.

"Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

"Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle. Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others." He said.

"The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.

"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high."
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest, realizing that God has not given up on me. Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences. Both are essential to life.

half way...

I mentioned a while back that Son1 joined the Navy.  He is now just about half way done.

Sweetee received a couple short phone calls and some letters.  More letters will arrive and at least one more phone call to tell her she is officially a Navy Wife.  The time is moving along, although not nearly fast enough for those of us waiting for the trip to go see him graduate from Recruit Training Command.

I've never been to IL and so it will be fun to see a new part of the country.  Hubby and I are taking the train and making a real vacation out of it.  We are also celebrating out 27th anniversary on the trip home and are stopping off for 4 days in a very special spot where I have a lot of family history.

The train trip itself should be an adventure, as we have reserved a sleeping unit on the train, and that means we'll be in a private compartment for the whole trip.  Meals are included.  It's another second honeymoon.  We try to take one every year, but it's only worked out about half the time. I think this year's is the 15th, so not too shabby. 

I am almost as excited about this trip as I was our cruise... Seems a million years ago since our cruise.  So much has happened in our lives.  I am excited to see our son in uniform and I am super excited to see new places and spend time with hubby... away from home where he can't get called in to work.

This morning I simply feel grateful for my life. I have a fabulous hubby, he is the focus of my heart and time.  He is the love of my life.  I love my children and am grateful for the blessing to see them grow into adult people that give back to the world.  I have a home that is safe and secure.  I feel so blessed.

hummingbird watching

I don't have the energy for much lately, but watching the hummingbird feeder hubby added to our back yard a few weeks ago is always fascinating and fun.  I can sit in a lawn chair and hear and see a wondrous ballet and symphony. 

Here are just a few of the shots I have taken.

...on losing a loved one.

Everyone's experience is different, because we are all different.  Individual ways of coping, grieving and mourning are also, very often, different.  The way I grieve and the way hubby grieves are worlds apart.  That doesn't mean either is better or worse.  They just are, and they are wildly different.

Each of my children have different ways of grieving... some things they have taken from their father, some things they have taken from me, and some things are very individual to them... just as I am alike/different than my parents... Just as hubby is alike/different than his parents.

Still no matter how different the ways are, grieving happens in every life as a part of living.  The grief that accompanies death is one that no one can escape forever.  We all lose loved ones.  Recently I lost someone I love, someone I grew to love even more as I cared for her for the last 5 months of her life.

On Friday night my mother-in-law passed away.  She left this earth very peacefully.  She must have, we had a monitor present that caught every sound she made and we didn't hear anything.  The first indication I had that their was a problem was when our Tucker woke me up and indicated that "gramma" needed something.  It was dark, 11 o'clock.

For the last few month the pups were my alarm system...  They knew when mom was awake, when she was anxious, when she was "looking for the exit"... and even when she was starting to get hungry.  They gave me little "signs" that I needed to pay closer attention to her needs, and figure out what was wrong... The ability they had to understand her needs, even when she couldn't express them, fascinated me...  I found it very comforting that they were the ones that noticed right away that mom had left us...  Tucker warned us probably within minutes of mom "crossing over", as she put it to me a few months ago in a conversation we had.

That conversation happened not long after we moved them here.  We had been to visit my father-in-law at the facility he resides in, and she said to me in the car going home... "He's dying, you know?"  I indicated that I understood that too... but he wasn't worse than he had been so I told her "not for a while probably yet."  She stared out the window and after a long pause said... "I'm not afraid of crossing over.  I know my Savior, and I am not afraid. When it's time I will be happy."  I appreciated her sharing that opinion with me.  Within minutes of those comments her "clarity" was gone again.

That conversation has come to my mind several times over the last two weeks... There were occasionally some tense moments for her, but at the very end I believe she was very much at peace.

Earlier this summer I read this quote and it stuck with me:

Robert Blatchford, in his book God and My Neighbor, attacked with vigor the accepted Christian beliefs, such as God, Christ, prayer, and immortality. He boldly asserted: “I claim to have proved everything I set out to prove so fully and decisively that no Christian, however great or able he may be, can answer my arguments or shake my case.” He surrounded himself with a wall of skepticism. Then a surprising thing happened. His wall suddenly crumbled to dust. He was left exposed and undefended. Slowly he began to feel his way back to the faith he had scorned and ridiculed. What had caused this profound change in his outlook? His wife died. With a broken heart, he went into the room where all that was mortal of her lay. He looked again at the face he loved so well. Coming out, he said to a friend: “It is she and yet it is not she. Everything has changed. Something that was there before is taken away. She is not the same. What can be gone if it be not the soul?”

Later he wrote: “Death is not what some people imagine. It is only like going into another room. In that other room we shall find … the dear women and men and the sweet children we have loved and lost.” (God and My Neighbor, Chicago: Charles H. Kerr and Co.) ~ Thomas S. Monson, “‘I Know That My Redeemer Lives’,” Ensign, Apr 1990, 2

That thought, ~ that mom had just gone into another room ~ a room which I couldn't physically see came to me as I was there in the room and hubby searched for signs of life.  Her body still warm for some time yet, but I knew that she, the woman we all knew, loved, and will miss was gone from the room, no one had to tell me.  Hubby needed his stethoscope to be medically sure she was gone, but I could feel that she had crossed over.

It was a precious gift to experience the last few months with mom.  It wasn't easy... but then, few really worthwhile things are...  I am grateful to all who supported us in our efforts to allow mom to stay at home.  We feel it was what she truly wanted.  She was happy here.  She had her "Precious" [Chloe], hubby's presence comforted her a lot... and she was on the whole content.  Towards the end there were hospice workers, hired caregivers, friends, and family, that helped in so many ways... too many people to name individually.

I know many of them feel the loss I feel, as well.  She was a sweet lady in many ways.  She tried so hard to be polite even when she was so confused all the time.  In time the pain of loss I feel will fade and the waves of grief will only be light sprays of longing... for a voice I miss, the touch of an aged hand, the joyful laughter and smiles that could light up a room, but are now silent and still...

Loss reminds us to appreciate the ones we still have with us. That is a very good thing to do.  So to those that I still hold close:  I love you.  I appreciate you.  Thank you for being a part of my life.  I don't say all of those things nearly often enough.

Strange Truths For Mature Humans

[courtesy of my darling Texas-sister-in-love]
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Budweiser than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

to quote...

~ Leo Buscaglia ~

Ancient Egyptians believed
that upon death

they would be
asked two questions

and their answers
would determine

whether they could continue
their journey in the afterlife.

The first question was,
"Did you bring joy?"

The second was,
"Did you find joy?"

...grandma's got a "new do"!

Today I took my mother-in-law to have her hair cut.  She had a stoke last Sunday and her ability to help me take care of all her grooming needs is more limited and so I felt it necessary to choose something that could be washed and dried from a chair, because showers and baths are a lot harder for her now...  It's very short and sassy, and thanks to the magic hands of a good hairdresser/friend here in town she just looks soooo super cute!   I asked her... "mom can you give me a smile, I want to take your picture", and she said "yes"... then she looked right at the camera and gave me THIS...  I chuckled, but she didn't even move a single muscle, until I snapped the shot, she just awaited like that for me to take her picture. Honestly I haven't seen her smile since the stroke, so maybe this WAS a smile... but whatever, if I am this beautiful when I am 80, have dementia, and suffer the effect of a stroke I'll count myself lucky. I think she looks really GREAT!  Thanks Mary!

...a picture says a thousand words!

Anyone that knows Hubby knows he dislikes having his picture taken. I have to admit, I am not much better, I tend to see myself as old and fat in pictures any more, so I think, "why?" But he got me this great camera last Christmas so really he shouldn't be surprised that I want to take pictures of him/us.

Monday we had respite care in to take care of MIL and spent the evening with Son1 and Sweetee. Hubby was not going to be able to go down for Son1's "farewell" dinner, the night before he left for boot, so we planned an evening so that Son1 could say goodbye and spend some time with his dad... we had dinner and a fun time together. We were over at the square (downtown), I was snapping random shots trying to get something to put up on my 365, which is behind schedule, and we came to the courthouse steps. They called out "photo-op" so I lined up Son1 and Sweetee first, and this is the cute shot of got of them...

Hubby was less thrilled when I explained I wanted the same pose for us! "You just took pictures of us" he commented. (On Aug 7th, I got a snap of us together when we stopped at a lookout point.) So, the first shot shows his true feelings about pictures, LOL.

But actually the second one is the money shot, because he really is not only a good sport, but a fun date, 27 years, 3 kids and a million kisses later!

All of this is going on with me behind him and Son1 on the shutter... I had no idea.  When I started editing the pictures I laughed myself silly.

However did I get so LUCKY to find this wonderful, faithful, good-for-me, man?

Can I just say...

that I am blown away by the little kids that are starting HS this year! hahaha

Several of my younger friends with children that are at different stages than my kids posted on facebook (with pictures no less) that this or that child is starting [various grades] at school, as this new year starts. My interest turned to SHOCK when I realized how many of the little kids Princess Bride babysat when she was a high schooler are now at the same age she was ~ then!

Kids just grow up soooo fast. All my own kids are adults, as are all the ones we adopted out of love, and generally because they were friends of our kids and we saw them a lot so considered them as extensions of our family. Some of those kids have kids now too.

Yeah, I know... "it's the circle of life" ~ as Disney put it in The Lion King... but it's still kind of weird when you drive down the street and pass a kid you remember in the back seat in a car seat (but whose not someone you see every day) driving the car now!

Seriously weird and scary! LOL

Monsoons make me so happy!

I am a desert rat.!

Generally I like living in the high desert where it is cooler than other parts of AZ, and really my personal comfort zone is around 78 degrees, which is more like spring around here... not summer... I also prefer the drier climate of the SW most of the time because of multiple allergies. Still ~ when the monsoons start every year I am happy, happy, happy.! So I guess I am a rain lover too, who'd have thunk it? LOL

We have had a great monsoon season this year. Lots of clouds and generous amounts of precipitation. I LOVElovelove it!

Frowning makes you look old...

This morning a somewhat silly children's song was running through my mind as I woke up. I am going to have all my kids together again this weekend. That just makes me feel happy. So, I am smiling and humming as I work on breakfast or my mother-in-law.

My kids will remember that we sang this little ditty while cleaning their rooms years ago, (or other unpleasant tasks...) For those of you unfamiliar with the words:

When you chance to meet a frown,
Do not let it stay,
Quickly turn it upside down,
And smile that frown away.

No one likes a frowny face,
Trade it for a smile,
Make the world a better place,
By smiling all the while.

I may have gotten one or two of the words wrong, but that's pretty close to the way I remember we sang it. While the song itself is completely random, and doesn't allow for the idea that we have the right to feel bad when bad things happen, - many times we would be better served by simply putting a smile on our faces and getting on with life rather than wallowing in sadness as is often the preference for some people I know. Still, please know I'm not taking about depression or any other real struggle. I am only talking about "smiling".

Researchers have shown that smiling makes you look younger. Really? They needed to fund a study to learn that? hahaha That fact only makes sense. Look around at the people you see today while you are out and about ~ you will notice that the ones that are smiling look younger and are more attractive ~ in general. So my reasons for wanting to smile more has nothing to do with having so much to be grateful for. I simply want to look better in the mirror. hahaha

Besides, I am honestly and seriously tired of all the grim news, and the doom and gloom. So, the economy is bad ~ get over it... and welcome to MY world. Our family's economy was bad for years before the rest of the world caught up... LOL We ("personally") aren't in any worse shape than we were 20 years ago. Some of our kids are struggling more than we would like to see, because of employment losses... And we still have medical debt we wish we didn't. We still have to budget carefully to pay all our bills. And we still pray for jobs for everyone in our family and hope that we can keep up. But we have been doing that our whole married life.

For anyone that lives in a vacuum and hasn't heard it before, here is MY secret to survival: (it's the same advice wise men and women all over encourage...) Never give up on dreaming WHILE you ~ work hard ~ spend less than you make every week ~ save for what you want ~ only borrow for education, a home, or car... and then only borrow what you KNOW you can pay it back without overtime figured in, or other "windfalls" ~ finally, decide you are going to be happy with what you have, while you dream, plan and save for what you would like to have, down the road. There is peace and contentment to be found in this advice.

Really, no young couple is entitled to have what their parents have worked a lifetime for... But often I look at lots of young people today, and they seem to truly believe things are important, and that they "need" them. However, things are things, and they go away. If your stuff goes away, you will be fine, but work to hang on to your family, and keep the lines of communications with loved ones open and healthy.

I grew up knowing that family, good health, truth and patience combined with "faith, hope, and charity" are really important. I tell my kids that if they concentrate on those things in life, a lot of other stuff will work itself out. I know this to be true. Of course a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt either.........

to quote...

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf ~

“When our wagon gets stuck in the mud, God is much more likely to assist the man who gets out to push than the man who merely raises his voice in prayer—no matter how eloquent the oration.”

Two Principles for Any Economy, Ensign, Nov. 2009, 56-57

your camera went somewhere without you.?

Early this morning my incredible, fabulous, camera went on vacation without me. LOL Son1 and Sweetee borrowed it to make a quick getaway excursion to see her bestie and hubby, and her brother who has recently returned stateside with the Navy.

A person I consider a friend, whose camera is never lent to ANYONE, even to take a picture of herself (she uses a tripod and remote for that, she told me,) was appalled that I could so easily lend mine out. She doesn't understand me any more than I understand her, today... She has no point of reference for being a mom, as she never wanted children and I have no point of reference for stuff being more important than the close and trusting relationship I have with my kids... I admit that I laughed at her shock and dismay. Then I apologized, but I still don't understand it.

Son1 leaves in 6 weeks for Navy boot and the start of many new adventures for them together as he makes a career out of this change in their life-paths. I am told by a friend whose been a Navy wife for more than 30 years, and whose hubby is "up there" in rank, and by some other Navy contacts that the Nuclear Program is pretty exclusive ~ I know Son1 is excited to be a part of it. I am happy for them, because it is what they want.

Everyone knows he will of course have deployments and they will have days of missing family/loved ones and probably short stints of "hating life" ahead of them both... so for now they concentrate on enjoying the time they have together. They are so in love and I consider myself lucky to be called "mom" by all my kids.

It really wasn't a sacrifice to lend them my baby... errr, I mean ~ my camera.! LOL I DO miss it, because I have taken to carrying it everywhere I go, just in case I find a "one shot deal". The only truly bad part is that now these kids of mine will find that they have to start saving, in order to buy one. hahaha I certainly have found that once I started taking pics with my DSLR I was spoiled for "anything" else! I've had a great little point and shoot for a long time, and it takes fine pics... but I hardly ever use it any more. And even though I don't really think of my camera as an indispensable part of my life ~ like my children and hubby... my Canon~T1i is one of the best purchases we have made in our married life, I find myself wishing and planning for places to go and things to "snap". ;-) I really enjoy using it, and yeah, I even miss it this morning.

But mostly, I am happily hoping Son1 and Sweetee have fun, make lots of memories, and get lots of GREAT shots and movies this weekend to keep them company through the months of separation that are coming up. They will do fine with their challenges, they are REALLY good kids and devoted to each other, they are strong and I have great faith in them... but having good pictures WILL help with the separation!

So yeah, I let my camera go on vacation without me.! ;-)

... another month almost gone!

"Days fly by faster as you get older," my mother used to tell me that when I was a girl... and I would think... YEAH, RIIIIGHT! LOL Sometimes I wonder... if I could have that young body back, and keep my experience...? ahhh, what a dream~

Once you grow up and have kids of your own, a home/hubby to care for/about... maybe you have a very different kind of life from mine, but still... doesn't it "seem" that the older you get the faster the days pass?

Life in my personal little Hooterville (AKA "SmallTown" AZ) is settling into a reasonable routine. The in-laws have adjusted to life in this DRY southwest region, instead of their previous more humid part of central TX, where everything was green, and grass did not have to be watered. Notwithstanding, it's been a relatively uneventful adjustment for both. The hardest part is that they are no longer able to be together. Mom lives with us and Dad is in a end of life care facility. He is stable, for how long is anyone's guess.

Mom is stabilizing too, and it honestly feels like a privilege to be of service to her. If someone had told me even 10 years ago that someday I would be helping to care for my MIL I would have called them a liar! We had, what I can only term as an "interesting" relationship for most of my marriage, but in my world and from my belief of family, this is what families do. They love and support one another through all stages of life, and mom needs people and stimulus. In a care center she would shrivel. The longer we care for her the more convinced I am of this truth. Another surprising fact is that through this experience my love is growing exponentially. So as long as mom stays relatively amiable, we will keep her here, with us.

I can honestly say that God holds us in His hands continually as we attempt this path. Often I feel His gentle encouragement to not loose my cool, in the moment ~ when challenges arise. At other times I KNOW that my sense of humor has been given a gigantic boost and I simply feel the urge to laugh rather than respond in a less appropriate way to difficult situations that come to our lives.

A side benefit we really never thought about, is that our children are getting to know the grandparents who they have not seen and rarely heard from for the last 18 years. It's a sweet, unexpected blessing. For the first time in 20 years hubby spent a short time on father's day with his father...

We are all trying to gather as many happy moments together as we can... for later when memories will have to do.

finally, pictures of our 2010 family reunion

Starting out in the van the first morning of the trip... here is our cute Princess Bride and her Sir Knight (it is hard to believe they have been married 2 yrs!)

This is where we stayed... it was very nice, and was right across the street from the beach.

here PB and SK are again after we got to the condo and walked to the beach

Son2... it was a beautiful evening and the kids enjoyed stretching their legs after the long car ride.

loving my hubby is really easy, cause he is just a wonderful, caring and handsome man!

The first two days we went to Knott's Berry Farm, San Diego Wild Animal Park AND the Zoo, had such a great time, even with a little rain in the afternoons...

Every night we had beautiful sunsets, and every morning we had gorgeous sunrises...

After Son1 and Sweetee joined us we went to Sea World

Here are the kids, all lined up, waiting to get WET! LOL

and of course these are the performers ~ taking a final bow

There was plenty of silliness and smiles...

(Son2 is taking the picture in the third shot above...)


Some of the kids went Sea Kayaking... (a great workout, I am told...)

and boogy boarding... also not something "I" participated in... LOL

We had GREAT meals together at the condo and sometimes at restaurants...

On Saturday, Son1, Sweetee, hubby and I went to the San Diego Temple...


All in all we really enjoyed the wonderful scenery and had so much fun being together and playing hard, whether it was for 4 days or a week it was so worth the energy we put into making time for each other. And then of course we needed a vacation after the vacation... LOL

Because our sons have joined the Navy we have no idea for sure when our next reunion will be, but we ARE "planning" one, and we will manage to have some family gathering every few years at least.

It was so great to spent time as a whole family.

...so many changes!

I don't even know where to start. Our lives are completely in flux. We got home from vacation with our children and went immediately into rescue mode for hubby's parents.

My FIL is in end of life care, MIL is living with us while we try to assess where to go next with her care, her dementia is much worse than we had any clue and the changes have taken place mostly in the last few months.

My time is no longer my own and I find myself struggling to just stay on top of email and my photo project. It's a good thing I hadn't planned anything for the summer, (at least nothing written in stone.)

I will try to get some of our vacation photos posted here, but there are quite a few on my project 365 if anyone is really interested. Start with April 19th and move forward (but the vacation pictures are not necessarily in order, or limited to the time we were gone in April...)

to quote...

~Mark Twain:
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

The "promise" of Easter.

The peach tree is in bloom and the day is glorious.

Easter will forever be a bit tender for me, 3 years ago on Easter evening daddy returned "home"... but knowing/understanding the message of Jesus Christ, the Savior of us all, means that on that beautiful evening it was the first time daddy and momma had been together for any real quality time for some very long years, though they died just 5 short weeks apart. That thought was a sweet reality for me.

I always loved Easter growing up, momma made it special... As I learned and repented as an adult I grew to love the message of the Atonement. I grew to love and have a deep gratitude for my Savior. That is when Easter became more than just a nice family holiday, for me...

I love Easter for another reason the last few years. A reason that simply increases my value of this special gift the Savior gave to the world. It is the day that my parents were reunited in the heavens to await their resurrection. Easter is a reminder of the day that the phrase "morning of the first resurrection" became PERSONAL ~ to me... I know my parents are together, happy, and waiting for the rest of the family, no matter how long it takes for us all to be reunited.

The veil seems thin to me today as I remember my parents, and revel in the message of Easter ~ repentance, forgiveness, renewal, Godly love ~ the Atonement... I pray each of my loved ones have a similarly beautiful experience.

..the days rush by

..with speed that can cause a bit of dizziness, if you're not careful. Already we have reached the end of March for this year of 2010. I find myself wondering how is that even possible. Nevertheless it is... it's here, and we better make the best of it. I woke up too early, and to celebrate the day I took a lovely picture for day 90 of my photo project. Check it out.

The best thing about getting to the end of March is that in April we are planning a fabulous family reunion, and the time will soon be upon us. All of our children will be able to make it, so that at one point we are all together again. That is something I am really looking forward to.

Later this year Son1 and Sweetee will be heading off (probably across the country) to start a new chapter in their lives together. Living the all new life for them of a Navy family, which can and probably will mean lots of travel, with interesting places to go and lovely ports to see. They are excited to take on the world, young and in love with each other. What a great joy as a mother to be a part of that. But, before they scatter on their waves of adventure we decided to attempt to gather our children and their spouses together for some more fun in the sun and surf. It worked (a little to my surprise), and promises to be a wonderful vacation treat.

Our pups will be home with a "hired sitter", who thankfully is also a friend... watching over them and our home. I am glad they will be well loved while we play on the coast, but I know they will miss us and I, will most definitely ~ miss them. They are a true and happy part of my everyday life.

I have become "the lady with the dog". My little girl puppy goes practically everywhere with me, and is doing very well in her early socialization training, heading towards life as my medical alert dog. She happily rides in her carrier, when in the car. Sometimes for hours, and behaves well most places we take her. She is a little too exuberant still around other dogs, but after all not even 5 months old, so she will get better in that area too. Despite all of that, as a family we decided that everyone would leave their dogs home... and even though my baby could have gone as a service dog in training we are leaving her here so that we can really concentrate on family time, and so that she can retain her normal routines.

We have tons of plans and adventures to enjoy, I am looking forward to spending that time with my family. The thought of what is coming just makes spring seem even greater in my mind. I love this time of year always, and the weather of late has been warm and pleasant. Tiny buds are peeking out of branches everywhere. Spring is gaining momentum in our corner of the world. I feel so happy about that.

...to see the light,

and the world in general through a camera lens and trying to fill up the days on my 365 project is at times a lot harder than it should be, although not necessarily harder than I thought it would be. My creativity is not as well developed as some in our family, plus I find myself wanting to shoot new and different things, not just the same things I always thing of... and unfortunately physical limitations have kept me from going out and about this week.

On top of that, while the weather has been much nicer in the last 10 days, the ground is still brown and dreary, and I want to see the hills full of green and for spring to come to stay. It's hard to say which I like better, because I really like both spring and fall, they are my favorite seasons... and this last winter was such a challenge for me, more so than normal. I am not sure why, exactly. Truth told, it doesn't really matter, I am just glad winter is moving into the background.

We have a family trip planned for later in the spring... A Clan Reunion with all my children. It's going to be so fun, and I am really really looking forward to getting away from the house and spending time with my whole immediate family.

I have not found blogging to be much fun the last few months, but I am hoping that will change again soon and I will share more about our vacation after we get back and I have a few pictures to post.

snow storm...

Just a few days ago our night skies were so clear I was able to manage a clear shot of the Orion Constellation... I learned to recognize it while looking at the stars with my daddy... Hubby and I love to spend time just looking at the night sky in good weather, and enjoying thunder storms too... Small joys, those are things that are important.

But, it's going to be a few more weeks before the porch evenings/nights happen in comfort again. Yesterday we had a really good snow storm, and it was REALLY cold. While driving home from grocery shopping we even had a complete white out, it was a little freaky seeing as how we live in AZ and many think all we see is sun and dry heat, ha ha. A bit later the weather got busy again and we had more snow...

This view is looking right outside our front door, towards the hills to the northeast.

Today the snow is gone and the ground is brown again. I can't wait for some green to start peeping through the earth. I am soooo ready for spring. I can't remember wanting spring to come so much before. This has been the LONGEST winter I remember in a long, long time.

keeping up with the jones'...

or NOT.! In truth, I don't even try, ha ha. But, I thought it made for a decent title. Today, there isn't much to say that's new, and even "the Jones family" isn't doing much that's new. In my corner of the world, spring tries to lift it's head periodically, but has it's efforts dashed regularly. Two weeks ago it was beautiful and warm one day, then it would snow again. Two days ago it was also beautiful, if a bit chilly... but yesterday it was windy and snowing, and today it's wet and dreary... by tomorrow it might be sunny and warm again though. The pups love it when that is true. I think they are more anxious for spring than I am, even.

The best news I can share is that we've had the most rain this year that I can remember, (a least during a winter) since we moved to this high desert valley in June of 1994. That bodes for a beautiful spring for us, but a seriously challenging summer danger, in regards to the fire season. Guess we'll have to see about that as the year moves on. Officially spring doesn't even arrive for a couple more weeks, but everyone I know is so anxious and wishing it would hurry up and get here, already! [chuckle] Aren't we a fickle bunch? We pray and pray and pray for rain and when we get it, we complain. (But not serious complaining... most people ARE really VERY glad for the rain we get...)

It's just that spring, and the beauty that goes with it is enticing, and we are anxious for the glory that IS spring, in our desert southwest. But we must wait, and so we do... and we try to think of new things to talk about, except the winter, and the rain, and the snow...

say hello...

...to cold/flu bug #347, seriously, SERIOUSLY??? This is simply ridiculous! Even after airing out the house in the past few days, wiping down all surfaces faithfully, taking the dogs to the park, and breathing fresh air to clear out germs from my lungs, here I am, sick again.?

This winter's bug season has been the WORST for me in decades, I am so over it.

flowers from my sweetheart...

...spread all over the house this morning before I arose, a spring bouquet of various daisies, greenery etc., and a sweet card to tell me that he is glad we met all those years ago...

Some years we celebrate Valentine's Day late or early, depending on hubby's work schedule. Today was OUR V-Day... We are blessed to be in love after more than 26 years. One thing I have learned over these years is that it is truly important not to pass up the opportunity to say in spoken and written word that you feel blessed, happy, loved, and grateful for the gift of marriage to your valentine... The days go by fast, and the opportunities may not always be there, if your delay.

I wish I had something more to say...

...but life has been so tiring, and uninteresting.

I've spent the last weeks (6) with a cough and a variety of bacterial and viral bugs in my lungs and upper respiratory tract... I'd just get over one thing, and I'd get something else. It's been a long few weeks.

I am finally... just today feeling like I may be on the mend. I am so grateful. Maybe that is a good enough thing to say, I am grateful...

to quote...

If you want happiness for a lifetime ~ help someone else.

~ Chinese proverb

...winter, so over it!

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning at the Groundhog Day ceremony in western Pennsylvania, officially predicting six more weeks of winter. However in AZ we know that spring is just around the corner...

Yesterday hubby and I were talking about plans to take the puppies walking in some new places once things start to green up. (2-3 weeks?) Certainly in 4 weeks we will be having some really nice days, and the crocus will be starting to poke their heads out.

I plan to have my camera at the ready to get some nice "local green" shots for a change. We had to go all the way to Mesa last week to find any spring color. Chloe was totally confused at what the green grass on the grounds of our hotel was. hahaha

I am seeing light in a whole different way, through the eye of my camera. Foto-Friends told me I would, but it's hard to understand when you've never really done much "real" photography. Point and shoot just does not count, I am learning.

It's a fun hobby and I am figuring out what all the fuss has been about all these years. Still I am glad I waited for digital, I could NEVER have afforded the cost of processing all the pictures I delete. ;-)

snow, wind, rain and more snow...

We've been having some nasty weather here in the lovely Southwestern US. We live in the high desert, and contrary to popular understanding we DO get some snow (which is usually gone in less than a day, and I personally like it that way...) We get our share of rain, enough usually to keep desert flora and fauna alive, and we get a LOT of wind, because our high desert valley is, for the most part, a huge expanse between the mountain ranges. In fact, WIND is something you just have to learn to live with, if you are going to live in any part of the beautiful SW.

Having started with that description, the last week has been kind of crazy, weather wise, around here. On Monday and Tuesday the weather was typical, sunny, a bit nippy, breezy, and clear... simply put, it was BEAUTIFUL. So while out running some essential errands with hubby, we took a very quick detour to a lake close by, so that I could load up my camera with pictures of some beautiful scenery and stunning close-ups of AZ beauty... (without getting in a car, because not only am I still sick and coughing, I really don't want to get on the roads in bad weather...) I barely left the vehicle, but it was nice to focus my camera's eye on the lovely vistas that make up our corner of the world. I had fun just snapping scenery while we were moving very fast along the highway.

Then, everything changed. It was as though the whole of AZ was magically transported to another part of the country. Over the next 3 nights we were hit by back to back storm systems that brought tons of very cold precipitation... Flooding, road closures, mud, rock, and snow slides are happening more and more each day since the weather change. Each morning for days, people unaccustomed to it ~ have been waking to white lanscapes and treacherous roads to maneuver. Schools had to close because we don't have the equipment necessary to clear even the main roads fast enough to assure safety for the children. Local colleges closed for the same reason, and ~ or because crossing the campus was dangerous to healthy limbs walking on shoes not meant for snow and ice covered concrete. Fender benders and vehicles slide offs have become the sad reality for too many local motorists... A couple of days ago some roofs collapsed in a town 90 miles northeast of us. It's just in many ways so nasty, and something most people here see a lot less often than in other places. So, it's something to "write home about"... Even though we ARE grateful for the precipitation, HONEST, it's time for us to be returned to our lovely normal weather conditions.

Of course during this tme period, there was also the joy of "snow days" for students and teachers, who got time off to play... and there is the beauty of the moment, when the white landscape is so pleasing to the eye... I caught some of that beauty around my part of our small community and also added those pictures to my project 365, if you are interested they will be posting over the next few days.

So when I woke up this morning to even more snow, I wasn't shocked... I'm just ready for our milder AZ weather to return to us, and soon please... I have it from some reliable sources that Oregon and Washington have been enjoying our normal weather this week, but as much as I love you guys... we want it BACK..! ha ha ha

...mine!

The fine art of toy take away has been learned in our house... hahaha

Tucker was an "only dog" for a really long time (3+ years). I mean, that is a long time in dog years... and I worried that he would resent the new puppy. But he and Chloe have great fun playing. In fact HE is like a completely different dog. He's very willing to share food, water, and toys... and even a rousing game of tug is only fun until the other stops...

Then, they play "chase"... the stampede is sometimes DEAFENING... LOL

...a walk in the crisp winter air.

I got to spend yesterday, all day with hubby, grocery shopping, running errands, and then strolling though the outer grounds of a Museum so that I could fill up the card with pictures that I might be able to use for my project 365... (I have truly exhausted my indoor opportunities at home for a while... LOL) and out of dozens of pictures I found only 5 that made the grade...


It was such a lovely day and my camera just HAD to take some pictures of "us"...


These don't fit my plans for my project, and I post them here for friend and family that don't "facebook".

...amendment on the photo journal idea

After a few more email exchanges over the last couple days with some wonderful friends (especially "Phyllis",) and extra encouragement from friends on facebook I have decided to "try" and keep up with the BIGGER project after all... However since it will be so many days of photos, I am starting a new blog for it. I'm calling it:

project 365 pollyanna style...

If you would like to join me, and create your own project, please send me a link to your photos/blog too. I am also backdating a few posts and including more photos from the last few days, so that the blog starts on January 1st. This just makes it easier for me to track where I am in this quest. A link for the project will stay available on the side menu of this main blog.

Thanks to all my friends (and again, especially to Phil) for encouraging me to step outside my comfort zone and try to do this... It should certainly be interesting, for me.

a photo journal...

My friend that is really into landscape photography (as in semi-pro, in southeastern Utah,) on finding out that I got a cool new camera at Christmas, suggested that I post one new picture every day... I gather from what she said this is called a "Project 365". My first thought? 365 pictures in the same # of days? Geez, that's like a picture a day for a year. No way Phyllis Diller.! (I jokingly call her that, because her name starts with Phil... and she and I go WAY back, and it's well, a JOKE... She looks nothing like Phyllis Diller, more like a very young and pretty Donna Reed if you ask me. But that is beside the point...) That's way too dedicated for this slacker, dear friend!

Having said that Phil, darling... I "will" try for 52 pix in one year... That would be relatively, one picture a week. Still, I won't promise to post these pictures on the same day each week... and if I miss a week I will TRY to catch up by posting two the next week... BUT... NO PROMISES. Period.! Do you understand, dearheart? And NO guilt, you hear? hahahahaha You know I love ya', but seriously Phil, I am simply NOT a photographer, and you can't use the "but you have that cool camera that you simply need to use", card... OK? I KNOW have a phenomenal camera now, but you need to remember that my youngest is much better (and I mean SERIOUSLY, much better,) at using it right now, than "I" may ever be...

There... Now that the ground rules are laid out, here goes:

EDITED: because of a change in plans... see my Jan 5th 2010 post. This picture has been moved to a new blog.

...the perfect ten?

...it'll never happen... No year will ever be a perfect ten.

So, then the trick is to make each day into a perfect 10 or maybe just an "almost 10". At the end of those kinds of years you can look at it and think: wow, great year..!

I just had one of those years... wasn't perfect, wasn't even good or terrific some days... but over all, it was a great year. And because I know me, and hubby, and I know the rest of my family... this coming year will be an "almost 10 year" again... Be assured we'll have huge challenges, and irritating setbacks, and maybe even a few knee bending emergencies... but... at the end of this coming year we will be able to look back and see all the good moments.

I am so completely blessed to be a part of a family that lives life that way. It's a "new canvas for a year of joy to paint" for us. I can't remember where I read that, but it fits~!